I had the start of my foster care additional training tonight, which I’ll talk about later. But first I have to tell you a quick story that illustrates my overwhelming asshatiness.

At the beginning we all went around and introduced ourselves and I said I had an almost 11 year old and the teacher asked if I was a single mom to Bug and I said that I was, but that I was in a relationship and Bug considered him to be her Dad, blah blah.

At the end of class, the husband of one of the couples leans over to me and says, “Hey. How come you don’t have kids of your own?”

I was taken aback. And so I said, “What?”

And he said, “How come you don’t have kids of your own?”

And I said, “Oh, do you mean biological children? Because Bug is my own child, she is just not biologically mine. Besides, what does “own” children mean anyway? But I can have biological children, well I think I can, but see..I have this good ovary named Elphaba but I also have a bad ovary named Galinda and she is missing and so I don’t know how easy it would be for me to have children, but Dr. Gel said that there is no reason why not and I was going to go through a sperm bank, but I decided I would rather live in the BDH instead and maybe I will try to have biological children at some future date, but I loved adopting from foster care and I feel more drawn to that right now.”

Or at least that is what I decided I should have said.

But no.

I said, “Uh..I can’t have kids.”

And the guy said, “Yeah, that is what I thought but I didn’t want to ask.”

Which, WTF? Because he did ask.

And also, what the hell kind of answer was mine?

I mean, obviously I don’t want to explain to him the status of my reproductive organs (I only do that with strangers on the internet) but I should of said something. I don’t know what though.

And this was the first time he had spoken to me all night.

I’m an asshat, but he’s a bigger asshat.

Technorati Tags: foster care, adoption, biological children, asshat

You ever have one of those days where nothing awful happens, but your day is horrible nevertheless?

That’s today.

My leg has been killing me since I first told you guys about it. I’ve tried everything..ibuprofen, baths with muscle stuff in it, bengay, massage, stretching. Nothing even touches the pain. My foot hurts and the pain goes up my calf, on my knee, on my hamstring, on my butt and to my hip.

I don’t know why.

Last night it hurt so bad that Geo gave me half a percocet so I could go to sleep. Somewhere in the midst of me talking about why I didn’t like fountains (not water fountains, like big fountains)..apparently I object to algae..I started to doze off. He said, “Don’t worry, little hon, hopefully it will be better tomorrow.”

Um. No.

This morning I woke up with not only bad leg pain, but also my period. And cramps. And a sty in my eye. A STY IN MY EYE for Christ’s sake.

I also tried to find out why I haven’t gotten Bug’s new birth certificate yet, so I can get her a new social security card so I can file my taxes. And of course, nobody knows where it is. And I hate the idea of a new birth certificate anyway.

And did I mention my college has something screwed up and now the registrar is double checking my graduation??

And then I’ve been working on this project which is going awful.

The person is paying me to write reviews of a rather obscure item. Let’s stay it is chapstick, because I’m putting on chapstick right now. So they want me to write a review on chapstick, and one on chapsticks, and one on sticks used for chap lips, and one on chap (space) sticks, and one on items named chapstick.

And it is just not feasible. They want each review to be completely unique, but they want it all about the exact same product. It’s a little ridiculous, and actually it’s a lot worse than it even sounds.

I’ve been working on it for three days and finally I just snapped.

So I left to go do three things.

1. Take my movies back and get some more.

2. Get the bird some food.

3. Find out whether the Jessica Simpson product line was still on super duper sale at Walgreens and buy some.

Well, the bird part worked.

And then Bug says, “Oh DARN IT.” And I said, “What?” and she said, “I forgot the movies.”

And of course, we were already in town. And did I mention that I love in the middle of nowhere now.

(And that the Jessica Simpson stuff was mostly sold out? And that I couldn’t buy a brace for my leg because every brace had latex in them and I’m allergic to latex????)

So I decide to swing by the old house to check the mail. And in the box is a slip from UPS saying that they have a package for me. I have no idea what is in this package, but it says I can pick it up at the address in the left hand corner.

Which is in New Jersey.

Which is not where I live. Or even close.

So I call UPS who tells me that I can pick it up on so and so street.

Except there is no UPS place there. I drive around twice. Nothing.

So I call UPS back. And while I’m talking to an extremely stupid woman who calls the name of my town “Muff,” I notice that my temperature gauge has gone all the way to hot.

And smoke is coming out of my car.

And I’m stuck at a red light.

