Shut up, You.
Since I look young and Bug is tall, we always draw attention to ourselves when she is “Mommy”ing me in the store.
I didn’t realize, however, how much attention four children draw. Sometimes I feel like a Duck with four little ducklings following behind me.
And the fact that I look young..well, let’s just say that it took me two hours to get through Walmart today and that was only with one child. Everyone has something to say.
Here are some people I wish would shut up:
The 100 year old man at McDonalds. Yes. I know you think that the baby must be sick or tired because she is having a nervous breakdown. I don’t need you to tell me about what I should give the baby to make her not sick. I don’t want to explain to you that the baby has food issues and putting her high chair away, even though I sat for an extra ten minutes to make sure she wasn’t going to eat anything, is causing her to be upset. Also, could you keep your hands off of her?
And that goes for you..creepy guy at Goodwill. I can understand when an old man likes to pat a baby’s head, but you are in your mid-thirties. Could you please stop grabbing my baby? I mean, I didn’t really mind the first time, but you’ve put your hands on her like five times. Next time you touch her, I’m going to kick you. Or hit you with a baseball bat.
Yes, old woman at Walmart. The baby does have six pounds of groceries piled around her little seat in the cart. If she doesn’t, she’ll scream. A horrible, terrible scream. Do you think it is funny to pretend to take her goldfish away? Because it took me ten minutes to calm her down. Thanks.
So, stuck up woman in the check-out line? You think that people shouldn’t use WIC? That I should of thought about my finances before having four children? That’s nice. Did I mention my children can hear you? I feel like I should explain that they are foster children and get WIC automatically, but you don’t deserve an explanation. And they don’t need you to know their business. I’m glad that you can afford to buy your children’s milk…I’m sure everyone in the store is since you are talking so damn loud.
Yes, she is small. Yes, she is almost two. Yes, she is tiny. No, I don’t know if she was premature. Yes, she’s a little baby.
Yes, I know that you think the fact that he screams MEHHHHH instead of saying his name is not polite. But he doesn’t know his name. And I don’t need a lecture on how I should put him in speech therapy.
Yes. They are all mine. For now anyway. Yes, this one is mine and these guys are staying with me for awhile. Why? Well, that’s none of your business. Yes, they are all with me. All of them. Four of them. I’m 28. Why? Yes, she’s 11. Yes, she’s a baby. Where’s my husband? I don’t know. Do you?
How’d a young girl like me get so many kids? Do you really want an answer to that, Mr. Busy Body?
Because I’m a big slut? Is that what you are implying? Also, yes, I know. I did not pay for the donut yet and I’m letting the baby eat it. Yes, I know you think my kids are “smart” for pointing that out. I’m going to pay for it but right now if the baby doesn’t eat it, she will have a nervous breakdown. We’ve already had two this shopping trip. Do you want her to have another one? I’m sure it is the rule to pay for things first, but sometimes when you are dealing with a child who thinks that if she doesn’t eat the donut now, she might go days without food..well screw the rules.
No. He’s not potty trained. I’m sure he appreciates you discussing his toilet training in public.
Actually no, she’s not glad she is away from her mom. She loves her mom. What a rude thing to say.
Thank you, Mr. Security Money Delivery guy, for picking up the bag of groceries that fell out of my cart. But did you have to say, “How embarassing” when you did? Because that embarassed me.
I’m sorry I don’t know his shoe size. I’m sorry if you are shocked that a mother doesn’t know her son’s shoe size.
No. She’s not too hot. No. She’s not too cold.
And finally, to the woman who, after Butterfly told her “She’s my foster mom. She’s buying me some stuff” leaned over to me and whispered, “What a lucky woman you are. What a blessing these children must be.”
I love you. Seriously.
February 27th, 2007 at 7:19 pm
those people suck.
you’re awesome.
the end.
February 27th, 2007 at 7:20 pm
I love the last woman too. We also get lots of the “lucky” comments and it is almost always aimed at our B. I tire of correcting people, “no WE are the lucky ones.” But every now and then we run into someone who gets it right.
