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	<title>Comments on: Holidailies #20..From where?</title>
	<link>http://baggageandbug.com/2006/12/21/holidailies-20from-where/</link>
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	<pubDate>Thu, 20 Nov 2008 09:22:23 +0000</pubDate>
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		<title>by: codes</title>
		<link>http://baggageandbug.com/2006/12/21/holidailies-20from-where/#comment-48084</link>
		<pubDate>Wed, 23 Apr 2008 17:40:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid>http://baggageandbug.com/2006/12/21/holidailies-20from-where/#comment-48084</guid>
					<description>&lt;strong&gt;munchie...&lt;/strong&gt;

classic scorched earth...</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>munchie&#8230;</strong></p>
<p>classic scorched earth&#8230;
</p>
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		<title>by: Synesthesia/Iorek/Shondolyn</title>
		<link>http://baggageandbug.com/2006/12/21/holidailies-20from-where/#comment-24309</link>
		<pubDate>Wed, 03 Oct 2007 00:25:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid>http://baggageandbug.com/2006/12/21/holidailies-20from-where/#comment-24309</guid>
					<description>Very true.
I'm not sure if a lot of folks understand that children adopted from China come from ORPHANAGES, so that means there's a set of issues that have to be dealt with, some of them are simular, worse than, equal to issues children in the foster care system may have.
I plan on trying to do both.

How odd it is to post to an old post.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Very true.<br />
I&#8217;m not sure if a lot of folks understand that children adopted from China come from ORPHANAGES, so that means there&#8217;s a set of issues that have to be dealt with, some of them are simular, worse than, equal to issues children in the foster care system may have.<br />
I plan on trying to do both.</p>
<p>How odd it is to post to an old post.
</p>
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		<title>by: Fostermama</title>
		<link>http://baggageandbug.com/2006/12/21/holidailies-20from-where/#comment-492</link>
		<pubDate>Sat, 23 Dec 2006 02:58:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid>http://baggageandbug.com/2006/12/21/holidailies-20from-where/#comment-492</guid>
					<description>Just wanted to add this list that I put together for a forum I belong to, thought you and your readers would appreciate!

How to help foster kids when you can't be a foster parent.

1. Help a foster care program in your state. Your contribution to these agencies will mean brighter and safer tomorrows for children and youth in your state and across America.

Check with the Child Welfare League of America to find out how to help your state program. http://www.cwla.org/

2. Mentor a young person. Research shows that children and youth with mentors earn higher grades and improve their relationships with friends and families.

The National Mentoring Partnership http://www.mentoring.org/index.php and In My Shoes http://www.inmyshoesinc.org/ are two places that will help you get started

3. Learn more about how policy, legislative and budget priorities affect children and youth in foster care.   check with the Children's Defense Fund http://www.childrensdefense.org/join/default.aspx to see how you can help now.

4. Donate goods such as suitcases, books, games, computers, sports equipment, musical instruments, clothing, and school supplies to young people in foster care. Check with the National Foster Parent Association http://www.nfpainc.org/index.cfm to see what the local chapter in your area is in need of.

5. Send care packages to foster care alumni attending college. Many youth who have aged out of the system still need some support when trying to further their education. The Orphan Foundation of America has a way to send packages right now! http://www.orphan.org/

6. Help young people in foster care organize a youth leadership or support group. The Foster club is a national nextwork for kids in foster care to connect with others going through the same experience. https://www.fosterclub.org/grownups/index.cfm

7. Become a virtual mentor for a young person in college. Expand the circle of support for a youth in foster care as an email/online pen pal. The OFA will connect you with someone who needs someone to talk to online! http://www.orphan.org/

8. Become a Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) volunteer. In an overburdened system, abused and neglected kids often slip through the cracks among hundreds of  cases. CASA volunteers can change that. CASA volunteers typically handle just one case at a time—and commit to staying on that case until the child is placed in a safe, permanent home. While others may come and go, CASA volunteers provide that one constant that children need in order to thrive. http://www.nationalcasa.org/volunteer/index.html

9. Shop online and grant a wish for a child in foster care right now. Little Wishes is a program in my area, St. Louis MO, that grants wishes for kids during the holidays. The wishes vary from action figures, art supplies, popcorn parties, sweaters, a class ring, and art lessons. http://www.foster-adopt.org/default2.asp?action=article&#38;ID=3

10. View the Heart Galleries and put a face to the nameless kids in the system. The Heart Gallery™ was founded by the New Mexico Children, Youth and Families Department (CYFD) in 2001 as an innovative way to help waiting children connect with adoptive families. Photographers volunteer their time to capture the personalities of kids in the foster care system. If you're not able to help in any other way please take a few moments just take a look at these beautiful photographs and look into the eyes of some wonderful kids! 

