Ahhh..here we are at the end. And so, in celebration, I present you with the giant list of questions that I got asked but didn’t answer yet…If I missed a question, I am sorry..I tried to go through each blog post. Feel free to ask again if I accidentally skipped you.

Crayon asked:

I also signed up for NoBloPoMo!

More questions - do you have any tips for the homestudy process? Like the Dept. of Health & Fire Marshall Inspection?

Oh! How long after Bug was adopted til you started fostering? And how long did it take you to get licensed after your training? How long until you had your first placement?

And..

But I have a few more questions… What kind of work do you do? Where is your washer and drier at [Mine is now in the basement - which makes me loathe it even more.]? How many loads do you do a week? Do the older girls ever help with laundry or dinner? What are the kids’ bedtimes?

Homestudy process: Don’t fret. They aren’t going to check under your bed. Just make sure everything is child proofed. Try to get a copy of your regulations so you can see whether you need a carbon monoxide detector, a fire extinguisher, ipecac, etc. Or get those things just because they are good to have.

I received my first foster placement before Bug was adopted. I started classed in January. Was licensed in April. Matched with Bug in June, she moved in in July. Received my first foster placement in August (only a week long placement) and she was adopted in November.

For work, I write for several websites. My washer and dryer are in the laundry room, which is next to the kitchen. I probably do 4 or 5 loads a day, so maybe 30 a week? And little kids go to bed around 7-7:30, Bug’s bedtime is 9:30, older girls are in their room at 10:30 (although they rarely stay up that late). Bubba and Snowbaby like to help with laundry and dinner. The older girls put laundry away and clean up after dinner. Callie likes to help cook dinner too.

Kikilia asked:

Do you ever get updates on Butterfly?

Yes, like I mentioned before, I see her every week. She is doing ok, but still is having a lot of problems in her placements.

Brandy asked:

Oh and I would love more updates on how all the kids have changed since they’ve been in your home. It’s obvious you are having a great effect on all of them

Well Bug seems like a completely different kid. She is a lot more calm, a lot easier to redirect and a lot more mature. Callie likes to read now, she is a lot less argumentative and seems to be starting to care about school. Bubba can say his name, his age, and he talks up a storm about everything. He knows how to brush his teeth, how to ride a bike, how to get dressed, he’s potty trained, he knows how to drink out of a regular cup. He is a lot more affectionate and a lot less scared. Snowbaby can say her name, her age, and she says a whole lot more. I can understand what she needs now. She is in pullups and working on potty training. She doesn’t feel the need to carry food around. I am able to shop with her without her getting panicked. She doesn’t bang her head anymore or stare into space. She’s more independent, has a lot more personality, and seems like a happy little girl.

Mojito asked:

In addition to the question on comment 16, do you know if Butterfly also gets visits with biomom? And if the children will be reunited with biomom, will Butterfly be reunited also? Do Snowbaby and Bubba see/talk/ask about Butterfly?

Butterfly does see her mom every week. The kids go as a “joint package,” even though they aren’t placed together, the decisions regarding their continued presence in foster care are done as a group. Court is for all three kids, and the decisions that the judge makes affects all of them. Bubba has recently started talking about Butterfly, but neither child did for a long time. Snowbaby doesn’t have a strong bond with her.

Katherine asked:

I can’t keep track of the ages - a few months make a difference with the little ones. So please update on how old Bubba and Snowbaby are.

I’d also like to hear more about how Bug is doing with her studies.

Bubba just recently turned four. Snowbaby is 2 1/2 (30 months). Bug is 11 and Callie is 16.

Bug is doing good in school. Her grades are improving and she is trying a lot more than she used to. She has a little bit of test anxiety and of course, her ADHD affects her learning sometimes, but she is doing pretty good. I really like the program she is in, and I think we will be doing this next year too.

Lain asked:

If your current life was made into a movie, what actressses (and it can be an old time actress) could best play you? Geo? Bug?

I myself would need person who looked like Caroline Rhea (The Biggest Loser, Sabrina the Teen Age Witch) and acted like Signory Weaver at the end of Alien.

