GeoIM: Hey, what’s up?

BaggageIM: Not much. Oh hey, I got three foster placements.

GeoIM: What? For real? What does that mean?

BaggageIM: I got three more placements.

GeoIM: Oh God. They are there now?

BaggageIM: Yes.

GeoIM: Oh my.

BaggageIM: It is a Momma kitty cat and her two baby cats. I tried to say that we don’t we take cats, only kids, but apparently somebody left them here. Or they heard how awesome my house is, so they came here by themselves.

GeoIM: Oh ha! I thought you already got three more kids.

BaggageIM: Not yet.

GeoIM: What did you do about the cats?

BaggageIM: I told them to buzz off. I can’t have cats here. Although Bug did let one run into the living room. I was on the phone talking to the SW and a cat just ran by me.

GeoIM: You have one strange home.

BaggageIM: You’re telling me.

Didn’t get picked for sibling group of three.

In case you are waiting for a package from me or a reply to an email you have sent….I am sorry. I’m working on it.

Yesterday was an extremely crappy day for me. (Was it the most depressing day yesterday or is that the 24th?? I got conflicting reports.)

I’m not sure whether my anxiety is causing me to feel sick or my sickness is causing me anxiety but either way, I could barely get out of bed yesterday. Actually, I really didn’t get out of bed until right before I had to go to my behavior class.

And let me tell you, there was this new couple there. Why they came starting with the third class, I do not know. But they talked THE ENTIRE TIME. Now, if you know me in real life you know that I’m a talker. Actually, you might have figured that out by the frequency in which I blog. (I figure my blog will listen to me yap, if no one else will.) But even though I like to talk and I contribute to the class discussion when I feel I have a relevant point…I do not run my mouth the entire class.

And these people did. They interrupted EVERYTHING the teacher said. They interrupted each other while they were interrupting him. And on the rare occassions that they were not interrupting each other, they were talking to themselves or someone nearby.

I really wanted to punch them.

And you know what most of our class was about last night?? LISTENING.

My God.

On top of that nonsense, there is still something wrong with my van. Geo is going to take it into work tomorrow to try to get it fixed. But meanwhile I have to fill it up with water everytime I go anywhere, which doesn’t really suck but it sort of sucks. And the water all falls out as I’m driving so if you want to, you can come to my house and follow the water trail to wherever I am going and stalk me. (It’s probably only Walmart so you might as well just go there and stalk me.)

And Bug. Do you know how many times Bug talked back/argued last week? 68. 68! Last night when I got home from the class, she was already in bed. Apparently Geo had gotten fed up with her and sent her to bed. You know her behavior is bad if Geo doesn’t want to deal with it. Her attitude just sucks lately. (Is she picking up on my anxiety? Is she just a typical 11 year old? Is she in on a secret plot with the Bush administration to put me in a mental institution?)

I think a lot of the anxiety comes from the waiting game. It is Tuesday. Homestudies on one of the groups of kids that I’m interested in are being collected until tomorrow. One group is having them collected until Monday. I tried to come up with a scientific formula to predict how soon after they stop collecting homestudies they will do a staffing, but we all know that I suck in math and so that wasn’t successful either. So meanwhile, I just keep checking my special social worker email and I keep having no new messages. I do think that the staffings will take place sometime between now and say Valentine’s Day. I’m also waiting to see what happens with the foster kids who were coming but then didn’t and still might.

And I hate waiting. HATE IT.

Also, what the hell is Bree doing? Planning what job you want? How about you plan out how to escape the mysterious order that is chasing your ass? And maybe people wouldn’t be clingy or trying to help you through your problems if, you know, they hadn’t just seen your dad shot in front of them by the mysterious order that is chasing your ass? I mean, get a grip woman!

Wow. This is an incredibly bitchy post. But that is what it is like inside my head lately. So I apologize.

I will end this post on a positive note. Do you know that diet Pepsi does not suck? It is much better than diet Coke. I still like Coke in the glass bottles the best, but they are expensive, but better than any other Coke in a can or a fountain or a plastic bottle. But diet Pepsi=does not suck. Water, however, sucks. But I am drinking it more and more. And I’m imagining all you bloggy people yelling at me when I don’t. Which really, bloggy people, you can back down from all the yelling.

Or, if you must yell, don’t do it while you are stalking me. Walmart is stressful enough already without all the yelling.

