Comments on: Some people.. http://baggageandbug.com/2008/04/30/some-people/ Wed, 20 Aug 2008 13:30:53 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.0.4 by: Beverly http://baggageandbug.com/2008/04/30/some-people/#comment-49429 Fri, 02 May 2008 15:08:29 +0000 http://baggageandbug.com/2008/04/30/some-people/#comment-49429 The social worker needs to be reported as should the teacher!! The fact that you do attach to these kids is what makes you a good foster mom. Who wants kids to return to a possible dangerous environment over and over? Oh right the courts!! Beverly The social worker needs to be reported as should the teacher!! The fact that you do attach to these kids is what makes you a good foster mom. Who wants kids to return to a possible dangerous environment over and over? Oh right the courts!!

Beverly

]]> by: Woundeddeer http://baggageandbug.com/2008/04/30/some-people/#comment-49238 Thu, 01 May 2008 17:15:48 +0000 http://baggageandbug.com/2008/04/30/some-people/#comment-49238 Thank you, thank you, thank you..... People just don't get it at all. "Why are you doing foster care? Why don't you just adopt?" I try to explain that we wanted to provide a safe,joy-filled, peaceful place that a child could heal until reunification and I just get blank stares. We have a child that has lived with us almost a year that is pre-adoptive, he has grown so much, we care for him but as a family we have not "clicked". People think that we are monsters for not adopting him. Everyone wants to judge, but nobody wants to get their hands dirty. It is a huge sacrifice for hubby and I and the 3 bios. Thank you, thank you, thank you…..
People just don’t get it at all.
“Why are you doing foster care? Why don’t you just adopt?”
I try to explain that we wanted to provide a safe,joy-filled, peaceful place that a child could heal until reunification and I just get blank stares. We have a child that has lived with us almost a year that is pre-adoptive, he has grown so much, we care for him but as a family we have not “clicked”. People think that we are monsters for not adopting him. Everyone wants to judge, but nobody wants to get their hands dirty. It is a huge sacrifice for hubby and I and the 3 bios.

]]> by: jade http://baggageandbug.com/2008/04/30/some-people/#comment-49230 Thu, 01 May 2008 16:48:53 +0000 http://baggageandbug.com/2008/04/30/some-people/#comment-49230 I'm shocked by the Social worker the most! You'd think she'd have learned by now how to talk to, and in front of, kids in care. I'm a CASA, and going through foster training right now, and feel pretty hopeful about the other families in our class and the County workers we've met. I'm sorry it's been lame for you over there. I guess some people just dive into stuff before they've really done any thinking or reading about it. Like one guy in our class (he and his wife dropped out eventually) said something like "I thought birthparents could always come and get their kid back after they're adopted." And they were hoping to adopt. wierd. I’m shocked by the Social worker the most! You’d think she’d have learned by now how to talk to, and in front of, kids in care. I’m a CASA, and going through foster training right now, and feel pretty hopeful about the other families in our class and the County workers we’ve met. I’m sorry it’s been lame for you over there. I guess some people just dive into stuff before they’ve really done any thinking or reading about it. Like one guy in our class (he and his wife dropped out eventually) said something like “I thought birthparents could always come and get their kid back after they’re adopted.” And they were hoping to adopt. wierd.

]]> by: Mary http://baggageandbug.com/2008/04/30/some-people/#comment-49144 Thu, 01 May 2008 11:41:18 +0000 http://baggageandbug.com/2008/04/30/some-people/#comment-49144 I am one of those people that have said I am not sure how anyone foster parents because of the heartbreak of course I would never say that to random strangers or just someone I hardly know. It is not meant at all that I think that person does not cares about the kids not it is the exact opposite. I admire someone who would put their heart out there to be broken over and over for the good of these children. Unfortunately I don't think I could handle it and would have a real tough time with the reunification part when I know that I could offer more love and security. So I just admire you for doing this is all. I am one of those people that have said I am not sure how anyone foster parents because of the heartbreak of course I would never say that to random strangers or just someone I hardly know. It is not meant at all that I think that person does not cares about the kids not it is the exact opposite. I admire someone who would put their heart out there to be broken over and over for the good of these children. Unfortunately I don’t think I could handle it and would have a real tough time with the reunification part when I know that I could offer more love and security. So I just admire you for doing this is all.

]]> by: humincat http://baggageandbug.com/2008/04/30/some-people/#comment-49055 Thu, 01 May 2008 04:01:04 +0000 http://baggageandbug.com/2008/04/30/some-people/#comment-49055 Mmmm, Anger! That's hot. hahahaha (sorry, I must have been channeling my inner Paris. Feel free to ignore my idiocy, Hubby does.) Mmmm, Anger! That’s hot. hahahaha (sorry, I must have been channeling my inner Paris. Feel free to ignore my idiocy, Hubby does.)

]]> by: Nicki http://baggageandbug.com/2008/04/30/some-people/#comment-49034 Thu, 01 May 2008 02:07:10 +0000 http://baggageandbug.com/2008/04/30/some-people/#comment-49034 It seems like there are many, many ignorant people in the world. It is amazing that some of these people are actually in charge of kids. :O It seems like there are many, many ignorant people in the world. It is amazing that some of these people are actually in charge of kids. :O