Oh gosh. Geo always says I look like Natalie Imbruglia (sp?). And the people at the VA say I look like the Olsen Twins. Maybe Lexie Gray, what’s the actress who plays her?

Geo looks like Ty Pennington, Lance Armstrong…Bug says he looks sort of like Patrick Dempsey. And Bug says Miley Cyrus would play her. (Duh). Geo just told me that some people think he is a cross of Ross from Friends and Ralph Maccio. And one of the Beastie Boys..the one with gray hair. I can sort of see a little bit of the Ross thing, but I don’t know. I still go with Ty and Lance.

Angela asked:

I’m wondering if you’ve ever supervised visits in your home with any of your foster kids. Wow! You asked and you’ve got lots of topics to talk about now! Get writing!

Nope..I have supervised phone calls, but all visits have been at DFS.

Heather asked:

As for questions, I’d like to know about the two older children. What happens when they “age out” of the system? Will they still live with you? Will they still come visit you? Will you be their “family” for holidays and the like or are they hoping to reconnect with some members of their bio-family?

Well, I hope they will still come visit me. I hope they will still consider themselves part of my family (both girls..Callie and Izzy). I’m not sure if Callie would want to see her mom again. I’m also not sure how she is going to feel after TPR..she has recently expressed some interest in being adopted. We’ll see.

Humincat asked:

Why doesn’t Geo just move in? But then again, he made need to escape once in awhile, lol.

Well that, and he’s under a lease right now and he can’t move in until he gets fingerprinted and background checked.

Susan asked:

What is at the top of each of your kids wish list?

Callie won’t make a list because she told me not to buy her anything. But I’m not listening. Bug wants an MP3 player, Bubba wants a boat truck and Snowbaby wants a baby.

Micky asked:

Do you still have to deal with Cammie?

Yes, unfortunately.

Christine asked:

Are you really writing a book?

Sort of. I’ve talked to one agent about it, who gave a lot of positive feedback, but I haven’t gotten around to completing my book proposal yet. It’s about 1/4th of the way done.

Beverly asked:

Was she able to repair her memory book you made for her? What big things will you do to celebrate?

We were able to get it mostly back together. For our anniversary, we always go out to eat wherever she wants and I get her a gift. This year I got her a locket.

Shari asked:

Will Social Services help with replacing the destroyed clothing?

Nope..

Lise in NJ asked:

maybe it’s time for you to put out another wishlist (or at least remind me how to send you a little something to spare Bug from going bare).

If you really wanted to, you could always send Bug an Amazon gift card. That’s probably the easiest way.

AnotherSarah asked:

BUT — as long as you are briefly giving us a peek, how about talking a bit about the time you moved to VA and back again fairly quickly. What was that all about?

Eh, I wanted a change of pace, thought I wanted to get a “real” job..was bored with life in the middle of nowhere, wanted to be closer to my mom. Finally decided that although I could make much more money, I had to be away from Bug all the time and we could only live in a dinky little apartment (1 bedroom) and I would rather be able to be with her a lot more. So I came back.

Amy asked:

1. How long was the wait to get a call from the sw? How long was YOUR wait….and how long is the average? (i am just bubbling with excitment!)
2. So when they call you saying they have a child waiting for you to pickup, is there any warning time to get a few things together? Like a carseat or stuff? Like what if I get a call for a child who needs a carseat (which our preference is in that age, so it will be), will I have time to prep myself? Do the kids come with a carseat or ANTTHING (I heard your kids coming with some stuff, or A LOT, but was any of it useful?)
3. what kind of programs should I get involved with right away with the kids? I know WIC I heard is so benefical, but are there any others?
4. Any advice for a momma in waiting!?!?!

I’ve heard of people getting calls the very first day they were licensed and sometimes even before. It just depends on a lot of factors..where you live, what age you are willing to take, how many kids you are willing to take, how many homes are in your area. This second time I got licensed here, I had kids fairly quickly.