Technorati Tags: diet Pepsi, water, anxiety, waiting, Walmart,  Lonelygirl, LG15

One of my great readers, Amanda, sent me some questions about foster care adoptions, and I thought I would answer them here. If you’ve been with me since before Bug came home, then you probably know the answers but since I know that I’ve gained/lost readers since then, I hope this is helpful.

Q: What was it like dealing with DSS on a daily personal basis? Meaning, the workers, the process, the paperwork?

A: The truth is, it isn’t really as intense as you might imagine. When it came to Bug, her worker was the one I had the most contact with in the beginning as we set up visits and made arrangements for her to move in. The workers on my end didn’t even come over until Bug had been home for about a month and a half. As far as foster care placements, I’ve never felt intruded upon by the workers..I feel that when they were trying to help, they were helpful. The process is kind of a pain in the butt, but any homestudy process is. There is a lot of paperwork in the beginning but it didn’t take me more than a day to fill it all out. As far as ongoing paperwork, the only paperwork I really do is turning in receipts or mileage or babysitting records.

Q: How intrusive did they get into “private” issues?

A: I was honest during my homestudy about my abuse. First, because I don’t see it as a negative and second, because there are court cases related to it. I didn’t want someone down the line to be able to find out I lied about something. The homestudy worker handled it very well. Her write up in my homestudy was very positive. The important things to remember when you are talking about private issues, and especially private issues that could possibly be a negative, is that they are not expecting you to be perfect. They want to know how you’ve handled it. How you’ve dealt with it. What effects it is having on you now. As far as what else they asked, they asked about my relationship with my parents, how often I saw them, how I would characterize my childhood. They asked about growing up, my siblings, my porce. And what my hobbies were. (I couldn’t really think of my hobbies. I felt lame.) And then they asked a bunch about my parenting (which of course, I hadn’t parented at this point) and what type of child I’d want. I never felt like they were being unnecessarily intrusive.

Q: How long did the process take before you were ready to be matched with a child?

A: It took about four months. The paperwork said it was shorter than getting a barber’s license. I’m not sure why they thought I cared. The majority of the time was spent finishing class. We had one class a week for 10 weeks.

Q:What was the homestudy like?

My homestudy was made up of six visits. They took place over the course of those four months. During the first visit, she gave me all the paperwork, walked through my house, pointed out things that I would need to have changed (for instance, here you have to have one kitchen chair for every person in the house. So if you are licensed for 3 kids and married, you need to have five kitchen chairs.) The second, third, and fourth visits were her asking questions. As I said, about my childhood, about my adulthood, about my feelings towards adoption/foster care, how I felt about birth families, how my family felt about adopted children, and then what type of kids I wanted. At the last meeting I had a chance to review my homestudy (although in California when I went through the process, I did not get a chance to review it) and had to sign off on it. We also did a final walk through of the house. The sixth visit was with Cammie and during that visit I had to sign my contracts. I signed three different contracts: one for foster care, one for emergency care and one for respite care. The homestudy is a lot less scary than it sounds.

Q: What was the process of matching to Bug like and how long did it take before she was home with you? Did the social workers show you a big book of kids, did you go through the photolistings, or were you her foster mother first?

A: I was actively pursuing the photolistings and not getting anywhere really. In most cases, kids are only photolisted after they have tried to find an adoptive home and not been able to. Also, I found that I didn’t get a lot of feedback when I tried to talk to workers outside of the state. (Also, I kept getting annoyed at Cammie and her apparent lack of interest in sending my homestudy out.)

However, social workers send out private profiles to the other social workers. So Cammie was sending them to me and asking if I was interested. I was adamant about having a child 9 or less, so for quite a few of them I told her no. I got Bug’s profile Memorial Day weekend. It basically said she liked group activities and was an average student and had blond hair. That was about it. On June 7th, her worker emailed Cammie asking if I had a chance to review Bug’s long profile. A long profile actually tells you about the kid. Information about their medical history, why they are in care, what issues they have, what their parents are like. She also faxed over a bunch of psychological records of Bug’s that were written recently. She wanted me to review them before I agreed to have my homestudy considered for Bug. I reviewed them, freaked out a little bit, then freaked out a lot, and then said yes.

She then had me send in a lifebook, which in this case was not what you make for adopted children, but rather it was a photo album about me. I freaked out about this thing as well, but it turned out nice. I also almost got in a fight at Walmart with the cashier who CARDED ME for buying SCRAPBOOKING GLUE to make a LIFEBOOK for my POSSIBLE FUTURE DAUGHTER because she thought I wasn’t 18.

