Aurelia asked:

Baggage, you seem to have discussed Izzy and Callie at length, but not
mentioned Bug.

How does Bug feel about this? Reality is that Callie could leave
tomorrow, but Bug is your daughter forever and how she and Izzy get along is
critical if you are going to actually adopt her, because it makes her
and Bug legally related forever as well.

I’m also curious if this is how she acts in other foster care
situations. Obviously she’s trying to impress you, but she must have some
faults…what do her current and previous foster parents say?

First, Callie’s case plan goal is termination. Most likely Callie will stay here as a long-term foster placement until she ages out unless she changes her mind about wanting to be adopted.

Bug actually knows Izzy. They are from the same town. They share(d) the same caseworker. In a weird twist of fate kind of thing, at one point, Bug’s biomom babysat for Izzy. And Izzy has some relatives who are foster parents. These relatives never fostered Izzy because of their relationship with Izzy’s parents, but Izzy’s relatives were Bug’s foster parents at one time.

Ok, got all that? Anyway, Bug was the first person I asked about the placement possibility. She was excited and she gets along with Izzy quite well. Izzy likes a lot of the same things Bug does (High School Musical, etc.) and Callie thinks those things are childish. Callie gets very annoyed by Bug, but Izzy is more patient and more willing to engage Bug.

Bug was very sad when Izzy left and wanted to know when she could come back. Bug is very excited about the adoption placement. She met with her therapist today and he told me that Bug relayed the same sentiment to him.

As far as Izzy’s previous behavior, she has been in one foster home the entire time she was in foster care (3+ years). The foster parents care very deeply for her and Alex, but they are both 75 years old and do not want to adopt any children. Izzy calls them Grandma and Grandpa and that is the relationship they had, not mom/dad type relationship.

Izzy has never had behavior issues in her foster home. Her foster mom made a point of telling me that she could leave money laying around and Izzy would not touch it. Izzy’s case file mentions two behavior incidents..one was that she wrote a letter to another boy that had some “inappropriate” content, although after I heard what she said, it seems very typical for a teenage girl. One was that she got suspended from school because two girls had been picking on her. She told the principal but he just told her to ignore them. The girls jumped her in the bathroom and because Izzy defended herself, she got suspended too.

I’m certain she does have faults, considering she is a human kid   But the behavior she displayed here seems very much in line from all the reports I’ve read.

Izzy’s SW was going to talk to her today and then we will talk tomorrow to see how we should proceed.

The visit with Izzy has gone very well. She’ll go home in the morning. Her worker will discuss with Izzy about whether she feels that she needs more visits in order to adjust or whether she feels she is ready for the placement.

Izzy has said about nine million times that she loves it here. She tells Callie every six minutes that she hopes I adopt her. She’s already picked out a new name that she wants to be called by when she is adopted. She seems really happy here. She is a little uneasy about leaving her brother, Alex. Alex is a year younger than Izzy. He doesn’t want to be adopted but he supports his sister’s decision. The two of them talked on the phone twice this weekend and will continue phone calls/letters and visits once she is here for good.

Izzy is very good with the younger children. Her interests tend to run a little behind Callie’s..for instance, Izzy likes Hannah Montana and High School Musical. But she also likes shows on Discovery Health. She has a much more innocent quality to her than Callie. Callie seems older than Izzy because Callie is more witty and cynical.

Izzy is very good at cleaning. She likes to grocery shop. Callie and Izzy planned and cooked dinner one night. They made fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and biscuits without any assistance or guidance from me. It was delicious.

Although Izzy has a diagnosis of mild mental retardation, the best way I can describe her to you is to say that she has developmental delays. Bubba isn’t mentally retarded, but he is not up to what a 3 year old should be. Just going off my knowledge of this weekend, I would say that Izzy presents as more of a 13 or 14 year old, rather than a 17 year old. Her reading skills are poor, but she has had no trouble reading anything that she’s had to read this weekend. She even has worked to check ingredients on things to see if they are dairy free before giving them to Snowbaby. Izzy was negelected for a very long time before she entered foster care. Since being in foster care, her reading level and IQ score have increased. Izzy spent much of her childhood fending for herself and not getting any kind of intellectual stimulation.

I have no doubt at all that she will do fine living and working on her own once she graduates from high school. She has held down jobs. She knows how to shop, has a savings account. She can work a computer, do laundry, and loves to bake and cook.

Callie and Izzy get along really well. Callie can be moody but Izzy isn’t bothered by it. If Callie is sulking in her room, Izzy will just go in the other room and watch TV. The two of them have sat up late talking. They found out that they can fit into most of each other’s clothes and are very excited about it. They both like to experiment with make-up. Callie is obsessed with Johnny Depp and Izzy thinks he’s gross, but she likes the rest of Callie’s posters of Justin Timberlake and Chris Brown and the other assorted men on the wall.

When I got into doing foster care, I really thought that it was just for me to try to get as young of a child as possible to replace the baby I didn’t think I could have.

I am so glad that I decided to open up my heart a little. I love my family.