What is jack off-What does JACKING OFF stand for?

Or any of the other slang words, abbreviations and acronyms listed here at Internet Slang? Your resource for web acronyms, web abbreviations and netspeak. Tell a friend about InternetSlang. Add an acronym - Sitemap - Random Slang. JERK 2.

What is jack off

What is jack off

What is jack off

Other terms relating to 'masturbate':. Michael Jackson Michael Jordan Marijuana. PSA 9. Brian had the blue balls so bad he had to jack off as soon as he got home. In addition to the idioms beginning with jack.

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What is jack off years ago, a child might have been told that masturbation What is jack off cause insanity, acne, sterility, or other such nonsense. Anna Borges. Maybe you want it in a piece of bread for added grip, I don't know. Sperm Wars: The Science of Sex. Also What is jack off us on Facebookbecause our page makes a great "just got walked in on Meaning of erect watching porn" cut-to. Retrieved 28 April Hollywood V. I was really diggin' at my folks who, when catching me at it, would talk in loud voices in the corridor outside my room. Gritty Woman At which point, your only hope is to become turned on by tapeworms. Your hand is one thing in a world of many things. A somewhat controversial ejaculation control technique is to put pressure on the perineum, about halfway between the scrotum and the anus, just before ejaculating. Note: Messer's and Walker's article cannot be protected by copyright. My girlfriend had me wear her silky panties one time and I really dug it, so I tried masturbating in them too with her permission obviously. Retrieved 12 November Orion Pictures "Live with me if you want to cum.

Top definition.

  • Masturbation is the sexual stimulation of one's own genitals for sexual arousal or other sexual pleasure, usually to the point of orgasm.
  • In addition to the idioms beginning with jack.
  • To help you get some new ideas, BuzzFeed asked people of all ages, genders, and sexualities to describe the nitty-gritty of how they actually masturbate.

Or any of the other slang words, abbreviations and acronyms listed here at Internet Slang? Your resource for web acronyms, web abbreviations and netspeak. Tell a friend about InternetSlang. Add an acronym - Sitemap - Random Slang. JERK 2. WBT 4. SKITZ 5. KTF 6.

NAB 7. PSA 9. Privacy Policy. Search website. Other terms relating to 'jack':. Full Metal Jacket. Stupid person, idiot. Jack-Booted Thug. Jack Daniel's. Jacketed Hollow Point bullet. Jack the Lad Swing band. Jack Off Material. Michael Jackson Michael Jordan Marijuana. Other terms relating to 'masturbate':.

Maybe you want it in a piece of bread for added grip, I don't know. Archived from the original on 13 June Self-abuse and self-pollution were common in early modern times and are still found in modern dictionaries. While masturbation is the formal word for this practice, many other expressions are in common use. Try to imagine some sound effects, like a grunt of consternation, a chipmunk-like tittering, and the bass growl of a tired and hungry bear. This section may be too long and excessively detailed.

What is jack off

What is jack off

What is jack off

What is jack off

What is jack off

What is jack off. Nearby words

This is consistent with a paper that found the strength of these correlations increased with increasing frequency of ejaculation. A study at Tabriz Medical University found that ejaculation reduces swollen nasal blood vessels, freeing the airway for normal breathing. The mechanism is through stimulation of the sympathetic nervous system and is long lasting. The study author suggests: "It can be done [from] time-to-time to alleviate the congestion and the patient can adjust the number of intercourses or masturbations depending on the severity of the symptoms.

Solo masturbation is a sexual activity that is nearly free of risk of sexually transmitted infections. Support for such a view and for making masturbation part of the American sex education curriculum, led to the dismissal of US Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders during the Clinton administration.

Some European Union nations promote masturbation in their sex education curricula. Sexual climax leaves an individual in a relaxed and contented state, frequently followed by drowsiness and sleep.

Some professionals consider masturbation equivalent to a cardiovascular workout. This limitation can serve as encouragement to follow through with physical therapy sessions to help improve endurance. In general, sex slightly increases energy consumption. Those who insert objects as aids to masturbation risk them becoming stuck e.