So I sent that in and the worker wrote me saying she had gotten it, and it was nice and that the staffing was on a Thursday which was about two weeks away. So I freaked out about that and then Thursday came and went and I was never called. I was pretty sure I hadn’t gotten picked. Even Geo said that they would have probably called me by then. Friday morning came and I was upset and so I took a nap (Thanks Tylenol PM) and when I woke up I had an email from Cammie saying I had been picked. Much freaking out ensued.

That was on Friday and I met Bug on Sunday morning. She was wearing a very ugly pair of shorts. And she talked like a gangster. And told me that adoption meant you never got to see your family again. Then I saw her again on Monday. Then I had to leave her at the foster home. The next weekend was Fourth of July and I got her for the long weekend. We went to Chicago to a Cubs game. We hung out with the fabulous Krissy Poppyhands who showered Bug in gifts. Then I had to bring Bug back to the foster home for the rest of the week. Also, the foster home was about 5 1/2 hours away. And I had to drive back and forth with Bug, and then leave her and come back. But they paid me for the mileage which resulted in a nice check eventually. So Bug went back for a week and then she came back here for a week and then back until Friday and then I picked her up for good. So it was a day visit, a weekend visit, a week visit and then for good. They are required to do this kind of transition, but it was really hard on me and Bug hated it. She freaked out everytime she went back to the foster home. I don’t think she thought she was going to get to come back. The happiest I had ever seen her was on the day she didn’t have to go back anymore.

Q:Did you find that Bug brought a lot of issues with her? Tantrums, attachment problems, stealing/hording food, outrageous lying, etc? Or was it more that she was just a hurt little girl who needed someone to love her unconditionally?

A: Both.

Q:Did it take time before you loved her and felt like her mother?

A: I felt a sense of responsibility to her which I guess was feeling like a mother almost immediately. It took awhile before I loved her. Even longer before I liked her. She was a stranger, and a rude, defiant stranger at that. I was thrilled to have her though, and completely committed. I made a commitment to love her long before I actually loved her.

Q:What was it like going from a young single adult to the parent of an adolescent?

A: It was great and scary and annoying and frustrating and wonderful and terrifying and rewarding and difficult and happy and I spent some time wishing I could just have some time to myself again. She came home during summer so we were with each other 24 hours for almost two months before I had a break and that was hard.

But I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

Thanks Amanda for the great questions. If anyone else has questions about foster care/adoption process, feel free to ask and I’ll try to do my best to answer them or point you in the right direction.

Also, I’m sorry that the formatting is so messed up on this post. I don’t know that is. Wordpress hates my guts.

Technorati Tags: foster care, adoption, attachment, homestudy, single mom

For those not reading behind the cut, I got a call for a foster placement today but the kids ended up not being taken into care. There is still a possibility that something might happen but not for another couple of weeks.

Today had me running around a little trying to get my van cleaned out and the seats put back in it. I had taken them all out when I moved but now they are all back in. I also was on my way to Walmart to pick up things that I needed.

Getting new kids is kind of a financial burden when they are young like that because obviously I am not prepared for little ones, with only my big girl in the house.

I also was looking on my local messageboard and I found some bargains.

I am going to get a pack and play and a booster seat. (I think the new law here is up to 80 lbs!) I got outlet covers and a doorknob cover for the downstairs door…I ran out of outlet covers earlier.

I also am looking for a toddler bed, although I have an extra full size bed here if I needed it. Oh, and I need a carseat.

Ok, so I am opening it up to you guys. If you could get called tomorrow for any kids ages birth to 12, what do you think you would need?

Obviously I have some stuff already but I wanted to make a list so I can stick it in my purse for yard sales/thrift stores (I can’t wait for there to be yard sales again..it is Bug and I’s favorite thing to do.) 

Edited to add: Geo just pointed out that the title is kind of misleading. This is actually not my first call at all…just my first call after being relicensed. If you are new here, I’ve had seven short term foster kids so far, and of course I took care of Baby for the night. The short timers were 5, 3, and 8 months (only stayed a few days) 5, 2 and newborn (5 and 2 were only here a day or two and newborn stayed a week) and 9 year old Hermione who was here for about a week or two before she had to be admitted to the hospital.

Technorati Tags: foster care, parenting, baby stuff

***

Buying baby gifts online is now easier than ever, between the user-friendly stores and plenty of baby gift suggestions on quality sites; one suggestion that could be made is that soft baby shoes can be a good gift for a child nearing but not quite at the age of walking.

