Aurelia asked:

Baggage, you seem to have discussed Izzy and Callie at length, but not
mentioned Bug.

How does Bug feel about this? Reality is that Callie could leave
tomorrow, but Bug is your daughter forever and how she and Izzy get along is
critical if you are going to actually adopt her, because it makes her
and Bug legally related forever as well.

I’m also curious if this is how she acts in other foster care
situations. Obviously she’s trying to impress you, but she must have some
faults…what do her current and previous foster parents say?

First, Callie’s case plan goal is termination. Most likely Callie will stay here as a long-term foster placement until she ages out unless she changes her mind about wanting to be adopted.

Bug actually knows Izzy. They are from the same town. They share(d) the same caseworker. In a weird twist of fate kind of thing, at one point, Bug’s biomom babysat for Izzy. And Izzy has some relatives who are foster parents. These relatives never fostered Izzy because of their relationship with Izzy’s parents, but Izzy’s relatives were Bug’s foster parents at one time.

Ok, got all that? Anyway, Bug was the first person I asked about the placement possibility. She was excited and she gets along with Izzy quite well. Izzy likes a lot of the same things Bug does (High School Musical, etc.) and Callie thinks those things are childish. Callie gets very annoyed by Bug, but Izzy is more patient and more willing to engage Bug.

Bug was very sad when Izzy left and wanted to know when she could come back. Bug is very excited about the adoption placement. She met with her therapist today and he told me that Bug relayed the same sentiment to him.

As far as Izzy’s previous behavior, she has been in one foster home the entire time she was in foster care (3+ years). The foster parents care very deeply for her and Alex, but they are both 75 years old and do not want to adopt any children. Izzy calls them Grandma and Grandpa and that is the relationship they had, not mom/dad type relationship.

Izzy has never had behavior issues in her foster home. Her foster mom made a point of telling me that she could leave money laying around and Izzy would not touch it. Izzy’s case file mentions two behavior incidents..one was that she wrote a letter to another boy that had some “inappropriate” content, although after I heard what she said, it seems very typical for a teenage girl. One was that she got suspended from school because two girls had been picking on her. She told the principal but he just told her to ignore them. The girls jumped her in the bathroom and because Izzy defended herself, she got suspended too.

I’m certain she does have faults, considering she is a human kid   But the behavior she displayed here seems very much in line from all the reports I’ve read.

Izzy’s SW was going to talk to her today and then we will talk tomorrow to see how we should proceed.

The visit with Izzy has gone very well. She’ll go home in the morning. Her worker will discuss with Izzy about whether she feels that she needs more visits in order to adjust or whether she feels she is ready for the placement.

Izzy has said about nine million times that she loves it here. She tells Callie every six minutes that she hopes I adopt her. She’s already picked out a new name that she wants to be called by when she is adopted. She seems really happy here. She is a little uneasy about leaving her brother, Alex. Alex is a year younger than Izzy. He doesn’t want to be adopted but he supports his sister’s decision. The two of them talked on the phone twice this weekend and will continue phone calls/letters and visits once she is here for good.

Izzy is very good with the younger children. Her interests tend to run a little behind Callie’s..for instance, Izzy likes Hannah Montana and High School Musical. But she also likes shows on Discovery Health. She has a much more innocent quality to her than Callie. Callie seems older than Izzy because Callie is more witty and cynical.

Izzy is very good at cleaning. She likes to grocery shop. Callie and Izzy planned and cooked dinner one night. They made fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and biscuits without any assistance or guidance from me. It was delicious.

Although Izzy has a diagnosis of mild mental retardation, the best way I can describe her to you is to say that she has developmental delays. Bubba isn’t mentally retarded, but he is not up to what a 3 year old should be. Just going off my knowledge of this weekend, I would say that Izzy presents as more of a 13 or 14 year old, rather than a 17 year old. Her reading skills are poor, but she has had no trouble reading anything that she’s had to read this weekend. She even has worked to check ingredients on things to see if they are dairy free before giving them to Snowbaby. Izzy was negelected for a very long time before she entered foster care. Since being in foster care, her reading level and IQ score have increased. Izzy spent much of her childhood fending for herself and not getting any kind of intellectual stimulation.

I have no doubt at all that she will do fine living and working on her own once she graduates from high school. She has held down jobs. She knows how to shop, has a savings account. She can work a computer, do laundry, and loves to bake and cook.

Callie and Izzy get along really well. Callie can be moody but Izzy isn’t bothered by it. If Callie is sulking in her room, Izzy will just go in the other room and watch TV. The two of them have sat up late talking. They found out that they can fit into most of each other’s clothes and are very excited about it. They both like to experiment with make-up. Callie is obsessed with Johnny Depp and Izzy thinks he’s gross, but she likes the rest of Callie’s posters of Justin Timberlake and Chris Brown and the other assorted men on the wall.

When I got into doing foster care, I really thought that it was just for me to try to get as young of a child as possible to replace the baby I didn’t think I could have.

I am so glad that I decided to open up my heart a little. I love my family.

Callie: No, seriously. Why aren’t they here? Are you sure they said to meet here? We’ve been sitting here for an hour. This sucks.

Me: Yes, they must just be running late. Bubba. Stop hitting Snowbaby. Bubba. I mean it. Stop hitting her.

Callie: Maybe they were lying.

Me: Maybe we are on a hidden camera show.

Callie: Hey! Maybe this is an episode of Punk’d. I hope so. I want to meet Ashton.

(35 minutes later)

Callie: This is the worst episode of Punk’d EVER.

*****

Bug: It’s because I’m in trouble for stealing money from my mom.