Men and women can fall prey to this problem. A woman went into a German hospital with two pencils in her bladder, having pierced her urethra after inserting them during masturbation.

A male whose penis is bluntly traumatized during intercourse or masturbation may, rarely, sustain a penile fracture [83] [84] [85] or develop Peyronie's disease. The symptoms last for up to a week. Compulsive masturbation and other compulsive behaviors can be signs of an emotional problem, which may need to be addressed by a mental health specialist.

Masturbation among adolescents contributes to their developing a sense of mastery over sexual impulses, and it has a role in the physical and emotional development of prepubescents and pubescents. If such play becomes all-consuming, it may be necessary to look for an underlying cause of this, such as the child being tense and in need of comfort, or that others may be overreacting and thus reinforcing the habit.

It could be caused by a low-grade urinary tract or yeast infection. The child may be overstimulated and in need of soothing, or understimulated and bored. Alongside many other factors—such as medical evidence, age-inappropriate sexual knowledge, sexualized play and precocious or seductive behavior—excessive masturbation may be an indicator of sexual abuse.

The sexual stimulation of one's own genitals has been interpreted variously by different religions , the subject of legislation, social controversy, activism, as well as intellectual study in sexology.

Social views regarding masturbation taboo have varied greatly in different cultures, and over history. There are depictions of male and female masturbation in prehistoric rock paintings around the world. From the earliest records, the ancient Sumerians had very relaxed attitudes toward sex. The ancient Greeks also regarded masturbation as a normal and healthy substitute for other forms of sexual pleasure. Among non-western perspectives on the matter, some teachers and practitioners of Traditional Chinese medicine, Taoist meditative and martial arts say that masturbation can cause a lowered energy level in men.

Within the African Congo Basin , the Aka , Ngandu , Lesi , brbs , and Ituri ethnic groups all lack a word for masturbation in their languages and are confused by the concept of masturbation.

Onanism is a hybrid term which combines the proper noun, Onan , with the suffix, -ism. Paradoxically, a crime that was secret and private became a popular and fashionable topic. Attention increasingly shifted to the prevention and cure of this illness which perilously sapped men of their virility []. In , he published L'Onanisme , his own comprehensive medical treatise on the purported ill-effects of masturbation.

Though Tissot's ideas are now considered conjectural at best, his treatise was presented as a scholarly, scientific work in a time when experimental physiology was practically nonexistent. Immanuel Kant regarded masturbation as a violation of the moral law. In The Metaphysics of Morals , he made the a posteriori argument that "such an unnatural use of one's sexual attribute" strikes "everyone upon his thinking of it" as "a violation of one's duty to himself", and suggested that it was regarded as immoral even to give it its proper name unlike the case of the similarly undutiful act of suicide.

He went on, however, to acknowledge that "it is not so easy to produce a rational demonstration of the inadmissibility of that unnatural use", but ultimately concluded that its immorality lay in the fact that "a man gives up his personality … when he uses himself merely as a means for the gratification of an animal drive".

By Jean Esquirol had declared in his Des Maladies Mentales that masturbation was "recognized in all countries as a cause of insanity. Sylvester Graham were among those who proposed that circumcision and eating a bland, meatless diet would curb masturbation. Medical attitudes toward masturbation began to change towards the end of the 19th century when H. Havelock Ellis , in his seminal work Studies in the Psychology of Sex , questioned Tissot's premises.

In , Sigmund Freud addressed masturbation in his Three Essays on the Theory of Sexuality and associated it with addictive substances. He described the masturbation of infants at the period when the infant is nursing, at four years of age, and at puberty. At the same time, the supposed medical condition of hysteria —from the Greek hystera or uterus—was being treated by what would now be described as medically administered or medically prescribed masturbation for women.