When they call, you can always tell them..sure I’ll be there in an hour. This gives you time to run to Walmart or wherever and pick up what you need right then. They have to understand that. I’ve never had kids who came with much of anything. Callie had things but she was coming from another placement. If kids are coming into care, don’t expect them to have anything. All I had for Snowbaby and Bubba was one bottle, the clothes on their backs, and half a pack of diapers.

I like WIC but I know some people don’t find it beneficial. I figure, hey..free formula or milk or whatever..that is more money you have to spend on other things for the kids. Definitely look into Early Intervention or whatever they have in your state if you suspect a child has developmental delays. If you aren’t sure what they offer, just call the school system, explain what is going on, and they are usually really willing to help you figure things out.

Advice? Buy socks, undies and pjs in every size of the kids you are wanting to get. Put plastic sheets on the beds. Read books on attachment. And try to get some sleep because I felt like I haven’t slept in a year.

Kim asked:

Baggage,

would you be opposed to letting me know what size clothes Bug wears? I feel terrible about her clothes.

Buggie is wearing size 6 in women’s jeans and can wear some 14/16 tops, or medium in womens. But if you really want to send her something, it is probably best to send her a gift card to Amazon since she is so darn weird about what she thinks is “cool.”

Wolfie asked:

So how’s the iPhone? Is it user friendly?

It’s great! I love it. It really is user friendly. I’ve had no complaints at all about it. Highly recommend.

Mrs Butter B asked:

Poor Callie. I never saw that one coming. Is it just the holidays that have her down, or are we missing something here? Meds off or something?

And I’m with the other poster- Bubba calls her Rick James? Is she trans or just a game? I don’t remember any details about this….

Callie is the type who has a lot of emotional trauma deep inside of her, but tends to not let anyone see that side of her until it has reached a boiling point. And yes, Callie goes around saying that she is Rick James as a joke, and now the kids call her James. Or Rick James. It is kind of funny.

Process asked:

What is Callie’s placement status? I know you’ve mentioned it before, but I don’t remember. Is it long term sub care? I have a question that in no way is intended to question your decision about Izzy: Does the child’s goal (foster care, long-term sub care, adoption) influence how you would make a decision like this?

Callie, like I mentioned before, has recently brought up the idea of adoption. We haven’t talked about it much, except for me to say I would be open to it, because of her impending TPR.

I would say that the child’s goal has some bearing on my decisions, such as how I felt with Izzy. With the four other kids, Bug is here for good, Callie is here for the long term, and Snowbaby and Bubba aren’t going home anytime soon. I obviously wouldn’t move a child if I thought another child was leaving this month. I think you have to look at the big picture. What is our long term goal? How do these children interact with each other? Is there another solution we haven’t considered to keep this placement intact? 

Trish asked:

If Izzy is moved into another home, which I’m assuming will happen since you already contacted the social worker about it- and another child came up needing a home- WOULD you take in that child?

It just seems like, from an outsider’s point of view, that perhaps you ALL need some time as a cohesive family unit, to bond and heal and learn about each other, without the strife that’s been happening. Within this one year (correct me if I’m wrong), you’ve had problems with Izzy and Butterfly and they’ve went to different homes. Since I’m not in your shoes- I don’t really know what’s happening, but it sounds like IMHO (assvice, if you will) that nows the time to close your doors to new kids and concentrate solely on the ones you have in your house, at this point in time.

We have no plans to take in any other children at this time, unless it was a very young child who was headed for adoption.

Lisa asked:

I have a question, and if this is off-limits Geo territory, then just ignore me. But how do you all split the workload? You are in a (very vaguely) similar situation with me where your Significant Other has an interest in the kids but doesn’t (officially) live with you and isn’t (officially) obligated to the children. So how do you work it? Do you iron his shirts because he is the one who fixes/maintains the house/car or whatever? Does he ever just say, Go, Baggage, have a Saturday to yourself and I’ll take care of the kids or is it all you all the time?