I just spent B’s naptime getting caught up on your family. I used to read your blogger blog. Glad I found you again!
February 27th, 2007 at 7:21 pm
That is a very good way of dealing with dealing with pent up frustration. Sorry people suck so much. *hugs*
February 27th, 2007 at 7:31 pm
After all those comments, I cried when I read the last one. I’m sorry people are so ignorant, Baggage. It’s still no excuse to be just plain fucking rude.
February 27th, 2007 at 7:35 pm
I think I’ve heard them all at one time or another (except for “you’re too young” of course).
I used to have WIC for 3 kids at once and bought everything except the milk at the same time. A case of formula, eggs, cheese, peanut butter, cereal, on and on. It must have totalled $300 and the clerks who knew me and I would laugh about it. Then they helped me carry it all to the car.
One didn’t. She was hateful and I reported her to WIC and the store. WIC saved our lives.
I try to believe that most people are well intentioned and just smile and move on. Sometimes though it’s hard and I bite my tongue bloody..
February 27th, 2007 at 7:41 pm
People are stupid and I kinda wanna make out with the last lady.
You rock. End of story.
February 27th, 2007 at 8:04 pm
I have a step son 17 and I am only 34 so I would always get those looks when he said Mama to me and I have two girls 12 and 6. My 12 year old has ODD/ADHD so going any where is a challenge, I don’t care what people think and when they ask or stare, stare back it makes me feel better. So many times there is sooo much I want to say and my sister has a special needs child and people do her the same way, it’s like damn haven’t you seen a child in a wheel chair before, she hears you even though she can’t see you. God, some people. I feel your pain girl. Rock on, it’s so great what you are doing.
February 27th, 2007 at 9:31 pm
The next time anyone says anything to you about having so many kids and being so young you should say, “Yeah, it runs in my family. My grandma started at 16 and had 10 kids in 14 years. I am trying to break her record”!!!
February 27th, 2007 at 10:02 pm
I know that I’m hormonal right now, but that reading that woman’s comment made me burst out into tears, right here at work.
February 27th, 2007 at 11:19 pm
I don’t know… I think sometimes you need to let these things go. If you are going to foster for a large group of kids (let’s face it- most families consist of less then 4 kids)- you just need to shrug it off. Which I’m sure you try to do- but just from your post, it seems like people are frazzling your nerves more and more.
There are just some situations that draw people’s attention- young looking ladies with a whole gang of kids would be one of them. Hell, I draw all sort of inane comments from people when I walk my dogs (Great Danes- 3). I actually have a t-shirt that answers the basic dumb questions that I get asked EVERY SINGLE TIME I WALK THEM. Perhaps we need a t-shirt for you that answers the basics
February 27th, 2007 at 11:41 pm
You know what I love about your blog? It has really helped open my eyes to a whole other world I’d never really thought much about before. A year or so ago, I may have been one of those people thinking “holy crap, that’s a lot of kids for such a young woman” and maybe being more judgy than anyone should be. Now I look at people with a whole other mindset, and I credit you with that change. You’re doing a great job, no matter what those dumb WalMart shoppers say or think.
February 28th, 2007 at 12:05 am
That woman about the WIC? Oh. My. God. How rude can you be?
February 28th, 2007 at 1:23 am
Wow… just… wow. I can’t believe how rude and inconsiderate, not to mention insensitive and, well… rude people are.
February 28th, 2007 at 1:49 am
Wow. Is it alright if I copy some of that for my new site? Pretty please with a pack of bibs on top?
February 28th, 2007 at 3:30 am
Hey my dear…You are amazing…never forget that! I added a link to your amazon site to my other blog and I hope thats okay with you
*HUGS YOU* and all your little ones.
February 28th, 2007 at 3:46 am
Yikes! Maybe you should get a T-shirt that says “DON’T ASK! I MEAN IT!” in large, threatening letters.
I can’t believe people would have the gull to make those comments and ask those questions! Especially the insulting ones and the ones that were embarassing to the kids!
If they don’t have anything nice to say, they should say nothing at all.
