Me: So, Oklahoma is a land-locked state. What does it mean if a state is land-locked?

Bug: umm..it’s boring?

Bug: Mom, can Snowbaby please come in there? She won’t stop screaming.

Me: Alright, I’m getting dressed, Snowbaby.

Snowbaby: You take bath?

Me: Yes.

Snowbaby (pointing to my nipple): You got booboo?

Me: No, they are supposed to be there.

Snowbaby: They hurt??

*****

Me: Come on Bug, you need to hurry up. You have therapy this afternoon.

Bug: Oh, well that’s just great. I have therapy and I’m wearing my tshirt that says, “I’ve Got Issues.” Well, at least that will save us some time.

Bug: Mom, I feel so sorry for you.

Me: Why’s that?

Bug: Because they don’t make High School Musical or Bratz stuff in grownup sizes.

*****

Bug: But wait, didn’t Ellen adopt the dog?

Me: Yes, but she signed a contract saying she wouldn’t give it to anyone else.

Bug: But that doesn’t matter! She adopted the dog! She has all the rights now! The dog gets her money when she dies just like I do! That’s not right! You could give me to Geo if you wanted, well not that you would, but you could because you have the rights now. Sheesh. Those dog people need to listen when the judge tells you things in court. He tells you about the rights. Stupid people.

Me: Well, I don’t think they went to cour…

Bug: Mom! She adopted it. The judge tells you the rights. Trust me. That is her dog. And the dog gets her money when she dies.

by Bug (posted with permission)

What I did wroung today is lie about stealing Izzy’s diry, read it this morning and then deny about it that I did not read it or take it. Another thing I did wrong is yell at my Mommy and lie at my Mommy. Also walk away from her and scremed at her and rolled my eyes at her and I also did not listen to her at all.

I am even lucky to have mabey to get unground. All I have to do is write this. But now Izzy forgives me and we are ok to me and  I am lucky to have a nice mom because if it was geo he would not have let me go trick or treating at all.

I will never read her diry again.

Bug: I tried to tell her, but she didn’t want to listen to me.

Me: You tried to tell her what?

Bug: I tried to tell her that you don’t appreciate the sex.

Bug: So just one paragraph?

Me: No, it says one paragraph per family member.

Bug: PER FAMILY MEMBER??? Have they seen my family?? UGH! I’m totally getting ripped off!

*****

Virtual School Teacher: So I see that Bug has 10 past due assignments and a 63% for her overall grade.

Me: Yes, that’s right.

Virtual School Teacher: Why the past due assignments?

Me: Because she refused to do any work. Like I told you before, this isn’t an issue of her not understanding the work, but rather issues with her behavior and motivation.

VST: Hmm. Well, I’m going to offer some suggestions.

Me: Um..alright?

VST: First, you need to tell her it is important for her to do her school work. She needs a desk or someplace to work.

Me: She has a desk but she won’t…

VST: A designated place to work is very important. I also think you need to do some sort of reward system with her. Also, I think it could be beneficial for her to receive some sort of counseling and since she says she has trouble concentrating, maybe you should have her screened for ADHD.

Me: Um..well..

VST: I think simply telling her that it is important that she do good work will have a tremendous impact.

Me: Um..right. Ok.

Before I was selected as Bug’s mother, I made her a scrapbook so that they could share it with her if I was selected.

Yesterday she ripped it into pieces.

The first time I met Bug, we went to the zoo. I bought her a t-shirt, which she put on over her clothes.

Yesterday she cut it all up.

On the one year anniversary of her adoption, I gave her a little angel figurine. 

Yesterday she broke it and threw the pieces on my bed.

On Saturday, Bug took three doughnuts and ate them without permission.

Yesterday, when she was sent to her room as one consequence of her actions, she destroyed the basement, destroyed those mementos, and wrote me several letters saying that she wished I was dead, that she was going to run away, that she hated me more than anyone in the world, and that I was an asshole, a bitch and a bastard.

It was a bad Sunday. On the other hand, I did get amused when she called me an asshole in her letter, but put it in quotation marks.

You are an “asshole”

I’m not quite sure what that means. Was she quoting someone else?

I don’t know, but it helped me to laugh through the tears.

The day I first met you I was so happy because I knew I would finally have a mom. We have had some ups and downs but I still love you even when I get mad and say stuff but I don’t mean it. You know if you had not chose me I would prouble not be in a real family. You have given me alot of stuff my foster parents had not given me most importantly love. I love you so much. Love Bug XOXOXOXO

Bug has some very annoying traits, but nowadays her behavior is pretty decent most of the time. Every so often, though, she switches into defiant mode and I would not be exaggerating to say that I completely can not stand it.

For instance, I bought myself a small bag of chips on Saturday night. Yesterday, I noticed they were gone. When I asked Bug about them, she said, “Oh that bag of Fritos? You told me to put them in the pantry next to the spaghetti sauce.” I had never told her that and when I pointed this out, she went apeshit. She spent most of last night and this morning yelling and stomping and cursing that everyone blames her for everything. She made a big sign and hung it on her door that says, “If your name begins with a “B”, I HATE YOU.” (directed at me of course.) This morning she told me that she wants to be moved out of the house because nobody trusts her and everyone blames her for everything, including the 10 or 15 wrappers we found while looking for the chips yesterday.

Then she admitted to taking the chips.

She is already behind in her school work. She can mark off when assignments are done and then I have to approve them. She marked off six assignment which she did not do. I told her to get out her notebook and let me check off her reading. She says she can’t find the notebook. I told her that her options were to find the notebook or to redo the assignments. She told me just to check them off. I told her that I wasn’t going to do that, that I needed to see her assignments before I would check them off as being done. She screamed at me that she couldn’t find her notebook. I told her that was fine, then she could redo them. She said she was taking a different option, she was just going to fail English. I told her that wasn’t an option, that she had to either find her notebook or redo it.

So now she is laying on the floor refusing to do anything. It’s been over an hour. Every so often she screams in here something. “I’m not doing my work.” “I can fail if I want to.” “I’m going to go to sleep and you can’t stop me.”

It is SO FUCKING ANNOYING.

But I’m just sitting here, ignoring it. She knows the consequences of being behind in her work. No TV, no computer, no radio, no video games. No going anywhere.

So if she wants to make life more difficult for herself, then so be it. But man, it is annoying.

Edited to add: She’s now thrown everything off her desk. Knocked over the diaper stand and thrown all the diapers and pullups everywhere. Knocked over Bubba’s and snowbaby’s bed, the wardrobe, took Snowbaby’s crib, knocked it over and put it in front of the door to try to keep me from getting out. And has been slamming stuff into the wall for the past thirty minutes.

All because she doesn’t want to do her work. Nice, right? Tomorrow is my birthday and I have a social worker visit as well and I have to take the kids to visit their Mom today. And now my basement is destroyed. Woohoo!

Bug: I don’t get this song.

Me: What don’t you get?

Bug: Because he says “tonight you look so pretty” but how does he know? She is in New York.

Me: Because. He thinks she looks pretty all the time, so he doesn’t need to see her to know she looks pretty.

Bug: What if her hair is all messed up and she’s wearing an ugly outfit?

Me: So? He still thinks she is pretty. Like Geo thinks I’m pretty in my snowman pajamas.

Bug: I seriously doubt it.

******

IMFROMBUG: Mommy I am frustrated.

IMFROMBAGGAGE: Why

IMFROMBUG: I can’t find my workbook is it down there?

IMFROMBAGGAGE: No

IMFROMBUG: Nevermind. I found it under Snowbaby’s butt.