Bug has bugs.

Lice.

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

I recently got a new purse that is PINK! and has a little heart charm on the side. Snowbaby has a habit of going in my purse and taking things out. She’s thrown my keys out at Walmart and hidden my debit card in the CDROM drive of my computer.

So when I saw her going into my purse the other day, I wasn’t too thrilled.

“No! Snowbaby! Get out of my purse!”

She looked up, her little fist clutched around the heart charm.

“Look Mommy! I’m holding your heart!”

With all that is going on, I missed doing a review of this product and I feel really bad about it.

The Scrubbing Bubbles Action Scrubber is a great little product that got me through my move-out cleaning. It is like a sponge, but with a handle. There are disposable pads that attach right to the bottom of it, and have the cleaner built in. All you need to do is put on a new pad, and go to work. The handle is great because it keeps the dirt and the cleaner off your hands. It also made cleaning the tub a lot easier because you have something hard to grip. And when you are done cleaning, just throw the disposable pad away.

Really neat little cleaning tool. You can get a coupon or more information here.

The thing is, I’m not placing all the blame on myself.

I am saying that I did things, A LOT of things, wrong. And the biggest one was not being clear in what I wanted or needed. I expected him to read my mind, and then became furious when he didn’t do exactly what I wanted or needed. But I never told him what I wanted or needed, and then I held a grudge that he wasn’t a mind reader.

Should he have been able to figure some of the stuff out on his own? Maybe, but he also offered things in a different way than what I was thinking. If he didn’t buy groceries, but instead paid for my car repairs, wasn’t that the same thing?

As my therapist said, “It is not about blaming yourself, it is finding opportunities to better yourself.”

And that is what I am doing.

I’ve been recently thinking about shutting down my blog.

Why?

Because I haven’t been writing about what I really want to write about for fear of being judged.

Isn’t that stupid? Fear of being judged on my own blog.

But that is what people do, isn’t it? We are a bunch of judgemental people. Oh wait, see, that was judgemental.

Let me start again. I didn’t want you to judge me. But in realizing that, I realized that I was a really judgemental person.

I also assume too much and I think people should read my mind.

I do.

I get upset when people make a comment on this blog that shows they didn’t get what I was trying to say. I judge them for judging me and then I judge myself for not being a good enough writer so that my point was easy to understand.

I judge Geo all the time. I judged him for not paying for Christmas presents. In fact, I called him out in front of all of you for not paying for Christmas presents in a post about how he did a lot of asshole things.

But did I ever ask him to pay for the presents? Or did I get up at 4 am and take Callie shopping and buy most of the Christmas presents myself without ever asking what he thought we should buy? Did I make it clear that I wanted Christmas..my first Christmas with all four kids..to be the way I wanted it? I never told him what I wanted and then I spent the next seven months sulking because he didn’t do what I wanted, even though he had no fucking clue that is what I wanted.

Instead of communicating my wishes and desires and hopes, I sat around like a fucking martyr. Bitching and complaining at every opportunity, instead of making it clear what I would like. I never gave him a chance to do what I asked, because I never made it clear. And if he did try to do something, I usually would step in and say that he wasn’t doing it right, because after all, if the towels weren’t folded the way I wanted them, then it was pointless and he was useless.

How many times a day did I do that? To anyone? How many times a day do we judge people for not doing what we think they should do or what we would do?

Geo isn’t perfect and neither am I. But I never should have judged him the way I did, and I shouldn’t have opened him up to judging here, especially since I was demanding he figure out exactly what I want and do it in the way I wanted without ever telling him what that was.

And I’m not going to shut down the blog, and I’m going to write about things that I know will cause me to be judged.

But in the meantime, I’m going to try to stop being so damn judgemental. Because really, all that it is is an attempt to make myself look better than someone else, and who the hell cares? I am who I am, take it or leave it.

The winner of the Recycline toothbrush is KIM! (comment #9) Congrats Kim! Email me at baggageandbug@yahoo.com with your mailing address.

This next thing is one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen. It is called the List Caddy. It is a little gizmo that clips to the front of your shopping cart and holds your list, coupons and a pen/pencil. SO COOL. It also has magnets on the back so you can keep it on the fridge when you aren’t at the store. I am in love with this thing. I have tried to figure out how to hold all my coupons, list, and pen. I tried the clipboard thing, but the kids would just draw all over it. I tried keeping things in my purse, but I would always forget the coupons. And if I tried to put it in the basket, Snowbaby would try to eat it or throw it on the floor. This is perfect.