I had the start of my foster care additional training tonight, which I’ll talk about later. But first I have to tell you a quick story that illustrates my overwhelming asshatiness.

At the beginning we all went around and introduced ourselves and I said I had an almost 11 year old and the teacher asked if I was a single mom to Bug and I said that I was, but that I was in a relationship and Bug considered him to be her Dad, blah blah.

At the end of class, the husband of one of the couples leans over to me and says, “Hey. How come you don’t have kids of your own?”

I was taken aback. And so I said, “What?”

And he said, “How come you don’t have kids of your own?”

And I said, “Oh, do you mean biological children? Because Bug is my own child, she is just not biologically mine. Besides, what does “own” children mean anyway? But I can have biological children, well I think I can, but see..I have this good ovary named Elphaba but I also have a bad ovary named Galinda and she is missing and so I don’t know how easy it would be for me to have children, but Dr. Gel said that there is no reason why not and I was going to go through a sperm bank, but I decided I would rather live in the BDH instead and maybe I will try to have biological children at some future date, but I loved adopting from foster care and I feel more drawn to that right now.”

Or at least that is what I decided I should have said.

But no.

I said, “Uh..I can’t have kids.”

And the guy said, “Yeah, that is what I thought but I didn’t want to ask.”

Which, WTF? Because he did ask.

And also, what the hell kind of answer was mine?

I mean, obviously I don’t want to explain to him the status of my reproductive organs (I only do that with strangers on the internet) but I should of said something. I don’t know what though.

And this was the first time he had spoken to me all night.

I’m an asshat, but he’s a bigger asshat.

Technorati Tags: foster care, adoption, biological children, asshat

Ahhh.. Feeling much better now.

Bug, Geo and I went to the mall on Saturday. Going to the mall is a half day thing, because it takes 1 1/2 to get there. Plus, we had these gift cards for a restaurant which is not available here in our crappy small town. Bug ate the steak and crab legs. And then tried to take a crab claw home. And then got very mad that she wasn’t allowed. She was also quite mad that the mall didn’t have stores that she wanted and threw a fit.

I didn’t throw a fit, because I got some very cute panties and a bunch of clothes that were 70% off. I love me a good bargain.

Geo didn’t throw a fit either, because he found two pairs of 32 X 36 pants, which you can never find in the store. And he was so happy about finding them, and on sale! that he bought me a sweatshirt that has this heavy lining inside and it so warm (because I am always freezing) and a snuggly long sleeve shirt.

But Bug threw a fit because that is what Bug does now. She throws fits and argues. About everything. It doesn’t matter what it is. Part of her problem is that she asks for things at ridiculous times. Like, I’ll be reprimanding her for not doing her chore correctly and she’ll interrupt me to ask if she can have an ice cream bar. Or we’ll be driving in the middle of a cotton field somewhere and the radio station she wants to listen to will not be coming in correctly and she’ll start sobbing that we are so mean to not let her listen to what she wants.

When she is not throwing fits, she’ll be just generally making a pest of herself. If Geo eats over here, he and Bug do 10 minutes in the kitchen. Today I went in the laundry room and when I came out Bug was missing. Apparently Geo had tossed her a sponge. She thought he had thrown it at her, so she scooped up a big handful of soapy water and threw it at him.

He was slightly unamused.

It is in times like this weekend that sometimes I question my decision to add kids to the household. I mean don’t get me wrong. I love my Buggy to death. But when I’m trying to take a shower and there is a heated discussion going on through the door about whether she can google parts of the body for her science extra credit because she didn’t bring her science book home because “she didn’t feel like it or maybe she forgot” then I think that more kids would be nuts.

But nevertheless, more kids it will be.

When? I don’t know.

I went through my first week since I’ve been licensed with no calls. However, I do have my homestudy out on three sibling groups.

Sibling group 1..the latest I’ve heard is that they are going to staffing sometime in January. I don’t know when. The other two groups are collecting homestudies almost to the end of January. I guess I could get called on sibling group 1 at any point, but I don’t know what my chance are or anything.

I also don’t know what would happen if I got picked for two groups. I think that one will get picked before another. I don’t think they allow you to take two groups at once, although I don’t know for sure. That might be a little…um..intense.

Until then, I just tell Geo I want seven kids.

And he says, “Seven?”

And I say, “You like kids, Geo.”

and he says, “Yes, but seven?”