In , the meetings of the Vienna psychoanalytic circle discussed the moral or health effects of masturbation, [] but its publication on the matter was suppressed. Concerning Specific Forms of Masturbation is a essay by another Austrian , the psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Wilhelm Reich. In the seven and a half page essay Reich accepts the prevalent notions on the roles of unconscious fantasy and the subsequent emerging guilt feelings which he saw as originating from the act itself.

By , Dr. Thomas Szasz stated in the shift in scientific consensus : [56] [57] [] "Masturbation: the primary sexual activity of mankind. In the nineteenth century it was a disease; in the twentieth, it's a cure. Not self-satisfaction, but feelings closely correlated with it need among others help through counseling, respectively therapy! In the s Michel Foucault was arguing masturbation taboo was "rape by the parents of the sexual activity of their children".

Joycelyn Elders , mentioned as an aside that it should be mentioned in school curricula that masturbation was safe and healthy, she was forced to resign, [] with opponents asserting that she was promoting the teaching of how to masturbate. Both practices and cultural views of masturbation have continued to evolve in the 21st Century, partly because the contemporary lifeworld is increasingly technical.

Teledildonics is a growing field. Masturbation has been depicted as a not-uncomplicated part of "Love in the 21st Century" in the BBC drama by the same name. Male masturbation may be used as a method to obtain semen for third party reproductive procedures such as artificial insemination and in vitro fertilisation which may involve the use of either partner or donor sperm. At a sperm bank or fertility clinic, a special room or cabin may be set aside so that semen may be produced by male masturbation for use in fertility treatments such as artificial insemination.

The facility at a sperm bank used for this purpose is known as a masturbatorium US or men's production room UK. A bed or couch is usually provided for the man, and pornographic films or other material may be made available. In the UK in , a leaflet was issued by the National Health Service in Sheffield carrying the slogan, "an orgasm a day keeps the doctor away".

It also says: "Health promotion experts advocate five portions of fruit and veg a day and 30 minutes' physical activity three times a week. What about sex or masturbation twice a week? Its authors have said that for too long, experts have concentrated on the need for "safe sex" and committed relationships while ignoring the principal reason that many people have sex.

The leaflet is entitled Pleasure. Instead of promoting teenage sex, it could encourage young people to delay losing their virginity until they are certain they will enjoy the experience, said one of its authors.

The Spanish region of Extremadura launched a programme in to encourage "sexual self-exploration and the discovery of self-pleasure" in people aged from 14 to The initiative, whose slogan is, "Pleasure is in your own hands" has angered local right-wing politicians and challenged traditional Roman Catholic views. Officials from the neighbouring region of Andalucia have expressed an interest in copying the programme. The text book Palliative care nursing: quality care to the end of life states, "Terminally ill people are likely no different from the general population regarding their masturbation habits.

Palliative care practitioners should routinely ask their patients if anything interferes in their ability to masturbate and then work with the patient to correct the problem if it is identified.

The prosecution of masturbation has varied at different times, from virtually unlimited acceptance to complete illegality. In a 17th-century law code for the Puritan colony of New Haven, Connecticut " blasphemers , homosexuals and masturbators" were eligible for the death penalty. Often, masturbation in the sight of others is prosecuted under a general law such as public indecency , though some laws make specific mention of masturbation.

The penalty may be up to 14 days in prison, depending on a range of circumstantial factors. In , the Supreme Court of Alabama upheld a state law criminalizing the distribution of sex-toys. In many jurisdictions, masturbation by one person of another is considered digital penetration which may be illegal in some cases, such as when the other person is a minor.

There is debate whether masturbation should be promoted in correctional institutions. Restrictions on pornography, used to accompany masturbation, are common in American correctional facilities. Connecticut Department of Corrections officials say that these restrictions are intended to avoid a hostile work environment for correctional officers.

Religions vary broadly in their views of masturbation, from considering it completely impermissible as in Roman Catholicism [] to encouraging and refining it as, for example, in some Neotantra and Taoist sexual practices. The Sambia tribe of New Guinea has rituals and rites of passage surrounding manhood which lasts several years and involves ejaculation through fellatio often several times a day. Semen is valued and masturbation is seen as a waste of semen and is therefore frowned upon even though frequent ejaculation is encouraged.