- Angel
February 28th, 2007 at 3:57 am
Man, I’ve had days like that with my foster kids. I have come thisclose to answering the “how did you wind up with all those kids?” question with “I’m a huuuuuuuuuuuge whore. Gotta husband?”
February 28th, 2007 at 5:55 am
What a great post. And (having read the three after this) yes, this is THE place to rant, as you can’t in public. That last woman was wonderful. Thank god. And thankyou for the reminder of just how lucky I am, now with no kid and no dog, that people don’t even notice me and they shut up. For ten yrs of the dog, it was like that. Once in a while I lost it and just yelled at some idiot, when it was the millionth repetition of the same stupid thing or dumb question in two hours. I cannot imagine what it must be like, you and the kids. You need a bazooka. hugs!
February 28th, 2007 at 6:34 am
Hey sweetie…if you get a chance can you send me a password to read the password protected stuff??? I don’t think I ever got one
*HUGS*
February 28th, 2007 at 1:41 pm
I *heart* the last woman.
February 28th, 2007 at 2:42 pm
I am here from Maggie’s blog… this is the first post of yours that I am reading… and I just want to shout “AMEN!”.
I used a harness for the first time on my toddler at the mall the other day 9I used the same one on my oldest at the airport for the same reasons, when she was a toddler), I had forgotten how mush people freak out over it. Actually, you don’t see people using them much anymore.
Here’s my philosophy… It’s better for me to let my child out of the stroller. She experiences some level of independence and isn’t chained to a stroller the whole time, SCREAMING.
I don’t use it like a leash, jerking my kid back to where I want her to be, I let her roam. the best part is I always know where she is at, just a few feet away from me and she can’t run away from us like she usually tries to do… therefore making my ‘mall experience” better. I’m not holding a screaming kid who just wants to walk around, one that is practically climbing over me, and I’m also not a neurotic mess that I am going to lose her because she is small and fast, LOL!
Best of all, I’m not screaming too, yelling at her to stop running or to stop climbing on things because as i said, she is never more than a few feet away from me, always with me watching.
I have learned I am damed if i do, damed if I don’t… because either way- semi-quiet and content toddler on a harness, or screaming toddler in my arms/confined to a stroller…
Either way, I am getting dirty looks. To which I give them all the finger, mentally. you have to do what is right for you, and I love that you kept t together with these idiots because I’m not sure I would have.
Phew, what a comment, huh? Love your blog… bookmarking!
February 28th, 2007 at 8:23 pm
People suck!
You’re wonderful and although it is stressful welcome to the club
We have 5 kids total. 4 here
The Eldest 12
The Tomboy 9
The Diva 9
Queenie almost 3
and 1 in Alaska that we don’t get to see, she’s 7.
I’m 28 and my hubby works 7 days a week so I cart the 4 around with me everywhere and get all kids of looks and comments.
February 28th, 2007 at 10:01 pm
That was the most perfect post. I have thought/felt all the same things and would love to say some very nasty things to some very rude people. I also bite my tongue, need to set a good example. People can be very nosy/rude but really that is their problem. I always think that they must have very limited experiences in that they can’t open up their minds to different possibilities (ie. thinking we are bad parents that don’t know what birth control is). You are doing an awesome job, don’t let anyone make you feel differently.
March 1st, 2007 at 3:40 pm
That was a perfect post. I wish i could say that I can’t believe you got ALL the stereotypical rude comments. But I can.
That last woman is some kind of angel. I don’t think we’ve ever gotten such a wonderful comment like that. Though sometimes people do get it that it’s not the kids that are the lucky ones.
Blogging is much better than punching out random strangers. And cathartic for all of us!
March 3rd, 2007 at 1:52 pm
Walmart is always a bitch to get through for us, as well. We have the added fun of being a family of many colors with a large age gap. And while I don’t look as young as you, I constantly have people telling me that I am too young to be their mom (in front of them).
But my most recent favorite comment was when one coworker told another coworker that I have 10 kids, and the woman replied, with a snarl, “Why?!”
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