If you have a child who has significant behavioral issues, DO NOT FINALIZE THE ADOPTION until you have a chance to determine whether you could benefit from your child being staffed as a behavioral foster child.

If I had known that this was an option prior to Bug being adopted, I would have definitely done it. Why? Because having an additional $5000 a year could have a big impact on Bug’s life. We could help build up her college fund. We could pay for private tutoring. We could send her to camp, therapeautic horseback riding, all the classes she wants. We could pay for her homeschooling materials easily.

Some people feel funny asking about money for their children. They are so pleased that they finally got selected for a child that they don’t want to push it. After all, no one hands you a monthly check if you have a bio child.

But don’t do that. Don’t feel guilty. If you feel uncomfortable about it, think of the benefit to your child. I look at this money as Bug’s “reward” for having to put up with so much shit. Yes, if she was my bio child, I wouldn’t get this money for her. But as adoptive parents, especially of older children, we are asked to take on financial burdens that we might not have otherwise.

For instance, saving for higher education. A lot of parents start saving when the children are very young. I didn’t have that option.

I had to pay my way through college. I’d like Bug to have some sort of college fund available to her if she goes to college. I know that college will be a challenge for Bug on its own right, and having money set aside will help lessen her burden.

The thing is, no one will likely tell you what you can and can not get in your subsidy. They will not tell you that you do not have to finalize until you have a subsidy in place that is beneficial to your child. They might push you to finalize before you have all the information you need to know about your child.

In fact, my adoption was fast tracked. My six month waiting period was waived. Nobody told me that if I had taken a simple six week course, Bug could have been getting extra money each month. And we are getting close to having two years together. That is an extra $10,000 that Bug doesn’t have because I didn’t know.

So I’m telling you. I read your blogs. I know you have children like mine. ASK QUESTIONS. Ask what you can do to get a higher rate of pay. Find out everything you can about your subsidy.

And here’s another hint…YOUR SUBSIDY CAN BE CHANGED. If your circumstances have changed since you finalized, push for your subsidy to reflect that. For instance, I had mine changed to allow for Bug to receive day care benefits. When I adopted her, I was a student. I didn’t need daycare. But I should have done it anyway.

I pushed to have it done. I work from home now. That qualifies me for day care. Daycare for Bug means that she can go to day camp during the summer, something she desperately wants to do.

If you have already signed a subsidy that you think it not adequate, push to have it changed.

I am hoping to find some more links to pass on that will help guide you through the subsidy process. Don’t do what I did, which is say, “Um…they told me I couldn’t finalize without my subsidy, so um..could I pick that up?” And then I went to the office and signed it. I didn’t ask what else could be included. I didn’t ask if this is all she was entitled to. I just thought that it was.

Just remember, your child is entitled to that money. If you feel guilty about it, open a separate bank account and set up direct deposit, then only use that account when it directly benefits your child.

Ask questions. Know your rights. It is quite possible that your workers are doing everything they can to ensure that you have the best possible subsidy. It is also possible that they aren’t.

Don’t be afraid to ask for what you think your child needs.

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 26th, 2007 at 1:28 pm and is filed under Uncategorized, adoption, Foster care. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.