Comments on: Anger http://baggageandbug.com/2007/04/13/anger/ Wed, 07 Jan 2009 04:03:32 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.0.4 by: Baggage's Dad http://baggageandbug.com/2007/04/13/anger/#comment-6006 Tue, 17 Apr 2007 03:55:59 +0000 http://baggageandbug.com/2007/04/13/anger/#comment-6006 Well, Ania says I am supposed to tell baggage that I am proud of her, so I will. Baggage, I am proud of you. But, you know, the truth is that I have been proud of her everyday of her life. I used to tell people that she came out of her mother holding a little suitcase and saying, "hello, my name is baggage, where is my room?" What is an not completely true, but it is not that far from the truth either. She has been exceptional since she was a baby, in many ways. I have been able to see her in action in this current foster care situation and she has really got it together. I am proud of her. Baggage's daddy. Well, Ania says I am supposed to tell baggage that I am proud of her, so I will. Baggage, I am proud of you.

But, you know, the truth is that I have been proud of her everyday of her life. I used to tell people that she came out of her mother holding a little suitcase and saying, “hello, my name is baggage, where is my room?” What is an not completely true, but it is not that far from the truth either.

She has been exceptional since she was a baby, in many ways. I have been able to see her in action in this current foster care situation and she has really got it together.
I am proud of her.

Baggage’s daddy.

]]> by: Amy http://baggageandbug.com/2007/04/13/anger/#comment-5987 Mon, 16 Apr 2007 17:14:05 +0000 http://baggageandbug.com/2007/04/13/anger/#comment-5987 I love your blog - it keeps me sane and makes our weird lives seem normal. I love your blog - it keeps me sane and makes our weird lives seem normal.

]]> by: Angel http://baggageandbug.com/2007/04/13/anger/#comment-5961 Sun, 15 Apr 2007 23:59:26 +0000 http://baggageandbug.com/2007/04/13/anger/#comment-5961 It makes me wonder what all of these parents are thinking to treat their children that way. If for some reason my children got taken away, I would be jumping throug HOOPS to get them back! But I've known people in real life who've lost their children to DCFS and been like, "Well, I'm not going to do all this stuff to see my own children, I refuse." or "I would visit my children but I just can't get all the way to Elgin to see them." They just seem to go about their business and leave their kids in limbo... its really mean. It makes me wonder what all of these parents are thinking to treat their children that way. If for some reason my children got taken away, I would be jumping throug HOOPS to get them back! But I’ve known people in real life who’ve lost their children to DCFS and been like, “Well, I’m not going to do all this stuff to see my own children, I refuse.” or “I would visit my children but I just can’t get all the way to Elgin to see them.” They just seem to go about their business and leave their kids in limbo… its really mean.

]]> by: Margaret http://baggageandbug.com/2007/04/13/anger/#comment-5941 Sun, 15 Apr 2007 12:19:48 +0000 http://baggageandbug.com/2007/04/13/anger/#comment-5941 This made my heart break for her. My guess is she'll get through this and then, some time in the future, it will back up on her again. It's a totally different situation, but this reminds me of my nephew. My sister and BIL divorced when my nephew was three. My BIL was a good guy with a good heart, but we used to say he had the opposite of the Midas touch. Instead of everything turning to gold, everything turned to shit. Everything he tried to do just went south in a hurry and he would go down with it. Eventually he was dating a 19 year old, not paying his child support and paying for his teenage girlfriend to go to college. Plus, he never did anything with his son unless my sister arranged/forced it to happen. When my nephew was 12, my BIL had a sudden, massive heart attack and died. Since then, my nephew started to develop this false memory of his dad. A memory where his dad was amazing, and strong, and close with him. He even started to talk about events that never happened as if they did. Now my nephew is in college and he's starting to see/remember the truth about his dad. And it hurts him. He can't figure out some of the neglectful things his dad did. My sister is trying to help him find a balance. He needs to remember his dad honestly, but also remember the good in him and love him for that. He also needs to acknowledge the not-so-good and forgive it. Long story -- sorry. It just reminded me of what Bug's going through. In the absence of the real thing, it's easy to create a fantasy version of a parent. Facing the reality is hurtful. This made my heart break for her. My guess is she’ll get through this and then, some time in the future, it will back up on her again.

It’s a totally different situation, but this reminds me of my nephew. My sister and BIL divorced when my nephew was three. My BIL was a good guy with a good heart, but we used to say he had the opposite of the Midas touch. Instead of everything turning to gold, everything turned to shit. Everything he tried to do just went south in a hurry and he would go down with it. Eventually he was dating a 19 year old, not paying his child support and paying for his teenage girlfriend to go to college. Plus, he never did anything with his son unless my sister arranged/forced it to happen.