As soon as it changes, I pull into a grocery store. This isn’t one I usually shop at. Bug likes this one though, because for some reason they have live bands playing in the store. Well, live bands is a stretch. Tonight they had a 150 year old man who I was quite sure was going to die any moment. Not because of his age, mind you, but because of the wretched sounds coming out of his mouth.

So I finally get the car able to drive. I go back home. I pick up the videos. I go back into town. I find some movies. I go to Long John Silver to get Bug some food.

I want a number 1.

No you don’t.

YES I DO.

No Bug, you don’t like that.

YES I DO.

No Bug, you don’t.

YES I DO MOMMY.

Bug. It has cole slaw.

EWWW. I HATE THE NUMBER ONE.

While this fascinating conversation with my darling daughter was going on, I notice that smoke is again coming out of my vehicle.

Shh Bug. The car is smoking again.

I don’t see smoke.

Bug, be quiet.

Mommy.

Bug, be quiet.

Mommy, it’s really important.

What?

Remember last time we were here and you could get a candle? Well, can we get a candle this time?

NO BUG. Be quiet.

Finally we get our food. We get home without the car blowing up, although I was quite distracted and kept forgetting to turn off my brights.

So if I blinded you today with my high beams, I’m sorry.

Then I come downstairs to check my Outlook mail, because I can only check it on my laptop and I haven’t been doing it because I have the blog comments sent to my yahoo now because outlook is not letting me respond to emails.

And I realize that a bunch of you had emailed me, and I didn’t know it. And now you think I’m some mean bitch who won’t give you the password. When in fact, I didn’t know you had written.

Also, someone sent me an email with the subject line, “Hi Dad” but I don’t think it was any of you.

So tonight I am going to send out passwords so if by tomorrow you don’t have one, let me know. I might have missed you, and not on purpose.

Speaking of, hey! Feel free to comment. I always feel bad when I don’t get comments, which I know is stupid, but I do it anyway. So comment! Don’t lurk! Join in! Yay!

Damn. What a day.

Oh, and while I was typing this, I realized I had screwed something up and lost $30 bucks that I was going to make.

I think it is time for bed.

Technorati Tags: bad day, Long John Silvers, money, work, birth certificate

I almost forgot to post my Holidailies today. I guess it would have counted because I did post earlier, but I’ve been trying to do a dedicated Holidailies post.

Except I have no motivation to write. I hate dialup. HATE IT. It is so slow. I can’t get anything to work. My own blog takes 45 minutes to come up. It takes six years for a lonelygirl video to load.

I want to kill dial up.

In other news, I’m ovulating out of the Galinda side, which means that this month would have been worthless in terms of baby making anyway. So guess that means the BDH was good choice.

Except for the dialup.

HATE DIALUP.

Technorati Tags: internet

Bug is not a breadstick.I saw this over at Kim.Kim’s. Pizza Hut has launched a campaign called “Adopt A Bite.” (I am guessing this is only in the UK?)

It is basically a viral marketing plan based off of this website-Adopt A Bite Now.

A bite is apparently like a breadstick with cheese in the middle?

And the website is pretending to be an adoption agency:

Everyone is welcome to adopt! It doesn’t matter if you’re a single mum or dad, or a teenager, a senior citizen, a size 14 or a French politician. Even short people and married couples with children may adopt with AFAOLB™.

Now usually I don’t get all wrapped up in the use of the word “adopt” in other circles than the actual transfer of legal rights from one parent to another. Adopt a Highway, for instance, doesn’t really bother me. I know that it bothers a lot of people, but when I pick my battles, it falls rather low on the list.

But a page like this?

It details the reasons you should “adopt a bite” and it is full of adoption stereotypes and just blatant disgusting comparisons. Even if you can get past the idea that they are equating adopted children and pieces of cheese filled bread, can you get past statements like this?

Without a loving family it’s hard for a little bite to develop its full potential and live a successful life. Many orphaned bites end up in the gutter struggling day by day to survive. Even more unfortunate bites end up on the black market, a lawless underworld where the ethics of society don’t apply.

Right. Because most adoptions are done on the black market. And the page goes on to ask the bite why he was abandoned (because he was premature), asks him if he understood that no one wanted him, and includes pictures of “orphaned bites” begging for money.