]]> by: cluttergirl http://baggageandbug.com/2008/04/30/some-people/#comment-49024 Thu, 01 May 2008 01:30:33 +0000 http://baggageandbug.com/2008/04/30/some-people/#comment-49024 Ahhh, to greenrobin: I bet that she meant "real foster parents don't attach. You were being a REAL parent before. Now you're becoming a real FOSTER parent" Geesh. Let's see: fos·tered, fos·ter·ing, fos·ters 1. To bring up; nurture: bear and foster offspring. See Synonyms at nurture. 2. To promote the growth and development of; cultivate: detect and foster artistic talent. See Synonyms at advance. 3. To nurse; cherish: foster a secret hope. adj. 1. Providing parental care and nurture to children not related through legal or blood ties: foster parents; foster grandparents; a foster home. 2. Receiving parental care and nurture from those not related to one through legal or blood ties: foster children." Doesn't it apply to the children one gives birth to as well as those not related? Doesn't it say PARENTAL care and nurture, even in the ones re "not related"? Doesn't it say "cherish"? Foster understanding. means :nourish real understanding. Not fake, detatched, halfassed understanding... Sigh. I am so sorry Baggage. I haven't gotten so much of these since I have the Dao: I did before I had him, a lot, when I said I was adopting from China. "Don't you want your own?" "Why don't you try to make a homegrown one?" "Don't we have children here to adopt?" Now I get "Why didn't China want him? They don't give away their boys. What is wrong with him? How did you get a boy?" Anyways, the next time someone says you are special. You are. Some would have stopped with just Bug. Or decided it was too hard to be a single mom. Or done everything they could to have "their own" children. Or be unable to watch a video on sexual abuse, let alone hear it from kids and be able to be open and foster growth and understanding. You are special. Ahhh, to greenrobin: I bet that she meant “real foster parents don’t attach. You were being a REAL parent before. Now you’re becoming a real FOSTER parent” Geesh.
Let’s see:
fos·tered, fos·ter·ing, fos·ters
1. To bring up; nurture: bear and foster offspring. See Synonyms at nurture.
2. To promote the growth and development of; cultivate: detect and foster artistic talent. See Synonyms at advance.
3. To nurse; cherish: foster a secret hope.
adj.
1. Providing parental care and nurture to children not related through legal or blood ties: foster parents; foster grandparents; a foster home.
2. Receiving parental care and nurture from those not related to one through legal or blood ties: foster children.”

Doesn’t it apply to the children one gives birth to as well as those not related? Doesn’t it say PARENTAL care and nurture, even in the ones re “not related”? Doesn’t it say “cherish”? Foster understanding. means :nourish real understanding. Not fake, detatched, halfassed understanding…

Sigh. I am so sorry Baggage. I haven’t gotten so much of these since I have the Dao: I did before I had him, a lot, when I said I was adopting from China. “Don’t you want your own?” “Why don’t you try to make a homegrown one?” “Don’t we have children here to adopt?” Now I get “Why didn’t China want him? They don’t give away their boys. What is wrong with him? How did you get a boy?”

Anyways, the next time someone says you are special. You are. Some would have stopped with just Bug. Or decided it was too hard to be a single mom. Or done everything they could to have “their own” children. Or be unable to watch a video on sexual abuse, let alone hear it from kids and be able to be open and foster growth and understanding. You are special.

]]> by: greenrobin http://baggageandbug.com/2008/04/30/some-people/#comment-48997 Wed, 30 Apr 2008 23:51:55 +0000 http://baggageandbug.com/2008/04/30/some-people/#comment-48997 When they tell me that they'd get too attached I always say, "Yeah, that's what you're supposed to do." Witty, I know, but it never fails to cause surprised looks. Especially from the people who watch me grieve when kids leave. My absolute favorite comment though came from a co-worker. I had just lost a sib set of 4 and wasn't over grieving them when I got the 2 that I have now. I was finding it hard to put away the grief and get down to loving the kids. My co-worker said, "Well, maybe you're becoming a real foster parent now!" Who knew I was a faking it before? When they tell me that they’d get too attached I always say, “Yeah, that’s what you’re supposed to do.”

Witty, I know, but it never fails to cause surprised looks. Especially from the people who watch me grieve when kids leave.

My absolute favorite comment though came from a co-worker. I had just lost a sib set of 4 and wasn’t over grieving them when I got the 2 that I have now. I was finding it hard to put away the grief and get down to loving the kids. My co-worker said, “Well, maybe you’re becoming a real foster parent now!” Who knew I was a faking it before?

]]> by: Torina http://baggageandbug.com/2008/04/30/some-people/#comment-48992 Wed, 30 Apr 2008 23:24:53 +0000 http://baggageandbug.com/2008/04/30/some-people/#comment-48992 I just love the social workers that tell you, "you are a saint for what you do", then use that as an excuse NOT to help you with any services, "Oh, you're so good, you guys will do great with him/her!" Then it is all your fault when the kid needs admittance to a psych hopital because they neglected to tell you the kid was suicidal. Then they act like it is all your fault cause they are all surprised that you didn't pull off some freakin' miracle. Or the coworker who says every day, "I don't know how you deal with those kids of yours. I could never do what you do." I have to go perform some miracles now ;) I just love the social workers that tell you, “you are a saint for what you do”, then use that as an excuse NOT to help you with any services, “Oh, you’re so good, you guys will do great with him/her!” Then it is all your fault when the kid needs admittance to a psych hopital because they neglected to tell you the kid was suicidal. Then they act like it is all your fault cause they are all surprised that you didn’t pull off some freakin’ miracle. Or the coworker who says every day, “I don’t know how you deal with those kids of yours. I could never do what you do.” I have to go perform some miracles now ;)

]]> by: christine http://baggageandbug.com/2008/04/30/some-people/#comment-48968 Wed, 30 Apr 2008 21:00:06 +0000 http://baggageandbug.com/2008/04/30/some-people/#comment-48968 Another one of my co-workers just asked if I was pregnant and then excitely told me she'd go get a home pregnancy test and we could find out for sure!!!!! The number of co-workers I hate is increasing daily. Another one of my co-workers just asked if I was pregnant and then excitely told me she’d go get a home pregnancy test and we could find out for sure!!!!!

The number of co-workers I hate is increasing daily.

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