When my nephew was 12, my BIL had a sudden, massive heart attack and died. Since then, my nephew started to develop this false memory of his dad. A memory where his dad was amazing, and strong, and close with him. He even started to talk about events that never happened as if they did.

Now my nephew is in college and he’s starting to see/remember the truth about his dad. And it hurts him. He can’t figure out some of the neglectful things his dad did. My sister is trying to help him find a balance. He needs to remember his dad honestly, but also remember the good in him and love him for that. He also needs to acknowledge the not-so-good and forgive it.

Long story — sorry. It just reminded me of what Bug’s going through. In the absence of the real thing, it’s easy to create a fantasy version of a parent. Facing the reality is hurtful.

]]> by: Jo in Utah http://baggageandbug.com/2007/04/13/anger/#comment-5903 Sat, 14 Apr 2007 22:12:43 +0000 http://baggageandbug.com/2007/04/13/anger/#comment-5903 I think it is amazing that you have created a safe enough place for Bug to be able to let these feelings out. I think it is amazing that you have created a safe enough place for Bug to be able to let these feelings out.

]]> by: Karen M http://baggageandbug.com/2007/04/13/anger/#comment-5900 Sat, 14 Apr 2007 20:45:20 +0000 http://baggageandbug.com/2007/04/13/anger/#comment-5900 I don't know. Maybe I'm naive, but I do believe love can fix a lot of things. But it won't fix them overnight. Bug will be okay, because she has you to help her. But I'm really sorry you're both going through this all now. *hugs* I don’t know. Maybe I’m naive, but I do believe love can fix a lot of things. But it won’t fix them overnight. Bug will be okay, because she has you to help her. But I’m really sorry you’re both going through this all now. *hugs*

]]> by: Humincat http://baggageandbug.com/2007/04/13/anger/#comment-5891 Sat, 14 Apr 2007 16:02:01 +0000 http://baggageandbug.com/2007/04/13/anger/#comment-5891 When my stepdad chose drugs instead of a loving family that loved him to death, my heart broke. At 11, I couldn't understand why my love wasn't enough for him. I didn't even care about the drugs. I just wanted him around. I was so angry at my mom. It was all her fault! If SHE hadn't whatever, he'd still be around. My poor mom got all my anger, my tears, my rage, because I knew deep down, she'd always be there, always love me, no matter my behavior. He on the other hand, got the angel, because maybe if I was good enough, he'd stay. My mom is amazing, and so are you. Bug knows she can with you, that she is safe to be her worst, because you will be there with her. That is the best love. Thank you for loving these kids the way you do. When my stepdad chose drugs instead of a loving family that loved him to death, my heart broke. At 11, I couldn’t understand why my love wasn’t enough for him. I didn’t even care about the drugs. I just wanted him around. I was so angry at my mom. It was all her fault! If SHE hadn’t whatever, he’d still be around. My poor mom got all my anger, my tears, my rage, because I knew deep down, she’d always be there, always love me, no matter my behavior. He on the other hand, got the angel, because maybe if I was good enough, he’d stay. My mom is amazing, and so are you. Bug knows she can with you, that she is safe to be her worst, because you will be there with her. That is the best love. Thank you for loving these kids the way you do.

]]> by: cluttergirl http://baggageandbug.com/2007/04/13/anger/#comment-5876 Sat, 14 Apr 2007 04:34:35 +0000 http://baggageandbug.com/2007/04/13/anger/#comment-5876 This entry made me burst out in tears. You speak the truth, yes you do. hugs. This entry made me burst out in tears. You speak the truth, yes you do. hugs.

]]> by: Fostermama http://baggageandbug.com/2007/04/13/anger/#comment-5874 Sat, 14 Apr 2007 03:27:43 +0000 http://baggageandbug.com/2007/04/13/anger/#comment-5874 It hurts so much to see someone you love in pain. ((hugs)) It hurts so much to see someone you love in pain. ((hugs))

]]> by: Kel http://baggageandbug.com/2007/04/13/anger/#comment-5872 Sat, 14 Apr 2007 02:33:53 +0000 http://baggageandbug.com/2007/04/13/anger/#comment-5872 I just recently came across your blog and have found you to be such an inspiration! These children are so blessed to have you in their lives! Your patience and love for them is evident and for that they will one day be ever so grateful! I just recently came across your blog and have found you to be such an inspiration! These children are so blessed to have you in their lives! Your patience and love for them is evident and for that they will one day be ever so grateful!

]]>