And then I sing, “Climb every mountain” in a beautiful voice.

And Bug says, “I am NOT climbing a mountain. I don’t want to climb a mountain. Why don you always make me do things I don’t want to do??!!” and then bursts into fake tears.

Technorati Tags: temper tantrums, children, parenting, foster care, adoption

Every so often I debate password protecting my site. I don’t want to though, because new people seem to find their way over here and I like new people. I love you old people as well, but I like you new people.

I can’t tell you how sad I am that I lost everything that I had written on the cubbiegirl site. I had chronicled the whole story of bringing Bug home. And before that as well.

Since I am getting ready to embark on this whole foster care/find a new kid to adopt project, I want to make sure that I record as much of this experience as I can.

However, there are times when I need to be a little cautious. I already try to protect this blog by not using our real names. I try to talk about events after they happened. For instance, I didn’t post about our trip to Cats until after we had done it.

But sometimes I want to share pictures and sometimes I want to talk about things that I don’t want out into the public domain.

And then I realized that I can password protect individual posts on my new site. So hot damn, that is what I am going to do.

Most of the blog will remain non-password protected. A few posts will be. If you’d like the password, let me know. If I “recognize” you, or can go to your blog to see who you are, then I’ll send it out.

Also, I’ve decided that I either have 1) a very sore leg and an upper respiratory infection, or 2) a blood clot that is traveling to my lungs or 3) a leg cramp and an asthma attack

Bug is going back to school tomorrow after a very long time off. However, last time I was happy about some peace and quiet my phone rang first thing with some foster children. So we’ll see.

Oh! And tomorrow Bug is going to draw three names for the winners of the “Cycle Savvy” books! So if you haven’t entered yet, do so here!

Technorati Tags: password, foster care, Cycle Savvy, contest

Cammie just left and it went smashingly.

I don’t know if her attitude has changed or mine has but now we are like BFF.

Makes for a less exciting blog though.

Although I probably will change my mind next week.

I’m now officially a foster parent again.

For girls 12 and younger and boys 6 and younger.

She loved the BDH.

Oh get this! There is a class I can take on behavior training. Then I will be licensed as a behavioral foster parent. I said, “Well what qualifies as a behavioral foster child?” and she said that Bug would definitely qualify. And if I had taken the training prior to adopting Bug, my adoption subsidy would be 400 dollars a month more!! Of course, it’s not retroactive, but I’m going to take the class anyway. First, because I think it would be helpful, but second because if I get another “Bug” then a larger subsidy would certainly be nice!

My homestudy is going in on a sibling group.

And Cammie said that she would try to get Bug some kids to play with soon.

So here we go again…

P.S. I didn’t even have to hide my dirty dishes this time.

Technorati Tags: parenting, foster care, adoption, kids, homestudy

I’ve been reading a few interesting discussions on foster care adoptions lately. First is Upside Down Adoption where she explains her reasons for adopting from foster care. And then this post by Foster Abba where she respond to this comment:

What is it about American kids that make them more worthy of a home than kids in other countries?

by American Family.

So, should Americans adopt Americans first? Instead of going to another country?

To answer that, I think we need to look at a few things. First, let’s talk about why people would choose to adopt from China.

• They want a child as young as possible.
• They would like a girl, and chances are they would end up with a girl.
• They want a more definative time line as to when they would get their child.
• They feel a connection to the Chinese culture.
• They have a family member who is Chinese.
• They do not wish to have contact with the first family of their child.
• They live in an area that has a strong Asian population and they feel they could raise their child in an appropriate multi-cultural setting.
• They feel that with an Asian child, they won’t have to deal with as many issues regarding race.
• They have a sense that “their child is in China.”
• They believe that adopting from China is a feminist thing to do.
• They feel drawn to the program after reading a book or seeing a movie.
• They want to have a child that does not have special needs.
• They don’t want to feel that you need to sell yourself to a social worker or potential birth parent.

I am probably missing some things, too. Now, there are obviously some errors in thinking in those reasons. First, you will have to deal with race if you adopt from China. Your child might have special needs that are undiagnosed. You may get a boy. China’s adoption program might slow down (like it has in the past year). You will still have to deal birth famlies, even if not directly. And who knows what the future will bring..in twenty years it might be commonplace for those children abandoned at birth to be able to seek out their birth families. We do not know how things will change or what will happen.

So why don’t people want to adopt from foster care? And are those reasons valid?

