Scraping the bottom
I’ve mentioned recently that money is tight. I didn’t have a lot of reserves built up when the kids came, and every bit of money I had, plus some, went to getting them the things they needed like clothes, beds, bedding, toys, etc. When I got my tax return, most of it vanished repaying loans that I had gotten from friends/family to get me through that time. I’ve never had a chance to rebuild up any extra money because I haven’t been able to work. I’ve had to stand up for myself a few times over the past few weeks and say “HEY! Just because I work at home doesn’t mean I DO NOT WORK.” Of course, it doesn’t always work. Like today, I lost three hours when I had to transport the kids to a visit in the middle of my “work” day. I complained about it, but it is a fine line of complaining vs. pissing DFS off. You don’t want to piss DFS off.
And then of course, Callie came with nothing but her trash bag. And I’ve driven an obscene amount of miles this month. And now I’m in a major financial crisis. I’ve been working as much as I can, after the kids go to sleep, during naptime, getting up early. But there is only so much I can do and I’m getting stressed out beyond belief.
Last night, I worked until I couldn’t stay up anymore, and then I went to bed, trying to keep the faith that something would get straightened out.
Of course, I woke up to find that Cingular says I owe them $400 bucks, and when I said I didn’t, they shut off my phone. Which is quite unfortunate.
I know things are going to improve soon, because I really am scraping bottom. I did get a package from one of you fine people for Callie, and I got a gift card from my sister which was totally unexpected and surprising, and I got Bug classified as a behavioral child which will get us more money each month.
But anyone who thinks you can raise a child on $220 dollars a month, especially when they are in diapers, is nuts. And you can throw us a picnic to show your appreciation, but what you really need to do is to stop asking foster parents to give and give and give and give and give, while not giving them anything back in return.
Anyway, if you don’t hear from me for a few days, that is why.
May 29th, 2007 at 4:16 pm
Hang in there! I’m so mad at the system for you! Please, take a few days off from blogging if it means you can get some work done.
Good luck!
May 29th, 2007 at 5:12 pm
I am where you are just because I am SHM and my husband is only able to bring in about 3/4 of what we need. A couple of years ago we had to downsize to renting a crappy apt because we lost our mortgage after financing it too many times, the final time was for adoption.
Parenting is freaking expensive and there is no support for those of us who cannot work and be assured that our kids will be OK. I tried working for $7 an hour, couldn’t keep up with the high school kids and couldn’t afford it what with half the income going to two hours of daycare for each weekday evening shift I had to work. It’s demoralizing and depressing. Right now I am on dial up and wondering if we will be able to maintain phone and electric until the next time we have money. Got no answers, only empathy. This is a serious problem in this country for a lot of moms but foster moms should definitely not be in this predicament!
May 29th, 2007 at 5:54 pm
Baggage, what size clothes does Snowbaby need? We may have some we could send you if it helps.
May 29th, 2007 at 6:27 pm
I know what you are going through, believe me.
May 29th, 2007 at 6:50 pm
Oh, that’s terrible. Sorry you’re having trouble. Hope things get better. Good luck.
May 29th, 2007 at 7:10 pm
I feel your pain. LM was with me for 6 weeks and I still haven’t received the first per diem check.
May 29th, 2007 at 7:13 pm
That’s BS! Not what your saying, but that you have to go through that. They need to get a freakin clue and start to get real funds going! I’m pissed! Nobody should be having to go through what you’re going through right now, especially those kids, though I know they are not suffering or anything, and that they probably don’t know the difference, but still. I’m sure my hubby would be freaking out at this point, making things worse with his attitude, so thats a small point in your favor, no raging lunatic hubby’s…..
May 29th, 2007 at 7:59 pm
I know this is hard to say to DFS, but can you set work hours for yourself and stick to them? If it were me (I work outside the home), I can say “Sorry, I work 7-3:30 and cannot drive the kids anywhere between 6:30 and 4.” Why can’t you say the same thing? I think it would help if you can say these are my hours every day when I’m working. Okay, so you might not *actually* end up working those hours, but DFS doesn’t know that, just your kids do You have the right to say “I can’t make that appointment, the SW will need to drive them.” It seems especially hard since you live so far away from things–every trip includes so much driving time that it’s far worse than someone who lives in the same town as everything (except those in big cities who I guess can end up driving that long, too!). Anyway, maybe it will work. (And if you find it hard to stick with, can you have “meetings” or “clients” or “deadlines” that simply can’t be missed? Or a “boss” (someone has to be paying you….) who insists you have regular hours? Who’s to say the meeting isn’t with you and project X or the boss is yourself or the deadline is self-imposed?
By the way, can you tell us what your work is? Just insanely/idly curious is all!
May 30th, 2007 at 1:42 am
My favorite thing is when they invite us to the “appreciation” picnic or dinner, they want to charge us for the meal! Surprisingly enough, every time there has been one (picnic every summer, dinner every winter) I have had to shampoo my hair or wash my dog. If this keeps up I may never get to one.
May 30th, 2007 at 11:33 am
We’ve had to draw the line in the sand with our local DSS. We’ve told them, because we have to work, that we ARE NOT available to transport kids to visits outside of the city limits, to court (which is a 40-minute drive), or for out-of-town appointments.
DSS doesn’t like it one bit, but at least in our state we aren’t obligated to do the driving.
May 30th, 2007 at 11:34 am
You know I know. At least they give us a twenty dollar gift card and our meal is free at our appreciation picnic.
And $220 a month is ridiculously low. why are babies always considered the lowest level of care when they are so expensive and require constant supervision? I never understood that.
May 30th, 2007 at 4:40 pm
Is there a way you can maybe list some of the things you need? I don’t know that I have enough to be buying things online right now, but I would like to send something along if I can!
Hang in there
May 31st, 2007 at 1:22 pm
Egads. So sorry. That just sucks the big one. They ask you to take on so much and then don’t hold up their end. I agree with a lot of the suggestions here, ie setting work hours etc. I totally understand that, working from home myself. Sometimes it feels like work gets relegated to last position, whereas other people, who have someone else to tell them when to be there, work is priority #1. And it is what makes everything else roll doesn’t it. No work, no money, no nothing… It is so hard to put your foot down yourself, vs having a boss, manager, client etc put their foot down and set limits. I hope some fairy in the sky sends some help your way. soon.