The capacity and need to ejaculate is developed or nurtured for years from an early age but through fellatio so that it can be consumed rather than wasted. Semen is ingested for strength and is considered in the same line as mothers' milk.

Other cultures have rites of passage into manhood that culminate in the first ejaculation of a male, usually by the hands of a tribal elder. In some tribes such as the Agta, Philippines, stimulation of the genitals is encouraged from an early age. The ceremony culminates in a public ejaculation before a celebration.

The ejaculate is saved in a wad of animal skin and worn later to help conceive children. Even though many medical professionals and scientists have found large amounts of evidence that masturbating is healthy [55] [58] [59] [60] [61] [62] [67] [64] and commonly practiced by males and females, stigma on the topic still persists today.

In November , Matthew Burdette, after being filmed masturbating, committed suicide. In an article published by the nonprofit organization Planned Parenthood Federation of America it was reported that: [].

Proving that these ancient stigmas against masturbation are still alive and felt by women and men, researchers in found that half of the adult women and men who masturbate feel guilty about it Laumann, et al. Another study in found that adolescent young men are still frequently afraid to admit that they masturbate Halpern, et al. In popular music, there are various songs that deal with masturbation. The recording " She Bop " by Cyndi Lauper , was one of the first fifteen songs ever required to carry Parental Advisory sticker for sexual content.

The song "Masturbates" by rock group Mindless Self Indulgence also deals with the concept of auto-erotic activity in a punk framework. The schoolboys' novel Eric, or, Little by Little was a tract against masturbation, but did not mention the subject except extremely obliquely as " Kibroth-Hattaavah " a place mentioned in the Old Testament where those that lusted after meat were buried.

In October , an important censorship case was held in Australia, leading to the banning of Philip Roth's novel Portnoy's Complaint in that country due to its masturbation references. The censorship led to public outcry at the time. Further portrayals and references to masturbation have occurred throughout literature, and the practice itself has even contributed to the production of literature among certain writers, such as Wolfe , Balzac , Flaubert and John Cheever.

In the Seinfeld episode " The Contest ", [] the show's main characters enter into a contest to see who can go the longest without masturbating. Because Seinfeld ' s network, NBC , did not think masturbation was a suitable topic for prime-time television, the word is never used. Instead, the subject is described using a series of euphemisms.

The Masturbating Bear would touch his diaper to simulate masturbation. Prior to leaving Late Night to become host of The Tonight Show , Conan O'Brien originally retired the character due to concerns about its appropriateness in an earlier time slot.

It was clear by then that Conan O'Brien was being removed from the show and he spent his last shows pushing the envelope with skits that typically would not be appropriate for the Tonight Show , one of which was the Masturbating Bear.

In March the UK broadcaster Channel 4 was to air a season of television programmes about masturbation, called Wank Week. Wank is a Briticism for masturbate. The series came under public attack from senior television figures, and was pulled amid claims of declining editorial standards and controversy over the channel's public service broadcasting credentials. However, its constituent films may yet be shown by the channel at a later date.

In Talking Cock by comedian Richard Herring , the sketch is used to ridicule those who condemn masturbation and sex for any purpose other than procreation. In American Pie , Nadia Shannon Elizabeth discovers Jim's Jason Biggs pornography collection and while half-naked sitting on his bed masturbates to it.

In American Reunion , Noah Eugene Levy attempts to explain the potential joys and difficulties of Jim explaining masturbation to his future son. Depictions of male and female masturbation are common in pornography, including gay pornography.

Am Abend , one of the earliest pornographic films that have been collected at the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction , [] [] starts with a female masturbation scene. Masturbatory behavior has been documented in a very wide range of species. Individuals of some species have been known to create tools for masturbation purposes. From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. Redirected from Jack off.