www.heartgallerynj.com/

http://www.childrenshome.org/subpage.asp?navid=0&#38;id=42

http://www.heartgallerywi.org/

http://www.heartgallerytampabay.org/about2.html

http://www1.dshs.wa.gov/heartgallery/

http://www.heartgallerytexas.com

http://www.heartgallerynm.org/

http://www.heartgalleryalabama.com/home/default.asp</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Just wanted to add this list that I put together for a forum I belong to, thought you and your readers would appreciate!</p>
<p>How to help foster kids when you can&#8217;t be a foster parent.</p>
<p>1. Help a foster care program in your state. Your contribution to these agencies will mean brighter and safer tomorrows for children and youth in your state and across America.</p>
<p>Check with the Child Welfare League of America to find out how to help your state program. <a href='http://www.cwla.org/' rel='nofollow'>http://www.cwla.org/</a></p>
<p>2. Mentor a young person. Research shows that children and youth with mentors earn higher grades and improve their relationships with friends and families.</p>
<p>The National Mentoring Partnership <a href='http://www.mentoring.org/index.php' rel='nofollow'>http://www.mentoring.org/index.php</a> and In My Shoes <a href='http://www.inmyshoesinc.org/' rel='nofollow'>http://www.inmyshoesinc.org/</a> are two places that will help you get started</p>
<p>3. Learn more about how policy, legislative and budget priorities affect children and youth in foster care.   check with the Children&#8217;s Defense Fund <a href='http://www.childrensdefense.org/join/default.aspx' rel='nofollow'>http://www.childrensdefense.org/join/default.aspx</a> to see how you can help now.</p>
<p>4. Donate goods such as suitcases, books, games, computers, sports equipment, musical instruments, clothing, and school supplies to young people in foster care. Check with the National Foster Parent Association <a href='http://www.nfpainc.org/index.cfm' rel='nofollow'>http://www.nfpainc.org/index.cfm</a> to see what the local chapter in your area is in need of.</p>
<p>5. Send care packages to foster care alumni attending college. Many youth who have aged out of the system still need some support when trying to further their education. The Orphan Foundation of America has a way to send packages right now! <a href='http://www.orphan.org/' rel='nofollow'>http://www.orphan.org/</a></p>
<p>6. Help young people in foster care organize a youth leadership or support group. The Foster club is a national nextwork for kids in foster care to connect with others going through the same experience. <a href='https://www.fosterclub.org/grownups/index.cfm' rel='nofollow'>https://www.fosterclub.org/grownups/index.cfm</a></p>
<p>7. Become a virtual mentor for a young person in college. Expand the circle of support for a youth in foster care as an email/online pen pal. The OFA will connect you with someone who needs someone to talk to online! <a href='http://www.orphan.org/' rel='nofollow'>http://www.orphan.org/</a></p>
<p>8. Become a Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) volunteer. In an overburdened system, abused and neglected kids often slip through the cracks among hundreds of  cases. CASA volunteers can change that. CASA volunteers typically handle just one case at a time—and commit to staying on that case until the child is placed in a safe, permanent home. While others may come and go, CASA volunteers provide that one constant that children need in order to thrive. <a href='http://www.nationalcasa.org/volunteer/index.html' rel='nofollow'>http://www.nationalcasa.org/volunteer/index.html</a></p>
<p>9. Shop online and grant a wish for a child in foster care right now. Little Wishes is a program in my area, St. Louis MO, that grants wishes for kids during the holidays. The wishes vary from action figures, art supplies, popcorn parties, sweaters, a class ring, and art lessons. <a href='http://www.foster-adopt.org/default2.asp?action=article&amp;ID=3' rel='nofollow'>http://www.foster-adopt.org/default2.asp?action=article&amp;ID=3</a></p>
<p>10. View the Heart Galleries and put a face to the nameless kids in the system. The Heart Gallery™ was founded by the New Mexico Children, Youth and Families Department (CYFD) in 2001 as an innovative way to help waiting children connect with adoptive families. Photographers volunteer their time to capture the personalities of kids in the foster care system. If you&#8217;re not able to help in any other way please take a few moments just take a look at these beautiful photographs and look into the eyes of some wonderful kids! </p>
<p><a href='http://www.heartgallerynj.com/' rel='nofollow'>www.heartgallerynj.com/</a></p>
<p><a href='http://www.childrenshome.org/subpage.asp?navid=0&amp;id=42' rel='nofollow'>http://www.childrenshome.org/subpage.asp?navid=0&amp;id=42</a></p>
<p><a href='http://www.heartgallerywi.org/' rel='nofollow'>http://www.heartgallerywi.org/</a></p>
<p><a href='http://www.heartgallerytampabay.org/about2.html' rel='nofollow'>http://www.heartgallerytampabay.org/about2.html</a></p>
<p><a href='http://www1.dshs.wa.gov/heartgallery/' rel='nofollow'>http://www1.dshs.wa.gov/heartgallery/</a></p>
<p><a href='http://www.heartgallerytexas.com' rel='nofollow'>http://www.heartgallerytexas.com</a></p>
<p><a href='http://www.heartgallerynm.org/' rel='nofollow'>http://www.heartgallerynm.org/</a></p>
<p><a href='http://www.heartgalleryalabama.com/home/default.asp' rel='nofollow'>http://www.heartgalleryalabama.com/home/default.asp</a>
</p>
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		<title>by: Maggie</title>
		<link>http://baggageandbug.com/2006/12/21/holidailies-20from-where/#comment-485</link>
		<pubDate>Fri, 22 Dec 2006 19:32:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid>http://baggageandbug.com/2006/12/21/holidailies-20from-where/#comment-485</guid>
					<description>Thanks for ideas about how to support the foster care system without becoming a foster parent. Foster parenting isn't an option for me right now and I've wondered if there's anything else I can do!</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Thanks for ideas about how to support the foster care system without becoming a foster parent. Foster parenting isn&#8217;t an option for me right now and I&#8217;ve wondered if there&#8217;s anything else I can do!
</p>
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		<title>by: Foster</title>
		<link>http://baggageandbug.com/2006/12/21/holidailies-20from-where/#comment-479</link>
		<pubDate>Fri, 22 Dec 2006 04:57:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid>http://baggageandbug.com/2006/12/21/holidailies-20from-where/#comment-479</guid>
					<description>I used to say, when it came to adoption, that if ppl wanted to adopt, why didnt they adopt from the US b/c there are plenty of kids here who need homes.  As Ive gotten older and started to care less about how ppl got their kids, I really have cared less about domestic vs. international adoption.  The thing I have learned though that REALLY cements it for me is this startling fact: There are around 144,000,000 orphans in the world and only 100,000 American families adopt each year.  Total, domestic or international, only 100,000.  Now THAT really opened my eyes totally to the fact that IT DOES NOT MATTER where the child came from, just that they arrived.  My response to ppl who would say "Why dont you adopt an American kid; plenty of them need homes, too," would be, "You are right, there are many who need homes.  Why dont you consider welcoming one into yours?" and see what they say.  Ill bet they have some excuse about why they cant.  But, you know, since you are doing it, they have the right to tell you how you should be doing it e_e

