Well, if you are sitting on your computer anxiously refreshing to see if I am going to graduate (Hi Mom!) then here is the latest…

First off, how can grades not be due until Monday night? When graduation is tomorrow?? What, they let you walk and then tell you, “Just kidding!! We need our gown back please.”

So I’ve secured B’s in two classes. I’m waiting on grades in the two classes which do not keep online gradebooks (all my classes are online, so we usually get our grades back through an online gradebook.) One class is math, in which the professor told me that I have a B right now, pending the written portion of my final. (Which I think I did good on.) The other is womens studies, where my gradebook looks like the BDH right now..big and empty. I’m not quite sure why my grades in that class weren’t updated, and I have never gotten an answer from my professor. But finally she is responding to my emails where I have resent all the papers I have written (this is a no test class..all writing) and detailed forums which I didn’t have grades for, etc.

And finally, she said, “Baggage, you WILL pass this course.” (And I’m sure she muttered, “Damn insensitive kid. It is Friday night!”
(I hope she doesn’t read this blog. If so, LOVED the course. LOVE feminism. I am not weaker than a man. Frailty is a myth. I got it.)

So, I need a 2.5 GPA this semester to graduate.

Which means I either need to get a B in math and a D in WS or a C in math and a C in WS.

So I’m waiting for confirmation on either one right now.

This is tough for me, because leaving college the first time was a killer to my self-esteem, and when I went back to college I actually cried in the parking lot in my dad’s arms because I was so scared. Somehow in my mind I had equated the fact that I left college as a indictment of my intelligence, rather than a result of untreated depression and anxiety and a panic disorder.

I used to wonder why I felt somewhat intelligent, when I obviously couldn’t be because I couldn’t get my degree.

Now I’m this close, and I’m still nervous. I know this piece of paper won’t mean much..I’m not planning on changing anything in my life after I graduate.

But it will mean a lot to my mental health.

Click for Final Grades. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh.

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This entry was posted on Friday, December 15th, 2006 at 10:52 pm and is filed under Uncategorized, depression, anxiety, Education. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.