I’m trying to work my way through the mass of emails I have in my inbox. I have a bunch of questions from the blogathon and other times so I’m going to try to answer them…here is my first set of answers…

Humincat asked: Does she growl a lot, or does she want you to try
and scare away her hiccups?

Snowbaby likes to say “RARRRRR” to scare people. She was trying to scare away her hiccups.

Christine asked: So besides moving for reasons that do not include new job or great
place to live, how is the bio-mom doing on her case plan?

Also, you had written (during the blog-o-thon maybe??) that even a
young kid like Bubba shows the effects of neglect and stuff (I know that is
not how you worded it, sorry.) I was wondering if you could go into
more detail about how the younger kids were affected?

Bio-mom has not made any progress on her case plan. As far as the kids go..both the younger kids had significant developmental delays..not only in langauage but in social skills, gross motor skills, personal care skills. Bubba didn’t know his name. He had no concept of potty training.

Both kids have nightmares and night terrors. At times, they get excessively angry for no reason. Bubba cries A LOT. He will sometimes wake up and run out of his bed and point at something in the room when there is nothing there. Both kids, but especially Bubba, can be quite physically agressive. For a long time, Bubba did not hug or kiss anyone. He didn’t sing. He didn’t really know how to talk AT ALL.

Snowbaby was extremely aggressive with food. She would overstuff her mouth to the point of choking. She carried food with her all the time, even to bed. Once, in the grocery store, she sat down on the floor and banged her head on the ground.

Both kids had no concept of routines or discipline. They were afraid of the bath. They didn’t know how to sit at the table and eat. Both kids have thrown up in bed, and just went back to sleep in their vomit. They seemed completely confused when I told them they could have come and woken me up.

These are just a few examples of how they both definitely have issue related to their time with Mom and being in foster care. If you are considering adopting/fostering in this age group, you should do as much research as with an older child. A good book to read is called “The Weavers Craft.”

Cluttergirl asked if Geo takes the kids fishing.

Yes, he does.

Carrie asked: Do you think you have an influence on people that read your blog? How
do you feel about that?

Not sure if this is too personal so do not answer it if it is, but what
are the rules for the older kids in foster care in regards to birth
control? If the girls wanted to be on birth control would it be covered
under their health insurance? Is it a discussion that is simply between
the doctors and the girls?

Do I think I have an influence? Hmm. Well, I guess I do. I’ve gotten quite a few comments/emails from people saying that they have considering fostering because they read my blog. To me, that is a HUGE compliment. I also know that at times I make people mad, because they leave kind of mean comments.

I have a really thin skin, and sometimes blogging is hard for me because I get my feelings hurt. If people don’t comment or if I spend a lot of time writing something, and then it comes across wrong to the reader, that bothers me. There have been times that I’ve been really hurt by something someone says to me.

The reason I mention it is because the reason I keep blogging is because people have said that this blog has influenced them in a positive way. I don’t see myself as the spokesperson for foster care or anything. In the blog I try to show people the good and the bad. I want anyone who reads this to come away with the idea that foster care is challenging but there is so much that is rewarding about it.

In fact, it is the feedback I’ve gotten from the blog that has encouraged me to continue exploring the option of writing a book.

As far as the birth control issue..I’m not sure what happened in Izzy’s case because she was on birth control before she got here. But in Callie’s..she requested she be put on birth control. The request went to the social worker, who discussed it with the team. The team asked her birth mom for her opinion. However, because the team thought it was fine, if birth mom had said no, then they would have taken it to the judge. The judge can outrule the birth mom.

Ironically, the same thing goes for haircuts. When I got Callie a haircut, I had to get permission from the team. I had to get permission from Bubba’s birthmom to have his trimmed. Bubba’s birthmom, by the way, has always been complimentary about the kid’s hair and their clothes. She always tells me that the clothes I get are really cute.

All foster kids in my state are covered by medicaid, and medicaid covers their pills and the doctor’s visits. I’m trying to get approval from the team now to give both girls the vaccine for HPV, but haven’t gotten any response yet.

WordsofJoi asked: What time to
your older girls go to bed? Do they have a certain in-the-room and/or
light-out time?

On non-school days, the older girls do not have a set bedtime unless they are in trouble or being disruptive. On school days, the oldest girls have to be in their rooms by 10:30, Bug has to be in her room at 9. They are allowed to read though after that.

That reminds me..I meant to post our house rules..

More Q and A later.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 8th, 2007 at 10:40 pm and is filed under Uncategorized, Parenting, Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.