100,000 out of 144,000,000.  Thats a sad, sorry shame :(</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I used to say, when it came to adoption, that if ppl wanted to adopt, why didnt they adopt from the US b/c there are plenty of kids here who need homes.  As Ive gotten older and started to care less about how ppl got their kids, I really have cared less about domestic vs. international adoption.  The thing I have learned though that REALLY cements it for me is this startling fact: There are around 144,000,000 orphans in the world and only 100,000 American families adopt each year.  Total, domestic or international, only 100,000.  Now THAT really opened my eyes totally to the fact that IT DOES NOT MATTER where the child came from, just that they arrived.  My response to ppl who would say &#8220;Why dont you adopt an American kid; plenty of them need homes, too,&#8221; would be, &#8220;You are right, there are many who need homes.  Why dont you consider welcoming one into yours?&#8221; and see what they say.  Ill bet they have some excuse about why they cant.  But, you know, since you are doing it, they have the right to tell you how you should be doing it e_e</p>
<p>100,000 out of 144,000,000.  Thats a sad, sorry shame <img src='http://baggageandbug.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_sad.gif' alt=':(' class='wp-smiley' />
</p>
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		<title>by: Jennifer</title>
		<link>http://baggageandbug.com/2006/12/21/holidailies-20from-where/#comment-473</link>
		<pubDate>Thu, 21 Dec 2006 23:10:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid>http://baggageandbug.com/2006/12/21/holidailies-20from-where/#comment-473</guid>
					<description>One thing I was shocked about when I entered the world of adoption is just how judgemental aparents are of one another [coincidentally, I was also shocked at how political pregnancy and childbirth are as well - abortion isn't the only hot button].  To some, a parent going the international route was the more noble - they are saving a child from the worst possible life.  Domestic aparents are somewhat on the selfish side of wanting a baby that looks like them.  From the domestic side, foreign aparents are emotionally weak.  They went that route because they were scared of the stereotypical domestic horror stories.  Once I began reading blogs, judgements fly from every camp.  It's crazy to me.  Every child needs a home.  What difference does it make where they originated?  When everyone became unhinged about Madonna because she adopted internationally instead of from the US (even though she lives in the UK now), I wanted to scream: the woman is only adopting one child.  This will only benefit one child.  Why is it my business or anyone elses?  Anyway...  