Well, I iron his shirts because I’m good at it. (former military, you know.) He does stuff around the house, fixes the cars, mows the grass, etc. He also works 60+ hours a week. Of course, I work too, just in a different way. Because we don’t live together, it is sort of a struggle sometimes. I would like to see him clean up the house more, but since it is not really his house, yet, it is kind of weird. He is perfectly willing to help when I ask. He does do things like put clothes away, etc. The way I see it, my “job” right now is to take care of the kids, educate Bug, try to bring in some extra money whenever I can, prepare meals, and keep the house clean. I do this everyday, just like he goes to his job six days a week. So when he comes here, I expect him to help out because now his workday is over. Mine is still going. And he does help out. He helps with baths, brushing teeth, reading bedtime stories, tucking the kids in. I think if we lived in the same house, I would expect him to do more on the weekends in terms of picking up around here, but he also has to maintain his own home and I don’t go to his house and clean, so I don’t really expect him to come to mine and clean. I do expect him to clean up after himself, which he does. All in all, I am satisified with how we have things around here. He helps out a lot when he is here and continues to become more comfortable dealing with kids and how to do things. It pretty much is me all the time when it comes to being with the kids, although on the weekends he will stay with the kids, or almost all the kids, while I go to the store. This helps out a lot, because I hate shopping with all the kids. I’ve never left him with the kids and gone to get a massage or something. Not because he wouldn’t do it, but because I think I’m too uptight and wouldn’t be able to relax if he was there alone. (And not because it is him, I get stressed out whenever someone else is watching the kids. That’s just me.)

Cluttergirl asked:

 I really don’t know how you fit the appointments in. That really eats up the day. And when do Bubba and the big girls eat breakfast and why don’t you eat breakfast and lunch with Bug and Snowbaby?

Bubba eats breakfast at his school. The big girls eat breakfast before we leave sometimes, but more often they eat a cereal bar on the way to school. I don’t eat breakfast with Bug and Snowbaby because that is their special time together and because that is the only time I can have a few minutes to myself. I am rarely hungry when Bug is ready for lunch, so I don’t usually eat with them, but I sit upstairs with them most of the time while they are eating.

And finally, if you have read all month and through the longest post I think I’ve ever written…

What is up with me and Geo?

We are getting married. Haven’t worked out all the details, but probably in January in Vegas, where I’ve always wanted to get married at.

Oh man, I am so glad November is almost over. Not because of the blog posting thing, but because November has pretty much sucked.

I have some fun stuff planned in December, so hopefully it turns out a lot less sucky.

OH! I found out the name of Kitchen Bitchin!!! The kid’s first name is Christian and his last name sounds a lot like Bitchin if you are four and you say it fast. After all the talk on the blog yesterday, I looked at every kid’s cubbie and when I saw Christian’s, I said “Bubba!! Is this your best buddy??!!” and he said “Yes!” and then I laughed my butt off.

Maggie asked

I love the little Snowbaby and Bubba stories. They sound sooo adorable.
Maybe a typical day in your house?
I can’t manage two kids I have I can’t see how you do what you do. It’s totally amazing.
Are you a short order cook or do you insist they eat whats for dinner?
How do the kids affect your personal relationships?
Where do you get the strength?

Hmm..typical day. Well, I set my alarm for around 6:40. Sometimes I don’t make it that long because Bubba and Snowbaby are up and making noise. They are pretty good about staying in bed, but since their bedroom, my bedroom and the playroom are all near each other, they sometimes go in the playroom and I don’t mind that either. Most days Geo is here. When the alarm goes off, I hug him and then tell him to get up. He usually doesn’t. Then I go upstairs, start the coffee if it hasn’t started already, and get clothes for Snowbaby (her clothes are in an upstairs closet). Then I come downstairs, wake up Bug, iron Geo’s work clothes if they aren’t ironed already while I supervise Bubba getting dressed. (No Bubba, that’s the wrong way. The wrong foot. Stop shaking your butt and get dressed.) Then I get Snowbaby dressed and run outside to start the car, and then I come inside to throw some clothes on me. Then I help Snowbaby and Bubba get their shoes on, get coats on, make sure that the older girls are dressed appropriately, make sure Geo’s coffee is ready to go, hug and kiss him goodbye, and then I load everyone in the car and head off. I drop the older girls off at school and then I drop Bubba off at school. Then I go home, or sometimes, like this morning I run errands like going to the grocery store. Then I come home and Snowbaby and Bug eat breakfast. Usually during their breakfast, I start my first load of laundry and then I check my email. Then Bug gets in the shower and then Snowbaby and I sit downstairs. Usually in the morning Snowbaby occupies herself by making me coffee, toast, apple juice, or telling me about her babies. In fact, I am on my 400th cup of coffee the morning.