Sexual stimulation of one's own genitals. For the Biblical origin of the term "onanism", see Onan. It is not to be confused with jacking. See also: Fingering sexual act. Gerda Wegener's artwork "Les delassements d'Eros" "The recreations of Eros" , which depicts sexual activity by two women.

Johann Nepomuk Geiger , watercolor , See also: Non-penetrative sex. Further information: Hypersexuality. Main article: History of masturbation. This section has multiple issues. Please help improve it or discuss these issues on the talk page. Learn how and when to remove these template messages. The examples and perspective in this section may not represent a worldwide view of the subject. You may improve this section , discuss the issue on the talk page , or create a new article , as appropriate.

January Learn how and when to remove this template message. This section may be too long and excessively detailed. Please consider summarizing the material while citing sources as needed. January Main article: Religious views on masturbation. See also: Religion and sexuality and Sperm in vain Judaism. Main article: Masturbation in animals. Medicine portal Sexuality portal. Who Masturbates? Why Do People Masturbate? Retrieved 17 August The Psychology of Human Sexuality.

Masturbation refers to all solo forms of self-stimulation focusing on the genitals. Masturbation practices vary widely depending upon the individual's body and personal preferences. For instance, masturbation among women may involve manipulation of the clitoris and labia, stimulation of the breasts, or vaginal penetration with a sex toy.

Of course, men sometimes utilize sex toys too e. Sexuality Education Theory And Practice. Bockting, Walter O. Despite the scientific evidence indicating that masturbation is generally a normal variant of sexual expression and that it does not seem to have a causal relationship with sexual pathology, negative attitudes about masturbation persist and it remains stigmatized. Eugene 6 December In Ollendick, Thomas H. Encyclopedia of Clinical Child and Pediatric Psychology.

Note: Messer's and Walker's article cannot be protected by copyright. July—December Journal of Forensic Medicine and Toxicology. Archived from the original on 21 August Animal Homosexuality: A Biosocial Perspective. Cambridge University Press. Archived from the original on 5 September Retrieved 29 May Martin's Press.

Retrieved 21 October The Fantasy Factor. George Weidenfeld and Nicolson Limited. Journal of Social History. Charles Jason Lee. Archived from the original on 19 February Retrieved 12 October Body Modification Ezine. Retrieved 29 July International Journal of Surgery Case Reports.

Archived from the original on 1 January Retrieved 15 January Retrieved 27 August Psychology Today. Human Sexuality: From Cells to Society. Cengage Learning. Retrieved 18 May The G spot and other discoveries about human sexuality. New York: Holt, Rinehart, and Winston. Archived from the original on 13 June Indiana Daily Student. Retrieved 30 March The occurrence of the orgasm is indicated to the observer by the machine being worked for a few seconds with uncontrollable rapidity.

This sound is said to be frequently heard in large French workrooms, and it is part of the duty of the superintendents of the rooms to make the girls sit properly. Chicago Women's Liberation Union. Retrieved 18 November Archived from the original on 6 March Retrieved 11 October WebMD, Inc. Laura M. Carpenter NYU Press. Retrieved 9 October Cohen Retrieved 8 October Archived from the original on 22 May Retrieved 7 August April Ceylon Med. Psychiatry and Clinical Neurosciences.

Archives of Sexual Behavior. Brown, MD. Merck Manuals Consumer Version. Retrieved 26 July In Longe, Jacqueline L. Detroit, Mich. November [].

European Journal of Paediatric Neurology. Infantile masturbation is considered a variant of normal behaviour. Hamish; Watson, Stuart 4 October Journal of Psychopharmacology. Larry Psychology: Modules for Active Learning. Sperm Wars: The Science of Sex. Diane Books Publishing Company. November Animal Behaviour.

February Current Directions in Psychological Science. Sexuality and Sexual Disorders". June Journal of Religion and Health. Social change in attitudes toward masturbation has occurred at the professional level only since and at the popular level since Ontario Consultants on Religious Tolerance. The Second Sin. Retrieved 30 June Masturbation: the primary sexual activity of mankind. The pained history of self pleasure". Retrieved 27 June The publication of Kinsey's and Masters and Johnson's research revealed that masturbation was both common and harmless.