I am currently considering a tubal ligation.  We have two beautiful daughters, but my PPD with Allison beat the crap out of me.  Would it be nice to have a little boy?  Yes, it would.  There's no guarantee with pregnancy that I will have a boy (but I would equally love another daughter).  Am I scared of what another turn in the post-partum world would do to me, my marriage and my family?  Yes.  Do I want my life decisions to be ruled completely by fear?  No.  I will say that I am guilty of saying that I could never adopt from foster care for fear of loving a child who has to be returned - especially if that place he or she will go is sheer hell.  You opened my eyes about that.  Thank you!  It makes me feel a lot better about getting spayed (is that the right term for a female).  If I decide later on that my family isn't complete, there is another way to continue to build it.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>One thing I was shocked about when I entered the world of adoption is just how judgemental aparents are of one another [coincidentally, I was also shocked at how political pregnancy and childbirth are as well - abortion isn&#8217;t the only hot button].  To some, a parent going the international route was the more noble - they are saving a child from the worst possible life.  Domestic aparents are somewhat on the selfish side of wanting a baby that looks like them.  From the domestic side, foreign aparents are emotionally weak.  They went that route because they were scared of the stereotypical domestic horror stories.  Once I began reading blogs, judgements fly from every camp.  It&#8217;s crazy to me.  Every child needs a home.  What difference does it make where they originated?  When everyone became unhinged about Madonna because she adopted internationally instead of from the US (even though she lives in the UK now), I wanted to scream: the woman is only adopting one child.  This will only benefit one child.  Why is it my business or anyone elses?  Anyway&#8230;  </p>
<p>I am currently considering a tubal ligation.  We have two beautiful daughters, but my PPD with Allison beat the crap out of me.  Would it be nice to have a little boy?  Yes, it would.  There&#8217;s no guarantee with pregnancy that I will have a boy (but I would equally love another daughter).  Am I scared of what another turn in the post-partum world would do to me, my marriage and my family?  Yes.  Do I want my life decisions to be ruled completely by fear?  No.  I will say that I am guilty of saying that I could never adopt from foster care for fear of loving a child who has to be returned - especially if that place he or she will go is sheer hell.  You opened my eyes about that.  Thank you!  It makes me feel a lot better about getting spayed (is that the right term for a female).  If I decide later on that my family isn&#8217;t complete, there is another way to continue to build it.
</p>
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		<title>by: atlasien</title>
		<link>http://baggageandbug.com/2006/12/21/holidailies-20from-where/#comment-472</link>
		<pubDate>Thu, 21 Dec 2006 22:32:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid>http://baggageandbug.com/2006/12/21/holidailies-20from-where/#comment-472</guid>
					<description>I'm glad you liked my post!  I feel in the middle on this issue.  I see where FosterAbba is coming from and my husband has much the same outlook as she does.  But I disagree and say I can't look down on international adoption as being automatically morally inferior.  I think there are both good and bad approaches to doing all kinds of adoptions, including private domestic.  

I also think too many people reject adoption from foster care because of kneejerk reactions, including racial reactions, and misconceptions.  If people do consider it and reject it, I hope they reject it for the right reasons based on accurate and balanced information.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I&#8217;m glad you liked my post!  I feel in the middle on this issue.  I see where FosterAbba is coming from and my husband has much the same outlook as she does.  But I disagree and say I can&#8217;t look down on international adoption as being automatically morally inferior.  I think there are both good and bad approaches to doing all kinds of adoptions, including private domestic.  </p>
<p>I also think too many people reject adoption from foster care because of kneejerk reactions, including racial reactions, and misconceptions.  If people do consider it and reject it, I hope they reject it for the right reasons based on accurate and balanced information.
</p>
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		<title>by: Islay</title>
		<link>http://baggageandbug.com/2006/12/21/holidailies-20from-where/#comment-454</link>
		<pubDate>Thu, 21 Dec 2006 10:11:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid>http://baggageandbug.com/2006/12/21/holidailies-20from-where/#comment-454</guid>
					<description>That is an awesome post! You sum up situation really well. 