Izzy: I don’t steal. I never do. Oh, and I do what I’m told. If you tell me to do something, I’ll do it. I mean it. And I like to cook and clean. Um..I’m allowed to call my brother. And they said you would let me write letters to my mom. And I forgot my night clothes. It was an accident.

*****

Me: Why are you girls talking in the closet?

Callie: Because this closet is the size of a baseball field.

Izzy: Um..I want you to adopt me. I love it here. I like this house. There are things to do here. And I will behave. I promise. I know you don’t know me, but I really want to be adopted. I’m not ready to live on my own yet. I still have stuff to learn.

*****

Bubba: Mom. Mom. Mom.

Me: What?

Bubba: Who is that lady in Callie’s room?

*****

Callie: So, Mama Baggage. Me and Izzy think we need another teenager to even things out. So, when can we get another kid?

Me: Hey Bubba, do you know you are getting a new sister tonight?

Bubba: Another one?

*****

Bug: Wait, she really is coming tonight? For real?

Me: Yes.

Bug: Our family is so cool.

*****

Callie: But I don’t understand. Why does she have to have a transition period? Why can’t they just drop her off for good?

Me: Well, they are just trying to help her adjust. I mean, this morning she was going about her business, this afternoon they call her in to tell her that they found her a family, she’s getting adopted, and guess what? She’s leaving tonight to go meet them. I mean, you can understand how that feels.

Callie: Yeah, she’s probably thinking, “Man, I hope this family doesn’t suck.”

Well, in the interest of time, I’ll just update real quick to say:

That my family is very excited to welcome Izzy, age 17, into our home as a pre-adoptive placement.

The excitement never stops.

After Callie and Snowbaby and I ran around town looking for inexpensive bedding to put on the four beds in the “big girl’s room” (Or as Bubba says, “There are 1-2-1-2 beds now!), I checked my email.

I had one asking me to pick up the three respite/possible placement girls this afternoon.

AND

I had one saying that team/court had met and that they believed I would be a good adoptive home for Izzie (the 17 year old I talked about earlier.) They wanted to know if I would try a weekend visit with her.

TOMORROW.

So um.

I haven’t really talked about all the talking I have done regarding the Izzie situation. I don’t have time to go into all of it now, but I will soon. I knew that they still would need to discuss it with the team/judge because of some case issues and all this. I never thought it would happen this fast.

And then I made a frantic call to my worker.

Who is now making more calls to see what we are going to do next.

A profile was presented to me regarding an older teenager who needs an adoptive placement.

The girl wants very very badly to be adopted. Her time is running out.

She has an IQ which can be classified as mild mental retardation and is very high functioning. No behavioral problems, no medical issues, no other diagnosis.

She wants a family before it is too late.

Ever since we heard about her, Callie has been BEGGING me to get her. She wants a girl her age. Bug thinks it is a good idea. I don’t think my mom thinks it is a good idea and Geo doesn’t think it is.

Having Callie around has helped a lot. Bug’s behavior is a lot better. I enjoy having Callie around to talk to. She keeps her things neat, she picks up the house, and although she has a bit of teenage angst, she is generally no trouble. From what I gather, this new girl is quite similar to Callie except that I would venture to say that Callie has a rather high IQ.

While I think some of Geo’s points are valid…When will this girl be able to live on her own? Can I provide for her money wise once her subsidy ends if she is not able to move out right away? Can I continue to work on the disabilities that the other children have if I add one more?…I am very much drawn to this girl and her situation.

It is strange for me to feel this way, because in all honesty, I want a baby very badly. Several of my blog friends have gotten babies in the past few weeks and that has made me start thinking about it again. I don’t know how I would get a baby, or if it is at all practical. And part of me feels selfish for wanting a baby, when there is a girl already here who wants a family so very badly.

This one needs some more thought.

1. Please read the post from Krissy Poopyhands and my post about my friend Ann. Please help. If you can give anything, please do.

2.

Bubba: Hey Mom! I like your face!!

3.

Me: No no baby, my head hurts.

Snowbaby: Ow? Hea?

Me: Yes, my head is ow.

Snowbaby: Ow? (Points at her head)

Me: Yes. Ow.

She then leaned over and started kissing me over and over on the head.

Snowbaby: BYE!!

4.

Bubba: Bug. I got roll.

Bug: MOMMM! I want a Tootsie Roll.

Bubba: NO BUG. MY ROLL. I go pee!

Me: He got it because he went pee in the potty.

Bug: If I go pee in the potty, can I get a Tootsie Roll?

5. For the past few days, we’ve been throwing around the idea of a new placement. She is a 15 year old biracial girl. Not at all who I thought I would have when I first started this whole thing, but she might be a very good addition to our family. More on this later.

Happy Friday!

GeoIM: Hey, what’s up?

BaggageIM: Not much. Oh hey, I got three foster placements.

GeoIM: What? For real? What does that mean?

BaggageIM: I got three more placements.

GeoIM: Oh God. They are there now?

BaggageIM: Yes.

GeoIM: Oh my.

BaggageIM: It is a Momma kitty cat and her two baby cats. I tried to say that we don’t we take cats, only kids, but apparently somebody left them here. Or they heard how awesome my house is, so they came here by themselves.

GeoIM: Oh ha! I thought you already got three more kids.

BaggageIM: Not yet.

GeoIM: What did you do about the cats?

BaggageIM: I told them to buzz off. I can’t have cats here. Although Bug did let one run into the living room. I was on the phone talking to the SW and a cat just ran by me.

GeoIM: You have one strange home.

BaggageIM: You’re telling me.

Didn’t get picked for sibling group of three.