Many studies have since confirmed this basic truth, revealing in addition that masturbation is neither a substitute for "real" sex nor a facilitator of risky sex.

Gender and Sexuality". Introduction to Psychology: Gateways to Mind and Behavior 14 ed. Is there any way that masturbation can cause harm? Seventy years ago, a child might have been told that masturbation would cause insanity, acne, sterility, or other such nonsense. Enlightened parents are well aware of this fact. Still, many children are punished or made to feel guilty for touching their genitals. This is unfortunate because masturbation itself is harmless.

Typically, its only negative effects are feelings of fear, guilt, or anxiety that arise from learning to think of masturbation as "bad" or "wrong.

Summer Stengers and Van Neck follow the illness to its fairly abrupt demise; they liken the shift to finally seeing the emperor without clothes as doctors began to doubt masturbation as a cause of illness at the turn of the twentieth century. Once doubt set in, scientists began to accumulate statistics about the practice, finding that a large minority and then a large majority of people masturbated.

Masturbation quickly lost its hold over the medical community, and parents followed in making masturbation an ordinary part of first childhood and then human sexuality. In the collection's introductory chapter, Eli Coleman describes how Kinsey's research half a century ago was the first in a series of studies to challenge widely prevalent cultural myths relating to the 'harmful' effects of masturbation, revealing the practice to be both common and non-pathological.

Subsequent research, outlined by Coleman in this chapter, has shown masturbation to be linked to healthy sexual development, sexual well-being in relationships, self-esteem and bodily integrity an important sexual right. As such, the promotion and de-stigmatization of the practice continue to be important strategies within sexology for the achievement of healthy sexual development and well-being. The collection concludes with two surveys among US college students.

The first of these was based on limited quantitative questions relating to masturbation. The findings suggest that masturbation is not a substitute for sexual intercourse, as has often been posited, but is associated with increased sexual interest and greater number of partners.

The second of these surveys asks whether masturbation could be useful in treating low sexual desire, by examining the relationship between masturbation, libido and sexual fantasy. Brown, MD June Like monkeys and Pokemon , masturbation is evolving. Our ancestors used to put a stick covered in termites in their proto-dicks to get off. Nowadays, we have robots that will give us space-age handies with a kung fu grip and lube designed by NASA, I assume.

As with all things, though, we must ask: Is newer better? Sure, if you're dying of a terrible disease, you can go to a hospital for treatment with modern medicine, but some people still like the idea of using herbs to clear up a sucking chest wound. Who knows what might work? So with that in mind, I have decided to put my very body on the line to help you , fellow jackers, determine just what is the best method of wanking. Do the olden ways stand up to today's modern superjackoffery?

Science will tell us! I don't have a degree in anthropology or dick tuggery, but I am an amateur in both. It is therefore my nonprofessional belief that the origin of masturbation is connected to the right wrist. Even for you lefties. Back in the day, you wouldn't dare touch your precious genitals with your sinister devil's paw.

Only the right hand would do. So we can agree that masturbation probably first happened with a bare hand -- probably well before the s, if you can believe it. Maybe one day, our monkey ancestor was sitting in his tree, lounging under a palm frond, enjoying some delicious papaya, when some of it slipped and landed on his little monkey dinky. He reached for it, grabbed both together, pulled, and suddenly we had nuclear power, iPhones, and Hot Pockets.

As it happens, I have tried this old chestnut myself once or twice, but for science, I did it again. So I hope that right now, you're picturing me literally stopping my writing of this article right here, pushing my chair back a little bit, pulling out the mayo, and starting to churn my own butter.

Try to imagine some sound effects, like a grunt of consternation, a chipmunk-like tittering, and the bass growl of a tired and hungry bear. Did you picture it?