First, lets talk about the three ways you can adopt from foster care. You can become a foster parent. If a child that you are fostering does not become reunified with their parents, foster parents are first in line to adopt. You could participate in a foster to adopt program, in which you are licensed as a foster parent but you only take placements of children in which a TPR is likely to occur soon. It is still somewhat of a risk, but a much smaller one than straight foster care. Or you could go a straight adoption route, where the child’s parents have already had their rights terminated and they child is legally free for adoption. This is how I adopted Bug.

When most people think of foster care adoption, they think of the first scenario. This is why you hear people say, “I could never adopt from foster care because I don’t want to have to give the kid back.” If you become a foster parent, you need to understand that the goal is reunify the child with the birth family.

But you can still adopt from foster care and not have to worry about having to return a child. When I got Bug, there was no chance that she would be taken away. Of course, a child who is ready for adoption is generally going to be older. In order to get a young child, you need to be willing to take a legal risk. However, I’ve seen many people foster and end up with babies they got at birth. I’ve also seen children as young as two be available for adoption, with the TPR already complete. If you are not set on a baby, you can adopt from foster care and not have to worry about taking a risk.

Some people feel that they can not handle behavioral issues that are associated with children in foster care. Of course, most people do not realize that you can stipulate what you are willing to take. Also, you will receive detailed information regarding a child that you are interested in adopting prior to adopting them. A child adopted as an infant or even a biological child does not come with that type of information. I knew Bug’s issues before I got her. You don’t have to be willing to take a child with the same issues that I took in order to adopt.

I also think that race has a lot to do with waiting children. There are a lot of African-American children waiting to be adopted in foster care. In my county, there are only two or three foster homes who are willing to take African-American children. (I am one of them). If you take a look through my states’s photo listing, most of the children are black, and the ones that stay on there the longest are black. There are a number of reasons for this, but it is a different subject that I’ll talk about some other time.

So where am I going with this? When it comes down to it, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Adoption is simply another way to build your family.

If we are going to say that people should not adopt from China and should adopt from the US instead, we need to extend that and say that people should not have biological children, but should adopt from foster care instead. There is also the idea that we might be better off if we all looked at ourselves as global citizens. That what happens in China is just as important as what happens in our own country. That we should care what happens to children in China, and the Chinese should care what happens to children in this country, because we all share the same Earth. It might sound simple and idealized, but I think we need to care about children everywhere.

I think that we absolutely need to care what happens to children who are in foster care. I think we should try to educate people about why adopting from foster care is great. That is one reason why I try to keep this blog going, so people can see that Bug is just a kid. I hope that those of you who comment and say, “I love Bug” could maybe see yourself with your own Bug. And maybe you’ll make the call to try to find out how to make that possible.

But I also think that there are really three reasons to adopt: to save a child from poverty or a bad situation, to save a child’s soul, or to build a family. And I think the first two reasons are bogus. So sure, if you want to build your family, I would hope that you would seriously give some consideration to adopting from foster care because I think it is great. But you shouldn’t adopt from foster care because some kids need a place to sleep. What those kids need more is a mom/dad who loves them. Who wants them because they want a child to love. Sure, there are times when I can feel a little smug because I know that I did do something good by adopting Bug and making there be one less child in foster care. But the other 99.99% of the time, I’m just a mom, raising a little girl.

And ya’all, it’s HARD. (As Britney would say)

I know that if I got Bug simply because I wanted to help a needy child, then I would have lost my mind a long time ago. I have Bug because I wanted a child to love, and I think you have to have that mindset or else the child just becomes a burden, like a dog you rescued from the shelter that poops in your shoes.

You should adopt because you think it is a great way to add to your family, not because you want to save someone. And if you think your child is in China, then by all means go to China. If you don’t know where your child is, consider adopting from foster care.

And if you can’t adopt from foster care, but want to help foster children in the US, consider giving to programs that help foster kids, or find a foster family and give them a gift card to Walmart to help out when they get a last minute placement, or bring a foster mom lunch when she has to sit at the hospital with a sick baby (Thanks Lily!) or drop off some car seats to the local DFS, or drop by a Christmas card with some gift certificates for manicures to the DFS workers. There are a lot of ways you can support foster care and foster parents and foster kids without adopting one yourself.

Of course, I’d love it if you would adopt from foster care. I think it is wonderful. I love it when I get an email from someone who says that they are considering adopting from foster care after reading this blog. To me, there is no greater compliment.

But you need to adopt where you heart is.

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