Snowbaby: More toffee?

Me: Can I have apple juice this time?

Snowbaby: Apple juice? No toffee?

Me: Right, apple juice.

(Starts to walk away, then stops.)

Snowbaby: Say please.

She is pretty content to play by herself in the morning. She uses her pretend vacuum, makes pretend food, plays with the babies, talks on her cell phone and hands me things to hold. Right now I have a penguin, cell phone, and camera on my lap.

Once Bug is done in the shower, she makes her bed and Snowbaby’s bed with Snowbaby’s help. Then we start school. I go over Bug’s lesson and then she disappears to do it. She does not work well at all at a desk, so I let her do her work wherever she feels comfortable. Sometimes Snowbaby will watch something on TV while Bug does her work. We do school work and I entertain Snowbaby for most of the day. This mostly involves responding to “Hold me! Hug me! Go potty! I want bread! I wanna sit on you lap! I want to type!” all day. Sometimes we call Geo, sometimes we go to the store, etc, etc. Yesterday we went to the post office. Sometime during the morning I shower and find something to eat. I also do laundry all day long. Laundry is a never ending process. I also am on a big decluttering kick, inspired by some of my favorite bloggers, and so I work on the house, get dinner going if I am doing something in the crockpot, etc.

Then we eat lunch. Snowbaby and Bug eat together and I eat sometime during the day if I remember. We wrap up Bug’s school work. During the day, I also try to get some work done, although I haven’t been doing that much lately. I also have to respond to emails, write reviews, etc.

Then the big girls get home from school. I talk to them and then they do homework or go on the computer or watch TV or whatever they do. After they get home, I go get Bubba from school. Then I get dinner going or get it on the table if I did something in the crockpot. After dinner, I take the little ones to the bath, and then its potty and teeth and a bedtime story and night night. Then I usually go watch something on TV.

Of course, almost everyday we have something else going on..psychiatrist, counseling, speech or occupational therapy, IEP meetings, visitation, court, Team meetings, etc, etc. I very rarely have a day where I don’t have at least one appointment.

I make one meal and they have the option once or twice a week to eat something else if they don’t want what I make. They are pretty good about eating what I cook, or just eating cereal or something if they don’t want it.

As for personal relationships, I don’t have nearly as much time as I would like. I also am tired most of the time, which means that by 9:30 I’m ready to go to sleep which isn’t great for Geo and I. I try to stay up so we can spend some time together, but it is hard for me to do.

And I have no idea where I get the strength to do it, I guess because I have to! I chose this life and I’m happy I did, and I have to do what it takes to get through each day. The kids make it worth it most days, and they probably give me the strength.

Me: You can’t poop in your pants. You are a big girl now!

Snowbaby: No, I baby!

Me: No, you are a big girl now!

Snowbaby: I no big girl.

Me: Then what are you?

Snowbaby: I’m HAPPY!!

Last night, our social worker talked to Izzy about her move. For all we bitch about inept social workers, I have had a few really great ones, and this recent one is a great one. She phrased everything in a way that was non-blaming, but at the same time did not absolve Izzy from some of the issues she had here. She stressed that adoption/living in the same house do not make a family. She emphasized how much we cared about her and how much we want to keep contact with her, have visits with her later on, and how she will always be part of what FosterAbba calls the “big F” family.

And Izzy cried, but her main reaction?

Was relief.

Relief that she got to go back near her brother, because she felt that she wasn’t ready to live away from him. Relief because although she really wanted to be adopted, she isn’t sure anymore. She feels that she is not ready to say goodbye to her bio mom and her brother, and she feels that because he doesn’t really support her adoption plans, that would happen. Relief that she could express these feelings and know that we would still love her and still want her to be part of our family.