Seriously, this is one of the coolest things I’ve found for shopping. It is only $4.99 and comes in six colors. And I have a red one to give away! Just leave a comment on this post and I’ll draw a random winner.

Finally, Snowbaby has been invited to compete in our state beauty pageant. She is looking for people who want to sponsor her. Anyone who makes a donation towards her entry fees or outfits will receive a personally drawn picture from Snowbaby herself. Anyone who makes a donation of $25 or more will get a copy of Legally Blonde the Musical on DVD (the MTV singalong version.)

Interested? Email me at baggageandbug@yahoo.com.

And finally:

Social worker: Well hello Snowbaby!

Snowbaby: I AM WEARING PANTIES! ON MY BUTT!!

(P.S. I have a pair of Cubs/Cardinals tickets for the 8/10 game. $215 which includes next day shipping)

Aurelia said:

I assume that regulations cary from state to state, and from province to province?

Only because I know some other foster parents and they don’t have to go through that kind of scrutiny, like to the level of haircuts.

I am sure that they do vary, although I think the haircut rule is pretty standard throughout the US.

Other foster parents, do you have to get permission from birth parents or social workers to give your foster children haircuts?

Carlton said:

Permanency can’t be bought or sold or even legislated. You have it already. Especially with a person as old as Callie don’t worry about the ministrations of beauracracy. Get on with the business of life together. I already have a couple of daughters that are a little older. I never bothered to adopt…we don’t need it.

We don’t. Callie’s position in this home is not guaranteed. The court could decide to start reunification efforts with her mother again. They could move her to a different home.

Even if they didn’t, everything in Callie’s life is ruled by DFS. She can’t get on with the business of life together, because we have to ask permission for everything. I can’t take her shopping in the state that is about an hour from here without obtaining permission. I can’t get her ears pierced. I can’t let her get a tattoo. Her sex life and birth control is discussed in a team setting, with lawyers and juvenile officers weighing in. She can’t get the HPV vaccine without obtaining permission. She can’t spend the night at her friend’s house without first providing the team with the birthdate and full name of each adult that lives in the house and then wait for the team to approve it. She can’t ride home from the movies with her boyfriend’s mother without getting permission. Her picture can’t appear in the newspaper. She can’t get her haircut without the team’s permission.

While Callie and I know that we have a permanent bond with each other, we also know the reality of the situation which is that someone could tell us that she is moving from this home tomorrow and there is really nothing either of us could do.

Permanancy means a lot to both Callie and me. It means we go on with the business of being mother and daughter without a team of individuals interfering.

As you can tell, I’ve been behind on my reviews due to..well..you know. So stay tuned for me catching!

I have always been a huge fan of strawberries, and have recently started putting them in salad which I really like.

In California this year, they’ve had an amazing strawberry harvest. They were able to harvest over six million crates of strawberries. YUMMY! California provides about 88% of our nations strawberries.

The folks out in California have some great sites to check out if you are a strawberry fan.

First, for your little ones, they have a site where kids can download screen savers, learn facts about strawberries and find strawberry recipes. The California Strawberry Commission also has a site for adults with tons of DELICIOUS sounding recipes, as well as nutritional and educational information. This salad sounds delicious to me!

I’ve got a Recycline toothbrush to give away..Here’s some information about the toothbrush and what makes it unique. If you are interested, leave a comment on this post and I’ll pick a random winner. You can also get a coupon here. 

For years as Moms we have reminded our kids to rinse out their empty juice bottles and yogurt cups and put them in the recycling bin. But while we try to instill how recycling helps the environment, we rarely think about what actually happens to those containers once they get picked up at the end of the driveway. Enter Preserve, an innovative, green home products company, which closes the recycling cycle.

The Preserve line takes recycled BPA and phthalate-free plastic, including yogurt cups, and re-recycles them into stylish, affordable, and eco-friendly toothbrushes. And when it’s time to get new toothbrushes for the family, you can print out a pre-paid postage label from Recycline’s website, send the used toothbrushes back to them and the plastic will live on as a deck, picnic table, or boardwalk. The line also includes Preserve Jr. toothbrushes for kids, with animal colors and shapes, making it easy for us to get an early start when it comes to promoting eco-friendly habits.