Mother-Talk book tour: The No Cry Discipline Solution
In the midst of my long days filled with money troubles, couch pushing, bobby-pin throwing, screaming temper tantrums, and food issues, reading Elizabeth Pantley’s “The No Cry Discipline Solution” made me sit on my bed and bawl my eyes out. Because she gets it.
She gets that parenting is hard. She gets that the behaviors demonstrated by children are often exasperating. And then she helps you deal with it.
Pantley’s focus is not only on giving you practical tips to deal with undesirable behavior, but also helping parents change the way they react to the behavior. Large sections of the book are devoted to dealing with anger. I find that anger is one of the least talked about parts of parenting. I understand why, because I want nothing more than to be the perfect parent with a clean house, fresh-made muffins in the oven, adorable children who rarely misbehave and if they do, I deal with it in a calm, loving, instructional way.
Unfortunately, that is the stuff of sitcoms and not what it is like in most homes. How do you keep from getting angry when a child starts destroying your home seconds after Grey’s Anatomy starts? You don’t. Anger is normal. This book lets you know that it is normal to feel anger at your children, but then goes further and explains to you step by step on how to deal with the anger.
Then, it gives common behavior issues and tells you the Do’s and Don’ts of how to deal with them. I love the way this is presented because you can skip past, “Bath, not wanting one” and go directly to “Hitting, Kicking and Hair Pulling.”
Not only did I like the advice given in the book, but Pantley is careful to include adoptive families. References to the adoption are scattered in a very natural way throughout the book.
This book will make you feel like a better parent. It will make you feel less alone. And who couldn’t use a bit of that?
See what other bloggers are saying about “The No-Cry Discipline Solution” at Mother-Talk.
June 8th, 2007 at 2:11 pm
Okay, I’m going to have to get this book, I think, because I’ve been working on acknowledging that she doesn’t do stuff JUST to make me mad. Heh. Just one question, though? Are time-outs encouraged? Because time-outs make Hannah freak the heck out.
June 8th, 2007 at 2:19 pm
Hi Michelle,
Thank you for your lovely review! I agree with you that many discipline books paint that picture of a “sitcom family” and then when we can’t live up to the picture we feel like failures. I wanted to present an honest idea of what real families look like - so we can all relax and worry less - and then get on with learning some new ways to be more calm and peaceful.
Thank you for your lovely comment about my being inclusive to all kinds of families - all books SHOULD be.
Hugs,
Elizabeth ~^*
PS to Jess —
I think there are 5 pages out of 300 about time out. I offer TONS of ideas because kids are unique and parents are unique and I don’t believe that a “one-size-fits-all” answer exists when it comes to raising children!
June 8th, 2007 at 3:35 pm
Thanks for the review. I am in the process of reading The No-Cry Sleep Solution, and this one sounds good too.
So great to see the author commenting here:)
June 8th, 2007 at 5:46 pm
I need to check out that book. Too bad my library doesn’t stock anything I ever want, and I am in the same financial boat as you right now.
June 8th, 2007 at 6:48 pm
When I first read the no-cry version, I too cried. I read in in the introduction, calm and encouraging words that if what we were doing for a sleep arrangement worked for us….keep doing it and ignore all the other parents in our lives who were telling us to do something else. That was it. What we do does work for us. I never read the rest of the book because I didn’t need to and I’ve been a fan of EP ever since.
She DOES get it.
June 8th, 2007 at 7:47 pm
[…] June 8: The Leery Polyp is ready to send cookies to Elizabeth Pantley. She says, “Each chapter provides the following sections: Think About It. What to Do. What Not to Do. Really, what more do you need? This woman gets it, folks. If you have the slightest question in your mind about discipline, I suggest this book. In the few weeks I’ve had it, it’s been a lifesaver.” And Baggage and Bug is reaching for the Kleenex. She says “The No-Cry Discipline Solution made me sit on my bed and bawl my eyes out. Because she gets it. She gets that parenting is hard. She gets that the behaviors demonstrated by children are often exasperating. And then she helps you deal with it.” […]
June 8th, 2007 at 10:35 pm
Wow, I have to add this book to my wish list. Eventually I’ll have to deal with these issues with godsons, nephews, and our eventual children. Thanks!
June 9th, 2007 at 4:18 pm
I could use a good cry. I’ll get it.
Seriously, I have noticed that when I am in control of myself, my kids do so much better but I need some inspiration and tips because it is really hard to think when I am angry.
It is great to hear that it addresses adoption. That is a HUGE hole in too many parenting books and there really are approaches adoptive parents should not be lifting from nonadoptive parenting techniques.
June 13th, 2007 at 1:35 pm
Wow, you are a good saleswoman! And wonderful that is adoption inclusive: I am so sick of reading parenting books that presume post-pregnancy hormones, having related to your child as a newborn, talking about coming from your tummy and on and on…
July 8th, 2007 at 2:35 pm
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