I can’t think of a snappy title.
Thank you all for your support. It means a lot.
The house is strangely quiet. I’m going to go to bed. I’m so tired I can’t barely move. I’ve got to take Snowbaby to the Little City for a doctor’s appointment in the morning.
And even though I am pretty much absolutely broke, you know I will be hitting up the mall and Target and the baby store outlet.
I need to shop.
Maybe it will help me forget how crappy I feel right now.
April 23rd, 2007 at 9:30 pm
GET SOME SLEEP. And then have some fun shopping with the baby. Maybe you can find some good stuff on the clearance racks.
April 23rd, 2007 at 9:48 pm
I am so sorry about Butterfly and Bug. I think some retail therapy is just what you need.
April 24th, 2007 at 4:58 am
SLeep and shop and cry… thinking of you..
April 24th, 2007 at 7:10 am
If it helps, I’m praying(in my own non-religious, way to the great being in the sky)
Keep writing. Go shopping. Cry.
It will get better.
April 24th, 2007 at 7:28 am
I’m sorry to hear about Butterfly and Bug. Just wanted to let you know I’m thinking about you (and praying) that things get better soon.
April 24th, 2007 at 8:56 am
I just read all your posts at once. A lot has been going on and I’m sure you’re exhausted and heartsore.
You’re doing everything you can. Try to rest, even if for you shopping is resting.
You’re not a bad mum and I don’t know how many of us could deal with everything on your plate without running screaming.
April 24th, 2007 at 9:08 am
I’m sorry about the girls. If you need to shop, shop. I know there are times just going shopping without even buying anything helps. I’ll be keeping all of you in my prayers
April 24th, 2007 at 10:12 am
Hope it gets better soon.
April 24th, 2007 at 10:14 am
Know that, in spirit, I’m shopping with you. Sleep whenever you can so you can refuel. Prayers for all of you.
April 24th, 2007 at 11:45 am
My heart breaks for you and your girls. I hope one day, I can be as an amazing mother as you. Just know that God is in control of this out of your hands situation.
April 24th, 2007 at 3:49 pm
Oh my heart is hurting for you. I just read all the posts. Baggage I’m so sorry to hear about everything going on. Get some rest, things will work out. You are definately in my thoughts and prayers.
April 24th, 2007 at 4:42 pm
Oh Baggage. This just sucks. But the one bright spot in all of it is that you have the courage to stand up for your girls. They may not know it right now, but as they get older they will know how you stood up for them. We never know the sacrifices our moms made for us until we are moms ourselves - then it seems a little late to say thank you, but believe me, I will call my mom today and tell her. One day you will receive that phone call from your big girls and your heart will swell with pride at who they have become, with hope at the bright prospect of their future, and with joy for all they have given you.
April 24th, 2007 at 6:18 pm
Oh Baggage, I am so sorry. I cannot imagine how you feel, how tired and devastated. Thank god you are getting them the help they need. I just read all your posts at once, and I am sorry I wasn’t here for you to be supportive as you were going through it. Yes, go shopping (and sleep and eat). The last time I had a horrid horrid time, I did that, and by golly it is so nice to have strangers offer to help you out. To wander around where nothing is your responsibility. To mindlessly wander and discover nifty things and make tiny little pointless decisions, like “lime green jelly worms or peach jelly worms?” Somehow you will feel at least a little renewed.
Email or phone me if you need. Hugs.
April 24th, 2007 at 7:51 pm
Oh I am so sorry you have to go through this! I am praying for you and Bug and Butterfly, and the other kids too. What a hard time you all are having. I pray they get what they need in the hospitals and can come home to you healthier and ready for more of your love. You are a wonderful mom! You are so loving and strong and wise. Nothing is easy about that. I wish for you some warm spring sunshine and bird song. Look at my Flickr page if you want to see some flowers.
April 24th, 2007 at 8:10 pm
I’m so sorry for you and your kids. I’m glad that the girls have people looking out for them, who care about them and find help for them.
I hope the hospitals are what they need.
April 24th, 2007 at 9:04 pm
Another I’m sorry. I just got caught up. It seems the world is falling apart this week for lots of folks in my life. You are not a bad mother. Try to think of all the ways all of these children have grown in your care. It is good that they are getting help. Sometimes, even when we want to, we can’t give the kids we love everything they need. Take care of yourself.
April 24th, 2007 at 9:11 pm
Oh my gosh. I haven’t commented in such a long time, but sweetie, I am thinking of you and Bug. Serious good thoughts coming your way.
April 24th, 2007 at 10:10 pm
I’m so sorry Baggage. I’m just catching up, and wish there was something more I could do to help beyond saying that you are in no way shape or form qualified for the title of world’s worst mother.
April 25th, 2007 at 12:34 am
Only good mothers are upset that they can’t solve all their childrens problems without assistance.
You must be devastated but I hope you can find comfort in the fact that the girls are getting the help they need.
I like to pop into bookstores, check out the how to deal with difficult children shelves and remind myself that all these books weren’t written just for me.
Wishing you and the children all the best.
April 25th, 2007 at 8:21 am
You and the girls are in my thoughts. I hope they find the help and peace they need. I can’t imagine how you must be feeling right now, but if it helps at all, please remember there are tons of us out here on the internet rooting for you and the kids.
April 25th, 2007 at 9:05 am
I don’t understand why you are taking care of a baby while Bug needs you.
It was obvious she wasn’t coping with you having more children in the house.
I think all the comments about shopping and you being a good mother are not helpful.
You fucked up, so fix it.
Bug needs you, she needs one on one attention. I really don’t care if I get flamed for saying this. I am really upset about Bug.