And afterwards, we all went out to eat together and although I felt sad, I also felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.

Finally, to lighten things up around here, here is the latest from our best buddy:

Bubba: Mom. Mom. Mom. Guess what? Kitchen Bitchin!

Me: Your best buddy?

Bubba: Yeah! He punched me in my face! He took his hand and push my face down! Hahahahahahaha!!

Me: Whoa! That wasn’t nice!

Bubba: Yeah, Kitchin Bitchin not my best buddy anymore.

Me: So who is your best buddy now? Me?

Bubba: NO MOM! 4 6 7 8 9 is my best buddy now.

I apologize that my posts are so sucky lately. I really am exhausted. I’ve had a hell of a week dealing with these girls. Starting last week with Callie’s suicide attempt, my night at the hospital, then her hospitalization and then all the behaviors from all three girls and then Thanksgiving and the continual stress with Izzy, and then this morning Snowbaby woke up sick….

I’m just tired.

So I’m sorry if my blog has sucked lately.

I didn’t talk to Izzy last night, although we have discussed recently about her moving. She is not going to be blindsided. I want to work with the social workers to find out exactly where she is going and when, so it can make it easier on  her. I am not sure how she is going to react in terms of behaviors and if they aren’t moving her for another two weeks, I don’t want to have a miserable two weeks for everyone.

I really do appreciate all the supportive comments. I felt supported by our social worker too, who said that I am not the type to make a move like this just because I’m annoyed by behaviors or whatever.

The thing that really hit me was her saying that my kids deserve a safe, healing place to live and my house wasn’t that right now because of the dynamic between everyone involved.

That just made me feel better, like I am doing the right thing. Which I know I am, but it is still hard.

By the way, go see the movie Enchanted. First off, Patrick Dempsey. Second, Idina Menzel. And third, it’s just a cute movie that you can bring your kids to.

Off to shower. Only 12 more hours until I can go to sleep.

I called the social worker today regarding Izzy and things are now in motion.

I feel very sad about it.

Me: Callie?

Callie: OH MY GOD! I can’t believe you called! I was just telling everyone that nobody was going to call me!!

*****

Becky asked:

I’m also participating! I’ll be checking back every day.

Hmmm…okay, so here’s my question: what is your favorite part of the day with your kids?

I don’t know that I have a favorite..different days have different good parts. The only one thing that I really look forward to each day (besides bedtime..haha) is when I pick Bubba up from school, he always comes running towards me and flings himself into my arms. I love that.

*****

Last night I had a dream that Geo went to some other girl’s house for Thanksgiving because she was better at cooking. (The night before, I dreamt that he was going to kill me with an ax. The night before that, I had a dream that I was going to start working at Seattle Grace, but I decided not to, because it was too far to commute.)

Turns out, my dream (the part about Thanksgiving, not the ax or the job) might be prophetic, as I just now realized that my turkey is going to take much longer to thaw out than I had originally realized.

Great. I haven’t even started cooking yet and already I’ve botched things up. Thank goodness I checked online how to do all this. Seriously, I’ll ask it again. What the hell did people do before the internet??

I talked to the hospital this morning and Callie is doing very well. An average stay can be anywhere from 3 days to a week. I would really love for her to be home for Thanksgiving, but I don’t know if that is going to happen.

*****

Me: So what are the basic building blocks of all matter?

Bug: Cement?

Conversations with Bubba in the car:

Bubba: Mom, today I saw my mom.

Me: I know.

Bubba: And a pig says Oink Oink and I want to ride on a fire truck!

*****

Bubba: Mom…who is this little lady?

Me: That is Shrek’s Girlfriend.

Bubba: Oh. (Throws her on the ground)

*****

Bubba: I’m going to get daddy when he get home. I going to get him and jump on him and get him. And then I get up. And shake my butt.

*****

Bubba: I going to sit on his lap and tell him give me boat and truck.

Snowbaby: I want truck.

Bubba: You can’t. You girl. You no penis.

*****

Bubba: Hey, where Rick James at?