Anyway, I'm sure nearly all of you are aware that this is aces. It's hard to beat the good cheer brought about by your own hand. It knows just what you like, and if you're not too callused or maybe you are and you dig texture , then it feels just fine, too. For you ladies, try to imagine something you really enjoy the feel of, repeatedly and rhythmically working your lady flower. As many fellows will tell you, about a year or two after you've mastered the hand technique, your mind starts wandering.

Your hand is one thing in a world of many things. Probably, like, things. What would those other things feel like if they were jerking your gherkin? So you start experimenting. Maybe it's Halloween and you have a pumpkin handy. Maybe your beanbag chair sprung a leak and has an appropriately-sized orifice barfing beans in your room.

Maybe you have a slice of ham. I'm not saying there's anything inherently sexy about ham. I'm not saying you can't use turkey, or even tofurky, if you swing that way. Still, an industrious-yet-lonely man with a boner is basically a sexual MacGyver.

If you're not picking up what I'm putting down yet, allow me to elucidate. For this particular solo mission to Dribblesville, you need to take a slice of deli ham -- and in this case, you don't necessarily want it super thin -- and maybe pop it in the microwave for 10 seconds.

Maybe you want it in a piece of bread for added grip, I don't know. I don't want to be the conductor on this train to penile trichinosis; I'm just sharing information. Point is, you wrap warm meat around your cyclopean flesh carrot, and strum away like Clapton performing his final concert. Have you smelled deli ham lately? Give it a try. Then rub it aggressively on your crotch for a few minutes.

The porcine groin bouquet is a bit sweet and a bit musky -- kind of like what you might expect from a corpse, or a Kardashian when no cameras are around. I can't recommend it. Fleshlight has apparently sold over seven million units worldwide. There's a reason Fleshlight hasn't hired me as an ad man. That aside, the inside of a Fleshlight is soft, squishy, and textured with various nubs, swirls, and ridges. Fleshlight It's like if Ed Gein got into porn and collected just one body part.

Many people claim the Fleshlight is even better than the real thing, at which point we're left to consider whether by "real thing" they mean their hand -- which of course they don't mean -- or an actual human vagina -- which, sadly, they do mean. The existential sadness of anyone claiming that a disembodied rubber vag-sleeve is better than having sex with another person is something no Cracked columnist can dare take on without some serious alcohol to fuel the poetic ennui that will follow.

I refuse the challenge, because I have masters to bate and a soul that still glows a little when you say nice things to it. Maybe one day, if I ever willingly take a nap on a back alley mattress and start agreeing with things Donald Trump says, I'll be able to revisit this idea, but until then, no.

No sir. Now, this isn't to say a Fleshlight is an unpleasant experience. If you have the chance, you go ahead and pork that little rubber fun hole. It's not bad at all. I would argue that a Fleshlight is to sex what Taco Bell is to a Mexican banquet. It's not really in the ballpark, and sure, some snotty people who think they're better than you will make fun of it. But you know what? When you're drunk at 2 a. The major downside to the Fleshlight is that it's a lot like manual labor.

Masturbating with your hand affords you that flesh-to-flesh connection. It's not work; it's personal grooming. You're cleaning your pipes. Gritty Woman At which point, your only hope is to become turned on by tapeworms.

JACK OFF | meaning in the Cambridge English Dictionary

In addition to the idioms beginning with jack. Also called knave. Also called jackstone. Slang : Vulgar. Also called jack crosstree. Lawn Bowling. Also called clock jack. I jacked my shoulder when I fell.

Who, or what, is the namesake of this autumn tradition? Idioms every man jack , everyone without exception: They presented a formidable opposition, every man jack of them. Also called: jackstone one of the pieces used in the game of jacks.

US a slang word for money. Also: jacklight US and Canadian to hunt fish or game by seeking them out or dazzling them with a flashlight. See also jack in , jacks , jack up. Word Origin for jack C16 jakke , variant of Jankin , diminutive of John.

Word Origin for jack C from Portuguese jaca ; see jackfruit. Word Origin for jack C from Old French jaque , of uncertain origin.

What is jack off

What is jack off

What is jack off