Wow. How utterly tasteless. (Which is never a good thing for a food ad)

I don’t think I need to tell you that adopted children are often very much wanted, even if they are technically abandoned. And I use the word abandon here to mean actual abandonment, NOT what mothers do when they make an adoption plan. Yet, this website grabs onto every negative stereotype about adoption and runs with it.

The letter Pizza Hut wrote back to Kim.Kim says that they wanted to focus on the positive sides of adoption, which I guess they are meaning when new parents can click on the shiny yellow button that says “Adopt Now” and be handed over their very own cheesy bread.

I don’t think an ad for a breadstick needs to go into the complex issues surrounding adoption and loss, but at the same time, using the way people build their family as a way to sell pizza is pretty lame. But if they wanted to use adoption as the center of their ad, then why did they do it in such a disgusting and sensationalized way?

I do not hide a lot of things from Bug, but I know she would be hurt by that ad. And I can imagine children who were actually abandoned by their parents would be even more so. And judging from what Kim.Kim said on her site, it hurts moms like her as well.

I guess Pizza Hut is getting what they want though, by using a viral campaign like this because here I am talking about it.

I’m not saying that we need to treat adoption like it is a fragile piece of pottery that we can’t even be in the same room with. And it isn’t even the idea that you can adopt a breadstick (which I find pretty stupid) that is so offensive..it is how they portrayed adoption. Come save a poor lonely cheesestick that no one wanted.

I wouldn’t even be so offended if it was done by a comedy team, but on a website advertising a family restaurant (and I am guessing this campaign spreads further than just this website with TV ads etc) then this type of advertisement is disgusting.

Technorati Tags: adoption, Pizza Hut, Adopt A Bite

One reason I didn’t like being in the military was because it seemed that you could not even go to the bathroom without someone filling out some form and having it approved by 62 people.

That is how my day has been.

My week has not been good. It started off with the continuous puking which was followed up by what felt like the hangover from hell. I was so dizzy and weak yesterday that I thought many times that I was going to pass out.

Which led me to inadvertently think that my psychology exam was due today and not yesterday.

So first, I had to work all that out.

Then, something has happened in one of my other classes. The gradebook is showing that I haven’t turned in like 90% of my assignments, even though I have, and even though I told her like 15 times this semester that my gradebook wasn’t updated and she assured me it was OK.

And you know, I’m supposed to graduate. Like THIS WEEK. So it is a little important.

On top of that, my mom sent two packages to Bug and I for Christmas. And the tracking thing said they have left me a notice, except I never got a notice. And they said the notice was left at 6:30 am, when my mail comes around 4 pm. So I called the main post office number and it is impossible to talk to a person. You have to keep yelling at the automated system, which doesn’t let you push numbers, but makes you say what you want to do.

“I WANT TO TALK TO A PERSON.”

“OK! You want to track a package?”

“NO! GET ME A HUMAN!”

“OK! You want to buy stamps?”

“NO! I WANT A CUSTOMER SERVICE REPRESENTATIVE”

“OK! You want to track a package?”

Finally, I reached a person who told me basically, that she had no idea what I was talking about, and to call the local post office. And finding that number was like finding the hidden immunity idol, as it isn’t listed on any website. Once I found that number they said, “Yeah, a notice was left.” And I said that it wasn’t. And they said it was. And then they went to check to see if the packages were there, but they weren’t. Except this morning when I called, they were. They also asked me about 12 times if “Garrett” lived here. Which he does not.

Meanwhile, I’ve been trying to get the new house set up with internet and TV. But the cable company doesn’t service it. And I couldn’t get AT&T to recognize the house, but finally it did. The house is in one county, but has a postal address from another county. And since I ordered online, AT&T made me call them, which defeated the whole purpose of ordering online, and now they say they are processing my order, but I still don’t know when I am getting phone service, which means I can’t order satellite TV and internet, which I am still not even sure I can get, because it seems like every person you talk to gives you a different answer.

Meanwhile, Bug decided on Sunday to raid my piggy bank and lie about it, then decided yesterday to “help” another girl take her test, by you know, taking it for her, and just about five minutes ago almost got ran over by not one, but two cars as she darted across the street without looking. And then when I honked the horn to say, “Hey, you are about to get run over by not one, but two cars” she stopped and then just stood there. And the cars stopped. And then she wouldn’t move and the bus driver screamed out the bus that she needed to look both ways.

Which was kind of my point too. Which I’ve made almost every day for the past two months as she darts across the street.

But at least I’m not throwing up.

Which is this best part about today so far, which isn’t a good sign.