A little relief
I about lost my mind this weekend. I keep trying to remember that 1 special needs kid equals at least 2 kids. So I’m parenting 12 kids. Right? Right.
Because MAN. I am exhausted.
But this weekend I left the kids with my dad and took the second date with Geo in fifteen months. We went to see a concert, which was most excellent and I felt like a HUMAN again. I realize how much I need to be Baggage. I need to still be me, underneath the Mommy title and the baby food and the puke and the pee. Yes, I chose this. But I am not doing anyone any good if I am miserable. A miserable mom is not a good thing for kids to have. They need a mom who has her shit together and is happy to be around them. Not someone who wants to whimper in a corner because she’s so freaking exhausted.
Because these kids are amazing and I can’t miss out on seeing them be amazing because I’m too damn grumpy.
My helper started today and I think I’m in love. I broke the rule though, because she is real cute. Wasn’t that in some book I reviewed? Hire a frumpy girl?
But she is cute and she’s 23 and has an almost three year old. There were cheaper options, but she felt right and Geo said I should hire someone who needed the money. And a college student with a kid seemed good to me. She came with a printed up list of when she could work, cleaned the kids room, vacuumed and swiffered and sat down with blocks to play with Snowbaby. I could have hugged her.
She’ll be here three times a week for a few hours to try to make me less insane.
It is not about me being superwoman. It is about making life as good for these kids as possible and being a martyr is not what I need to do.
Right?
April 28th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
RIGHT! I’m so glad you got to out with Geo, and that you have some help
April 28th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
Yea!!! Sounds wonderful! So glad you got your date and your new helper!!! I hope you get more relief as the days go by!!
April 28th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
Wait a second, that ratio of comparison is NOT right
When we adopted my son, after only my daughter, we went from 100 kids to 99. So I think you need to count parenting special needs kids in dog years by age or something like that. And I can say that not out of malice but out of experience and love 
and out of being truly exhausted like you sound. Your help sounds necessary. I’m happy that you got a good one!
April 28th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
No one is going to think bad of you for asking for or needing help. I don’t know how you’ve done it this long pretty much solo. Either you’re crazy or have the patience of a saint. Or maybe a bit of both!
It sounds like you found the perfect helper. Not only is she going to help out around the house, she is going to help you reclaim Baggage. Enjoy.
April 28th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
so so so very right! She sounds like a smart hire all around.
April 28th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
I am so jealous! I would love to trick someone into helping me out. We tried when the kids first came home but in the interview they all wanted to meet the kids and that was the deal breaker. They said we couldn’t pay them enough.
April 28th, 2008 at 4:54 pm
ABsolutely, positively right!
April 28th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
You are absolutely right!
I have so much catching up to do… lots has changed around here in the past few weeks!
April 28th, 2008 at 5:33 pm
Right!! (Don’t you love it when people tell you that you are right?)
April 28th, 2008 at 8:25 pm
Dude! You have Super Mom underpants, for sure!! Congrats on getting the help you deserve.
April 29th, 2008 at 7:50 am
So glad you got some help!
April 29th, 2008 at 8:30 am
WOOOHOOOO! I totally didn’t think you were gonna do it, but once again, you surprise me! I leave here impressed, once again. GOOD JOB!
April 29th, 2008 at 11:46 pm
Yeah, Good Job! Way ta go! I think it’s brilliant. I haven,t gotten around to it… just the house has gone to pot and I cancelled all our extras this week (gym, mandarin, playdate) so I can get more done. But I left small son with artsyguy and had a massage tonight and I can so relate. Yay for Baggage time as Baggage!!!