Me: She’s still at the doctor.

Bubba: I want her come home.

Oh my word, my children are about ready to drive me out of my mind. I don’t know what is up with the two little ones today but they seemed to have gone insane.

I want to hide under my bed.

Humincat asked:

I’m interested in your feelings on fostering little kids vs. big kids and how each group affected Bug. How were/are her reactions to the older girls vs. the babies and I remember all the drama around her and Butterfly, so I wonder if you’d consider same age group again. OH! I would also love to hear about the times when you thought I CANT DO THIS. Does Geo ever wish you’d quit and send some back? Feel free to ignore any questions that are too personal or offensive, because I tend to be nosy, sorry.

Fostering little kids and big kids are both challenging in their own ways. Neither one is easy. I’ve written before about how dealing with little guys can be difficult. They lack communication, they need constant supervision, they often have no idea what they are doing in your home. Teens are teens, and even a child who was raised in a home with no issues still goes through that teenage phase. Add abuse issues and being away from their bio families and all this to the normal teen drama, and it can be challenging.

I think our family now is a very good mix for Bug. She really looks up to Izzy and Callie and her behavior has improved a lot since they have joined our family. She also feels like she has a friend in the family, and she is learning how to get attention from them without being innappropriate which is a skill she is severely lacking in.

She also really likes being a big sister. She gets into a lot of fights with Bubba, but she does pretty well with Snowbaby. She changes diapers, they eat breakfast and lunch together, and I can trust her to take Snowbaby upstairs while I stay downstairs with Bubba. (It is easier if the kids are split up on the weekend. Bubba likes to grab toys from everyone and Snowbaby likes to bite people.)

I am not sure if the problems with Bug and Butterfly were related to Butterfly’s issues (which are severe) or an inability for Bug to deal with girls her own age. I’m not willing to find out at this time though.

There are a lot of times I think that I can’t do this. Ten minutes ago, for instance. I try to separate myself when I feel very frustrated. Even ten minutes in the shower can help. I seriously need a break though. I haven’t had a day away in over nine months. I need that. Badly. I mostly get frustrated away from home. Like in grocery stores when Bubba flings himself down on the floor and Snowbaby bangs her head into the cart and Bug whines that she can’t buy chocolate and the older girls disappear etc etc. I’m sure all parents get frustrated in stores though, especially with toddlers. I try to shop without Bubba as often as possible.

I’m sure Geo wishes the kids were gone at various times, but he cares a lot about them, so I don’t think he ever really wishes they would go away. We are both very committed to getting these kids to some kind of permanancy.

Oh shoot, Bubba has gone upstairs and is crying and Bug is yelling and I just heard someone tell Snowbaby not to bite, so I better go.

You know, I thought a lot of things about my ability to parent before I became a parent, but I never realized I would become good at talking people down from raging acts where they start to injure themselves or that I’d be able to remain calm when it happened.

*****

Ok on with the questions:

Susan asked:

I would love to know more about each of your kids, not case stuff, but what do they like, dislike, favorite colors, just everyday stuff.

Izzy likes medical shows, Maury, and Disney channel shows, puzzles and riding bikes. She doesn’t like hearing constructive criticism or when Bug talks about Disney Channel shows in front of Izzy’s friends. Her favorite color is blue.

Callie likes music, the internet, puzzles and Michael Jackson. She dislikes immaturity, High School Musical and going to school. Her favorite color is blue.

Bug likes High School Musical, Hannah Montana, talking on IM, playing sports and the Baby Sitters Club. She dislikes schoolwork, chores, going to bed, and taking showers. Her favorite color is blue.

Bubba likes boats, cars, trucks, race car drivers, princesses, doing laundry, watching me cook and books. He doesn’t like thunderstorms, when people “lose him,” or staying dry all night. His favorite color is blue.

Snowbaby likes babies, books, bread, eating, apple juice, talking on the phone, Jon and Kate plus Eight, baths and princesses. She doesn’t like going to bed, taking naps, walking up the stairs, wearing shoes in the car, or when I leave. Her favorite color is pink.