I don’t mean to sound stupid..
Callie says that a lot. “I don’t mean to sound stupid but…” She said it last night after she cried and she said it today when she was saying she was excited about the day we have planned for tomorrow.
I’ve been reassuring her that expressing how she feels is not stupid at all.
We had a good food day today. I’ve been encouraging her to help me come up with meals that she would like. Today she wanted chicken stir fry, so we went to the store together and got the stuff. Bug was not at all impressed, but Callie ate the whole thing with a smile on her face. Callie also spent a good deal of time going through my cookbooks and marking down recipes that she thought she would like.
I’m trying to get her involved in the meal decisions. I’m not sure how much truth there is to the list of foods she doesn’t like, but I also know I went through periods of time where I hated certain foods, like Ranch dressing. You also have to remember she came from one home where I’m sure they ate different things than we eat. Moving to a new home is difficult. She has to get used to what we eat, and what we drink, and what we like. And of course, she is also a teenage girl who would like to lose some weight. It is a delicate balance.
And of course, what the hell do I know? I’ve never parented an almost 16 year old. Sometimes I wonder how in the world I ended up being mom to a 15, 11, 3 and 2 year old. No freaking idea. So much of parenting is a crap shoot anyway. What works with one kid doesn’t with the other. What should be effective isn’t because your kid is in foster care. But I’ve noticed that I’m definitely a lot more confident in my parenting skills than I was a year ago. Which is good, I guess, since I’m now responsible for a lot more people!
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Building up some good nutrition habits in children early can help them throughout their lives
May 25th, 2007 at 11:46 pm
I’m trying to learn that expressing your feelings is not stupid. And I’m going all in. I’m planning a grand gesture to express the way I feel. Wish me luck.
May 26th, 2007 at 1:58 am
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May 26th, 2007 at 12:26 pm
I generally find that having picky kids plan meals is really helpful — if they will do it.
May 26th, 2007 at 2:14 pm
Sometimes I ask myself that, WTH do I know? And then the next day I’m so positive my way is right, I’ll fight tooth and nail to prove it. It’s amazing how kids can get us to question everything we know, thought we knew, and never considered in a million years. I have never had a more taxing or rewarding job in my life. Even being married to the worlds most difficult man has been easier then this.
May 26th, 2007 at 6:41 pm
I was just thinking that when I met my hubby I said that (Sounding stupid thing she says) alot too, (I was 15), and he (19)would stop and say “How could you sound stupid?” he made such a deal of it, I finally started catching myself, just so he wouldn’t say anything and now I never worry about sounding stupid. She needs somebody to tell her OFTEN that she is very intelligent-or quick,bright,smart,studious,thoughtful,analytical,interesting, and any other way they can think of to phrase it so she actually starts to gain some confidence around you and then around others. It is a slow process, but oneday she’ll not worry about it. Look at Bug, she knows you love her, and feels comfortable telling you to ?#
May 27th, 2007 at 6:01 pm
My daughter thinks that stupid is a swear word!
With the food thing - could it be a fun activity that you could all (or at least Bug, Callie and you) sit down and play with together?
If Callie is doing the weight concern thing, kick it off with the food pyramid and nutrition and build it in with the budget and the (well, over here) weekly specials brochures to make the shopping list and meal plan.
Not meaning to “tell you what to do” - more a “here is an idea to kick around”. It could also bring in thinking for others (always something nice for pre-teens and teens to work with) in taking the babies into consideration.
May 27th, 2007 at 6:27 pm
Sounds like you are doing the right thing getting Callie to help with meal planning. Breaks down the YOU want ME to eat this dynamic. Jeanie seems to have some good ideas about that too. … and in your last sentence of your post, do you perhaps mean you ARE responsible for a lot more people? And doing a great job at it.
May 28th, 2007 at 5:29 pm
I think you are doing the absolutely right thing with letting her pick out the recipes and help prepare the food. My 13 year old is totally picky about her food. Almost neurotic about it and I got fed up with being told that everything I made she didn’t like. So, I told her to get some cookbooks and pick out some recipes and I put her in chage of two dinners a week. At first she was making stuff just because it seemed cool but it was with ingredients she didn’t like so she wasn’t eating it even though she was making it. But…now she’s eating things she wouldn’t eat before and really getting brave and creative with her cooking and eating.
May 28th, 2007 at 5:50 pm
Food issues suck, I hope things get better in that regard.
May 29th, 2007 at 11:30 am
when our little girl came to live with us (four years ago) food proved to be our biggest issue still. Sometimes I ellude myself to pretending it’s better, but it is more than likely just pausing to trick me
you gave me some GREAT ideas!
May 29th, 2007 at 11:37 am
I think getting Callie in on the meal planning and possibly even the cooking is a great idea.
As an 8th grader I cooked for my family every weeknight. My mom started working again and got fed up with all the eating out, so she paid me to cook (I’m not suggesting you pay Callie to cook, but for us it was a win-win) Anyway, I went through cookbooks every Sunday and came up with a weekly menu, and then we went grocery shopping. We had some classics, but we also tried a lot of new recipes that I probably never would have tried had I not been the one to make them. You may also find that if she likes to cook, it means you get the occasional break from it. And of course it’s a life skill everyone needs to have anyway.
May 29th, 2007 at 1:19 pm
Everything okay on your end of the world?
Kikilia