I've always wanted to adopt internationally, and I still do - but your blog has also made me seriously consider adopting from foster care as well. Having a biological kid has never been important to me, but having a child from as close to birth as possible is, which is one of the reasons I would adopt from overseas. I see all forms of adoption as equal. I think what happens to kids in Ethiopia or Guatemala or Russia or anywhere else should concern all people everywhere, because as human beings, no matter our country of birth, we have a duty to look out for each other. I wouldn't adopt internationally because I think it would be ‘easier’ (safer, fewer behavioural issues, no birth parents etc) or because I want to 'rescue' a kid from an orphanage or because it's 'trendy' (see Madonna, ugh). I'd do it because it's important to me to have a child from close to birth. So my decision to look to another country instead of local foster care for a child is an age thing, not really about the idea that a lot of people seem to have that one form of adoption is somehow better than the other. But your blog also made me realise that not having a kid from birth wouldn't necessarily be harder - just different, and maybe something I'd like to experience, as well. So you (and Bug) have definitely made me consider foster care as well as international adoption.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>That is an awesome post! You sum up situation really well. </p>
<p>I&#8217;ve always wanted to adopt internationally, and I still do - but your blog has also made me seriously consider adopting from foster care as well. Having a biological kid has never been important to me, but having a child from as close to birth as possible is, which is one of the reasons I would adopt from overseas. I see all forms of adoption as equal. I think what happens to kids in Ethiopia or Guatemala or Russia or anywhere else should concern all people everywhere, because as human beings, no matter our country of birth, we have a duty to look out for each other. I wouldn&#8217;t adopt internationally because I think it would be ‘easier’ (safer, fewer behavioural issues, no birth parents etc) or because I want to &#8216;rescue&#8217; a kid from an orphanage or because it&#8217;s &#8216;trendy&#8217; (see Madonna, ugh). I&#8217;d do it because it&#8217;s important to me to have a child from close to birth. So my decision to look to another country instead of local foster care for a child is an age thing, not really about the idea that a lot of people seem to have that one form of adoption is somehow better than the other. But your blog also made me realise that not having a kid from birth wouldn&#8217;t necessarily be harder - just different, and maybe something I&#8217;d like to experience, as well. So you (and Bug) have definitely made me consider foster care as well as international adoption.
</p>
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		<title>by: Dawn</title>
		<link>http://baggageandbug.com/2006/12/21/holidailies-20from-where/#comment-450</link>
		<pubDate>Thu, 21 Dec 2006 04:24:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid>http://baggageandbug.com/2006/12/21/holidailies-20from-where/#comment-450</guid>
					<description>Two thumbs up! Awesome awesome post!!!! If there's an adoption blog carnival, this post should totally be in it!!!</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Two thumbs up! Awesome awesome post!!!! If there&#8217;s an adoption blog carnival, this post should totally be in it!!!
</p>
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		<title>by: Margaret</title>
		<link>http://baggageandbug.com/2006/12/21/holidailies-20from-where/#comment-448</link>
		<pubDate>Thu, 21 Dec 2006 03:50:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid>http://baggageandbug.com/2006/12/21/holidailies-20from-where/#comment-448</guid>
					<description>I've written about this topic too. When I was adopting from Russia I was criticized for not adopting from the US. It pissed me off. Since when did adoption become a patriotic issue? Whether they're from the US, Guatemala, Russia, China, or wherever -- kids are kids. They all deserve a loving family. 

As you know, I'm adopting from the US now. I've encountered several people in the system who criticize my previous attempt at Russian adoption and belittle it. I've also had people question why I would want to adopt from foster care. I've even heard awful comments about how the kids are really "screwed up." 

I see my Russian adoption and my US adoption as very equal endeavors. I want to be a parent. I want to be a mom. My little boy in Russia needed a mom as badly as I need a child. The same will hold true for my child here in the US. In the long run, despite nationality differences, the kids have more in common than you would think.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I&#8217;ve written about this topic too. When I was adopting from Russia I was criticized for not adopting from the US. It pissed me off. Since when did adoption become a patriotic issue? Whether they&#8217;re from the US, Guatemala, Russia, China, or wherever &#8212; kids are kids. They all deserve a loving family. </p>
<p>As you know, I&#8217;m adopting from the US now. I&#8217;ve encountered several people in the system who criticize my previous attempt at Russian adoption and belittle it. I&#8217;ve also had people question why I would want to adopt from foster care. I&#8217;ve even heard awful comments about how the kids are really &#8220;screwed up.&#8221; </p>
<p>I see my Russian adoption and my US adoption as very equal endeavors. I want to be a parent. I want to be a mom. My little boy in Russia needed a mom as badly as I need a child. The same will hold true for my child here in the US. In the long run, despite nationality differences, the kids have more in common than you would think.
</p>
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